A Story to Tell

November 17, 2015

I wake with a weird feeling on my chest. It feels itchy. Weird. I get out of bed and head for the shower. I wash my hair and then let the warm water drip on my back. It feels so nice. I get out of the water after finishing washing my body and hurry to my room. I look through my drawers for my bra and underwear. Then I opened the last drawer and see my pack of pads. I stand up thinking, when did I have my last period. I counted in my head and remembered it was the 10 last month. It's the 17 today. Well mine is irregular so maybe it will come in a few days. I close the drawer and continue looking for clothes.
                                    ~
Once I was at school I go and sit next to Ashely and Becca. They were having a sandwich. It looks disgusting. "Hey Caro!" Becca calls. "Hi" I say as I walk towards them. "Do you have the homework for AP Bio?" She asks. "Ya why?" I ask. "I forgot to do it, is it fine if I can see it?" She asks. Red starts flowing in my face. "Why don't you and Ally ever do your homework? You both always ask me and I get sick of it because you guys both should do your homework!" I yell. They just look at me. "Caro, what's wrong?" Ashely asks a little concerned. "Nothing. Just please stop asking." I say and I walk away.
What the hell has gotten into me? I never get mad with my friends. I walk to Ap bio and sit down. I'm pretty early but I don't want to be around people right now. I draw on my paper
Alex + Carolina=❤️
From behind I feel someone covering my eyes. I turn around and its Alex. "Hey, baby." He says and leans in for a kiss. "Mm, not right now." I say as I push him away. "What's wrong? He says. Then I feel a weird grudge in my stomach. I feel something coming up. Oh crap! I push him away and run down the hall and to the girls bathroom. There isn't any girls there so I run and close the bathroom stall. I violently launch over the toilet and spill my breakfast. Oh my god what did I eat?! Once I was don't I flush the toilet and go to the sinks and rinse my mouth. I grab a tic tac from my bag and leave. I walk back slowly to Bio.
"Are you alright?" Alex asks. "Ya, just food poisoning I guess." I say as I write what's on the board. "If you need anything just ask me." He says then walks away. When he leaves I give him a little slap on his booty. He turns and smiles then walks to the back. That was weird. I normally don't get sick like that. Oh well.
~
I went to lunch but got no food. I didn't want to get sick like the morning. "Hey, are you okay, I heard what happened this morning." Ashely said as I walk toward the the table we usually sit. "Ya I'm fine." I say as I sit down. As soon as I sat down I started feeling sleepy. I've been sleepy all day. "Are you hungry? Here at least have an apple." Chelsea says as she hands me an apple in her hand. I grab it and start chewing it rapidly. Once I was done I got the curly fries Lupe never eats. Then I was still hungry and went in line to get food. I got a burger with curly fries and a bag of Cheetos. I went back and ate all the food. "Dang Caro chill, I haven't seen you eat that much since..." Ashely says then stops because I know what she is going to say. Mom was locked me in my room with no food at all and I had to stay like that for a whole day and when I got food I was like a vacuum. But this time I did eat last night. I did eat this morning. This is weird. First this morning the itch, the morning sickness, the tiredness, no period. Oh, no. Oh hell no. Then I drop my burger and run to the bathroom. Oh no, Imma get sick again. I push people out of the way until I got into the stall. And like this morning I let out all the food I just ate. Then I here someone call my name. "Caro! Caro, are you okay?" I here Ashely call my name and bang on the stall. I get up and flush the toilet and leave the stall and for once my mouth. "Wants going on? First this morning now now!" I get a tic tac and try to think. "Ashely. If I tell you we need to leave school right now that it might change my life, would you?" I ask her. "What?" She asked really confused. "Would you?!" I ask her now a little more impatient. "I don't know, can you just tell me what is going on?!" She says yelling at me. Then I grab her by the wrist and drag her out. I know a back side of the door where we can ditch. I drag her with me and make sure people don't see. Once we were far away she finally pulls me away. "What the hell?!" She asks. "Ashely, please. I'm going to tell you something that might change me and my relationship with everyone. Can you please keep this secret?" I ask finally calmly. "You know I can." She says. "I might be pregnant." I say quietly. She stares at me in shock. I feel my cheeks flush of blood and then tears start to fill my eyes. "Okay. How? When!" She demands. "I don't know! I mean we have been doing it a while so I don't know when. But it's not a definite yes, I just started realizing the symptoms, and I need to take the test." I say and tears start falling down my cheeks. "Oh god." She says that grands me and hugs me and let's my tears fall on her sweater. "Well Imma be here by your side the entire time. No matter what. Now let's go and get you the test. And we'll see what comes after that." She smiles a little and wipes away a few tears by her eyes then mine.
~
"Why three?!" I say shocked as she picks up 3 pregnancy tests from the Walmart maternity isle. "When my cousin was pregnant she only tried one and it was negative but then she bought 3 more and they all came out positive. We need a definite yes." She says and we walk to the cash register. Once we pay we start walking to her house. My phone started getting a few messages asking me where I was. I ignored them and continued walking. Once we got to her house I started to get a little worried. "Are you sure no one is home?" I ask her. "I don't want to get you in trouble." I say. "No one is home. And if my mom asks why I ditched I can just say I didn't feel good so I left." She opens the door and drops her stuff in the couch and she pulls me upstairs and gives me the tests. "Okay you know how to do this?" She asks me. I shake my head. I don't have any experience with these not have I seen or heard people use these. "Okay. It's easy. First you have to take it out and pee on it. Then you close it and leave it on the counter for 5 minutes and we'll see the results. Okay?" She says. I nod slowly. "Here, put them on top of this once you finish taking it." She hands me a small brown towel. "Good luck." She smiles then walks away. I walk into the bathroom and open the first box. It's a stick. I should have figured it out. I open it and go to the toilet and sit. Then I let the urine get on the stick. I think I should do it all at the same time. So I close that test and put it on the towel then open the next two tests and do the same same as the first. I put them down on the towel and wait. I wash my hands and sit on the toilet and wait. Once I think 5 minutes passed I walk slowly to the tests. I close my eyes and then pick one up slowly. Then I open them.
+
Then I pick up the other one.
+
Then the last one.
+
I'm pregnant.
~
"Damn. Your pregnant." Ashely says looking at the tests. I'm pregnant. "What am I going to do?" I say hugging my knees together. "God my mom is going to kill me. She doesn't even want to handle me." I say. "Let's just see how things go. We will figure out the rest in a few months when you start showing." She says. We stay quiet for a moment. "What are going to tell Alex?" She asks. Alex? He's my baby's dad. Holy crap! Alex is going to be a dad! But does he want to? No, he won't leave me. I know he won't. "I have to tell him. He'll understand." I say with a smile. "Really?" She asks. "Yes I'm sure." I say and feel my eyes start to close. "You should sleep. School is almost over I'm going to go. I'll be back in a while. Don't worry about my mom. She won't be home till 6:30. And Jase is going to be gone for the week. Text me if you need anything." She says grabbing her stuff. "Okay" I say. "Bye." She says walking out of the house. Once she is gone I lie down on my back and move my hands to my belly. I rub it slowly. I'm going to be a mom. "It's okay baby. I'm going to love you unconditionally. I'll take care of you like a real mom." I say and tears fall. I'm going to be a better mom then mine ever was. I promise.
~
I woke up with the sound of my stomach growling. I got up and went to the kitchen. I made myself a quesadilla. I ate it so fast like this morning. Then I went and fixed the couch were I slept. It's 3:06. Ashely should be home any minute. I went back to the kitchen and stated making her a quesadilla and a salad. I know how much she loves her salads. Then I here the door open. "Caro I'm home!" She yells. Huh funny like an old married couple. "I'm in here." I call back. She walks him and gives me a face of horror. "You are not allowed to be working! She came and took the stuff out of my hands and put them down. "What? I was making you food." I say looking at the food. "So in class I was reading a lot about pregnancies and I read that throughout the first few months it's safer not to do a lot of work because it will damage the baby." She says. "But what about when I get home and my mom is going to make me clean in the house?" I ask. "Okay. I have been thinking a lot. That place is absolutely no place to raise a baby. Your mom is going to beat you and it is going to effect the baby. I think you should call the police. They will put you in a good foster place soup I will be safe and the baby." Once she started saying that I completely zoned out. "No. I can not get in the foster system. No. I'll find something else but absolutely no foster home." I say and made it clear. "Okay. Then we'll think of something." She says. We stay quiet for a moment. "You know I think it's a good idea we should go shopping for new clothes for you. And maybe books so you will know what's going on with the baby so you can get prepared." She says trying to encourage me. I smile and say "Sure." She also smiles and says, "Okay then. We should go"
~
"This looks really big!" I say as she pulls out a big pink blouse that says Big Belly but Proud what's Inside. She laughs,"Okay we can find a smaller size. Here how about this one?" She says when she gets another one the same type but smaller. "Sure" I say. By the end we have 5 blouses and 3 pairs of jeans and 3 new bras. Ashely says once I start developing more my breasts are going to grow too. We also got 3 parental books for pregnancy. They are actually really interesting.When we are in line I check my phone and realized I got a few messages from Ashely when she was at school.