To the moon || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 68

'Okay' I said, as I swallowed my last bite of pizza.
'You were right, we should probably talk about this now'
Luke looked up at me and nodded.
We were sitting on the chairs that stood by the table. We had moved them to the middle of the living room to prevent that we would touch the table.
'I just don't really know where to start' I continued. So many things had happened throughout the last few weeks. I didn't know exactly where we started going downhill or when I realized that we were. All I knew for sure was that, right now, we were sitting in an abandoned cabin with nothing but a few candles to light up the room and 2 empty pizza boxes on the floor in front of us.
'Where did we go wrong?' Luke asked, pulling his fingers through his hair.
I looked at him and thought about his question before replying.
'I guess we went wrong after Lilly...after she passed. I think I started pushing you away first. When we left Perth. I think that's where we went wrong'
Luke nodded, not denying any of the things I just said because we both knew it was the truth.
'Why did you? Why did it feel better to push me away than to keep me close?'
I looked down at my hands. I didn't really want to answer his question but I knew I had to.
'Because, whenever I look at you. I remember when I called you up to tell you I was pregnant. I see the look in your eyes when I showed you the first ultrasound and the way we instantly started thinking of baby names every time we got to our hotel.' I started, the tears burning in my eyes.
'Seeing that hurts. Because she should've still been growing inside my stomach. She should've still been with us and she's not.' I sniffled, whipping away the tears as they rolled down my cheeks.
Luke looked at me before he carefully pulled me in a hug.
'Every time I look at you I see her' I mumbled, my voice growing higher at the end of my sentence.
We were quiet for a little while as I tried to calm myself down.
'Please don't push me away again' Luke said eventually 'I pushed you away because I thought you just wanted space. I was trying to get the both of us through this but it worked the opposite way and it stressed me out because I didn't know how to fix it'
I smiled lightly and lifted my head off his chest.
'I told Ashton the same thing when I knocked on his door at 5am. I didn't know what to do.'
Luke wiped the tears away from under my eyes. 'Why didn't you wake me up?' he asked.
'Because I didn't want to. I didn't think you'd want to me to wake you up'
'You can wake me up for anything no matter what. I might be the guy who wanted to call our daughter Bubbles and who acted like a kid when I felt her kicking. But I'm also the guy who taught you how to swim in New Zealand and the guy who came to pick you up from work because you didn't want to walk home the day I left to go on tour. I'm not the representation of Lilly. I'm one third of the reason she was here. And I'll be one third of the reason another baby might be here one day.'
I smiled and nodded 'Still that part of you reminds me of her a lot'
Luke nodded 'Of course, don't you think I have the same thing with you? But...you know there's more to me than that. I'm not Lilly even though I remind you of her. And I sound like such a douche but I don't know how else to say it. We're seeing each other as her but we're not her. She was us, not the other way around'
I nodded again and wrapped my arms around his neck. 'I'm so sorry I pushed you away' I said.
Luke's arms were resting around my waist as he pulled me closer 'I'm sorry too. We should've just talked to each other instead of assume things'
I smiled and sat up straight 'Probably.'
Looking at Luke, I noticed the little smile that he always had plastered on his face. Reminding me of the smile he had shown me after Lilly was born. When he reassured me that she would be okay.
'I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of her'
Luke frowned and shook his head. 'Stop saying that. You did the best you could. You're not going to make me believe that every other woman on this planet listens to a doctor when they say "You're not allowed to do any heavy lifting". I'm pretty sure everyone keeps doing the things they're told not to do'
I swallowed and nodded before pulling him in another hug.
I sighed in relieve. Finally feeling at home again, feeling as though we could conquer the world together.
'Hey V?' Luke said, a smile evident in his voice.
'Hm?' I replied, not ready to let go of him yet.
'I love you'
I smiled, tightening our hug. 'I love you too'
A loud creak of the door startled us as we looked up.
My heart racing in my chest and my hand holding onto Luke's, not wanting to stop touching him for even just a second.
The door opened, and I send a panicked look into Luke's direction as an old, grey man walked inside.
I suddenly remembered the letter the guys wrote, saying that there was a homeless guy who slept here sometimes.
'Hey,' Luke said as he stood up from the chair and walked to the kitchen.
'We were on a quest to save our relationship and our friends send us here.' He explained as he grabbed the letter and his phone and dropped them both inside our bag.
'I'm sorry for crashing here we'll leave'
We stopped walking in front of the man. He looked at us warily before checking the cabin.
'It's okay' he said eventually 'Did you solve your problems? My name's Steven by the way'
'My name is Ivy,' I said, holding out my hand for him to shake it 'This is Luke and yes, I think we did solve our problems.'
Steven shook my hand with a smile and nodded 'That's great, I'm glad. Would you like something to drink? The tap water doesn't look very drinkable but I'm not dead yet so it's also not poison'
Steven walked further inside the cabin to search for some glasses.
'How about, we buy something to drink?' Luke suggested. 'What would you like?'
Steven turned around and looked at us, his eyes glistening with hope.
'Really?' he asked.
Luke and I nodded 'We can buy you some food as well? Come on let's go.'
'I can come with?' Steven asked.
'Of course! We don't know what you like to eat. Though there's no pans here so we won't be able to cook anything.' I smiled as we walked out of the cabin, wondering how far away the closest supermarket was.
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A/N:
I went to celebrate carnival last night and this random guy came up behind me, gave me a hug and walked off as if nothing happened...still not sure what his reason was behind that...