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✦ { Fuzzi } Pretentious Liars

Client: CoffeeAndSilverInk

Reviewer: fuzziwrites

Title + Book Cover: 4.5/5

The title is succinct and gives off a "Pretty Little Liars" feeling (it might be the fact that they practically start with the same letters), while the cover is dark, mysterious, and evokes a similar feeling. "Pretentious" is an especially fitting word for the title, considering that the story involves rich students at a...pretentious school. The only thing I have is that the font for "Pretentious" in the title is hard to read.

Blurb: 4.5/5

The blurb does a good job establishing the premise of the story: a murder mystery that an unlikely alliance will work to solve. It sets up the two main leads as well as the prestigious school setting clearly, while creating an atmosphere of intrigue and danger. Good job!

One thing I will note is that the wilted roses imagery gave me a different reaction than expected—mainly amusement. That might just be my own association because of the way that the emote has been used in online culture recently, but it's something to keep in mind.

Introduction: how well do the first three chapters hook me in? In the case of short stories/anthologies, it would be the first chapter/scene of each individual story 8.5/10

The first three chapters do a good job introducing us to Kimi, her friends, her not-so-friends, and the cutthroat setting that is Giele Rose School. There's a wide cast to keep track of, but the pacing and perspective makes it manageable. We're allowed to stay in Kimi's viewpoint the entire time, and since she's been gone from the school for six months, she's reacquainting herself with the school right alongside the reader. The social dynamics come through clearly, which makes the school feel lived-in and layered. (More on this in the characters and worldbuilding sections)

That said, by chapter 3, the story still feels like it's waiting for the inciting incident. While I know from the synopsis that a murder is on the horizon, the highest stakes so far is whether Ismael will get together with Poojitha, a thread that was introduced the chapter before. Delaying the inciting incident does give space to flesh out Ismael and Mikaela before the plot kicks in, there's just the slight risk of readers losing patience before the real mystery begins.

Worldbuilding: 8/10

The school setting is convincing, and I like that it feels unusual compared to the usual "high school" setup—it's extremely elite, bordering on extravagant. Each student gets their own queen sized bed, a luxury unheard of even for current top universities in the world, which makes it a memorable place to read about.

That said, there are some points where I feel the logic gets shaky. The teachers come across as oddly warm, even encouraging, which feels inconsistent given how toxic and competitive the student body is (e.g. the German teacher discouraging Kimi and Liam from "being the best"). Typically, the culture of a school is fostered from the top down, so it's worth asking: why are the teachers so lenient while the students are tearing each other apart?

Another small thing was Kimi being able to sneak into the taped-off study room, and Liam's later ruckus 💀 In a school wealthy enough to provide queen-sized beds, I would expect cameras in the hallways, making it impossible to sneak through without dealing with those cameras first. Addressing gaps like these could make the worldbuilding feel even more grounded.