Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

✦ { Kamila } The Dark World

Client: Nash_Books

Reviewer: Kamila_DeRico

Summary: 5/10

The following excerpt is the book's original summary, including all formatting and punctuation choices by the author:

April: Tyler; Black: White

Are like two sides of a coin, two different people painted in Grey. They live and breathe in a life they never wanted: a life of survival. A life in a Game.

[Cause they are chained, claimed by the makers of death: Phantom]

(in, The Oblivion)

{(to, The Dark World)}

Your summary is short and doesn't waste too much of the reader's time. These are the qualities I like about it.

That being said, there are also some things that could be improved.

First of all, what makes a good summary?

1. The Characters: Who your story is about.

2. The Conflict: The dilemma your characters are struggling with. What they yearn to complete.

3. The Stakes: What they stand to lose if they do not accomplish their goal.

4. The Setting: Where your story takes place.

Now, your summary incorporates only two of these qualities. The Setting and the Characters. We're introduced to April and Tyler, two people with opposite personalities, living in a world they do not want to live in.

And that's it.

What is the book about? What is the conflict? Why should we click on chapter one and continue reading? We aren't told. We're introduced to the characters, but weren't given a clear reason to want to know more about them.

The conflict is a bait on the hook [summary] of your story. Without it, readers are not going to be interested in the book.

And this goes hand in hand with your stake, because without conflict, it cannot exist.

It is also confusing considering we're not given enough information to grab the basics of the book.

Cause they are chained, claimed by the makers of death: Phantom- What does this line mean? You as the author must understand; you wrote the book. But the readers are unable to grasp it because not enough information was given.

Suggestions:

1. You're already on the right track with the characters and setting. Just introduce the stake and the conflict to the readers.

2. Provide more clarity to your summary. Give us enough information to have us craving for more without spoiling the entire book for us.

Title: 8/10

The Dark World is a title I believe suits the entire premise of the story, but in a vague sense. In a sense that you have an idea of what you're getting into by the title—a somewhat dystopian world. It doesn't reveal too much information.

However, it may feel too general.

How?

I could write a book about a zombie apocalypse plaguing the earth and name it The Dark World and that name would technically fit the premise of the story. I could also write a book about world war three and name it The Dark World, or write a book about a criminal organisation and name it The Dark World.