'V?' Luke said softly.
We had somehow managed to get ourselves out of our hotel room, mostly thanks to the other guys.
And we were now walking through the park.
I looked at Luke as he was staring at his feet.
His hands in the pockets of his jeans as he kicked against a small rock.
'I have to tell you something' he said.
He stopped walking as he looked at me. His eyes worried and filled with guilt.
'What is it?' I asked, my mind already assuming the worst things possible.
'I eh...when the-.' he started, only to be interrupted by Calum.
'Hey guys,' he said, his hand on Luke's shoulder as he waited for the other guys to catch up behind him.
'We were wondering about something' Ashton said, looking at his hands shortly.
'What is it?' I asked, although I still felt numb and empty and I couldn't care less about what he wanted to know.
'We were talking yesterday, and we thought, maybe you'd rather go back home than continue this road trip. But we all know the both of you by now and neither of you would be "selfish" enough to say it. So we figured we'd suggest it instead. We can go back to Sydney if you'd prefer that' Ashton said.
I looked at Luke as he looked at his friends and eventually let his eyes rest on me.
'What do you want to do?' Luke asked, taking my hands in his.
Just the thought of leaving this place caused my heart to drop in my chest and a slight panic to take over. The lump in my throat grew bigger but I swallowed it down.
I hadn't cried since earlier that morning and I was determined not to cry for as long as I could keep it in.
Luke, who saw me struggling, quietly pulled me in a hug and our conversation continued in soft whispers.
'I don't want to leave' I mumbled, blinking away the tears.
I noticed how my belly wasn't in my way anymore when we hugged and it hurt, it was as if my own body and my own mind were mocking me, constantly reminding me of what I didn't have anymore.
'I know,' Luke replied, his strong hands drawing little circles on my back. 'But we can't stay here forever. We'll have to go back eventually, the question is, do you want to go straight home or finish the road trip?'
'What do you want to do?'
Luke smiled, pressing a kiss on top of my head.
'I'm going wherever you're going'
'That's not an answer'
'I know it's not. But I'm leaving this up to you because when I was standing on the side-lines trying my best to support you, you were the one going through it all. So I want you to decide. You take us where you think you'll start healing faster,'
I lifted my head off his chest, looking in Luke's bright blue eyes.
'Wherever it is you feel the safest and where you feel like you're able to slowly start seeing things from a better perspective again because that's what it's going to be about eventually. That's what we have to get back to. We need to start seeing the good things'
I frowned 'How is having our daughter dead ever going to be a good thing?'
'It won't and that's not what I meant. I meant in general. We have to eventually start focusing on the good things again but I want to do it your way'
I sighed, looking at the guys who were waiting for us a little further away, giving us some space to talk about this.
'Let's just take some time to think about it' Luke said, causing me to look back at him.
I nodded, unwrapping my arms from his waist and slowly starting to walk back to the other guys.
'Maybe we should continue the road trip. If we don't we'll just be sitting at home doing nothing, I don't think that'll make things any better.'
Luke nodded in agreement before we reached the other guys.
They looked worried, probably since the both of us looked like we hadn't slept a lot in the last 2 days.
Which we didn't since neither of us could stop crying long enough to fall asleep.
During the day, Luke and I both had this guard up, making it seem like we weren't on the verge of crying all day long. But at night, that guard would go down.
It would be just the two of us, in a dark room, cuddled up in bed and we would talk, or in this case cry, until we fell asleep.
'We don't need the answer right away, just take some time to think about it' Michael said, as we slowly continued walking again.
Luke and I nodded, not in the mood to talk more than we had to.
YOU ARE READING
To the moon || Luke Hemmings
Fanfiction'So where are we gonna go then?' I asked. 'To the moon' Michael said, pointing at the moon right in front of us. ~~~~ This is the sequel to Outside, so read that first if you haven't already :)
