Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

✦ { Maude } Hidden in the Stars

Client: thevioletscar

Reviewer: -Untactful_Criminal

Introduction: 5/10

> - Blurb:

You need to focus on being ambiguous yet informative. The blurb is good; however, the past-tense/present-tense relationship isn't worded correctly. First off, you have a typo: "she.was". Last sentence of your second paragraph.

"As they rekindled their bond, Elina uncovered Florion's secrets: advanced technology, inter-universal travel, and a world where science and magic coexisted.

With Gary by her side, Elina navigated this uncharted realm, confronted her past, and unraveled the mysteries of Florion."

'Rekindle' should probably be in the present tense since this is what is occurring within the book. Everything here mentioned above should be present tense.

> - Prologue:

You don't have a direct prologue; however, I would say that the first couple chapters could be condensed and made into a prologue. The time skips were unnecessary and confusing. I didn't see the necessity for even showing the school part with some random interactions with other people. Most of "Beautiful Child" is necessary. When you skip time in books, you have to ask yourself why you skipped the time and didn't move smoothly into each event. Again, the first two chapters could easily act as your prologue.

> - First couple chapters:

The first couple chapters felt unnecessary to the story plot and seemed like a way to throw in some extra "vibrato" that we didn't need. I enjoyed the cute interaction between Elina and Gary, giving readers a bit of what might come about. The foreshadowing was poorly done, but I will mention that later.

> - Hook:

To be honest, I didn't have a hook. The beginning was very rushed and boring. I was waiting for that moment, and it only happened at the end of the book. There needs to be something to draw in the reader without spoiling the end. I would have put one of the flash backs or even a different flashback in the beginning to put everything together, because, right now, everything is pieced into two different sections for me. The hook is completely non-existent except for the sweet interaction between the two main characters. The whole half of the book was giving cheeky romance vibes, which doesn't fit the ending at all. The hook needs to not only pull in the reader but it also needs to correlate with the book so that the reader can be like, "Ohhhh. Now, it all makes sense." I did not have that feeling. I would have stopped reading halfway through due to the light romance and poor plot.

Graphics: 3/5

> - Cover:

The cover is very simple and understandable for the plot. The hands are kind of weird though. I get what you were trying to display, but I would have actually not made it look like they were getting married. I would have made it more galactic/star-like to fit the theme of the book.

> - Banners (if included):

'Thank you for reading' is simple and bright, but the pink doesn't really go. Maybe a gold would have been better.