To the moon || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 57

'V?' Luke asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
I walked out a few seconds later, dressed in my pj's and the make-up cleaned off of my face.
I was ready to crawl under the blankets and stare at the ceiling in the hopes of falling asleep eventually.
'This is really the worst time to ask you this but can we talk now?' he asked, his voice small and soft, as if saying these words too loud would destroy me.
'Yeah, we can' I replied, dropping my clothes on top of our bag and turning around to face Luke.
'What did you want to talk about?' I asked, watching him as he sighed and looked at his feet.
He bit his lip nervously and let his gaze wander around the room.
'Can we...can we just...sit down for this?' he asked.
I frowned slightly and sat down on the edge of the bed, Luke sat down beside me, his hands tightly holding on to each other as he sighed again and looked at his fingers.
'I just need to tell you something,' Luke started. 'Something I should've told you way sooner'
I nodded, looking at his face that was filled with worry, pain and sadness.
There was nothing left of the Luke that used to tell me he loves me forty times a day and I didn't know how to bring him back.
'What do you need to tell me?' I asked, getting nervous just from seeing Luke like this.
'I eh...Well, you don't actually know about this but...usually, when someone dies in the hospital, the family will be called over and the doctor and the nurse that was there around the time the person died will have a talk with the family and tell them what happened and what was going on.' Luke started, his hands were shaking and his voice seemed to grow softer with every word he spoke.
'What are you talking about?' I frowned 'We never had a talk like that'
Luke shook his head 'You didn't, no,' he mumbled, before adding an almost inaudible 'But I did'
'What?' I said.
'The Doctor asked me if we could talk and I told him I'd have to ask you what time you thought would be the best and he just looked at me...and told me I should come alone'
'Why would he say that? Why didn't you at least tell me you were going?' I asked, starting to grow irritated.
'Because he said you had a lot of things to deal with as it is and burdening you with knowing how she died wouldn't make things any better' Luke explained.
'How did she die?' I asked.
Luke looked up at me, knowing his next words would hurt me and would most likely make me bawl my eyes out again.
'She eh...She couldn't get enough air,' he said. 'They would check up on her every 15 minutes but by the time those 15 minutes were over she had turned blue and...she just...they gave her extra oxygen because she was still alive but...it wasn't enough. The oxygen came too late and since her lungs weren't fully developed yet she couldn't take in as much oxygen as she needed'
'So she just...suffocated?' I asked, my eyes filling up with tears.
Luke closed his eyes and nodded slowly 'Basically yeah' he whispered.
I shook my head and looked around the room, trying to find something to calm me down but not finding anything.
'And you didn't think it'd be a good idea to tell me this sooner?' I asked.
Luke looked at me 'If it would've been my decision you would've been there when he told me this'
'But it was your decision.' I frowned.
Luke shook his head but I interrupted him before he could deny anything. 'The Doctor came up to you and told you it would be better if you didn't bring me along. He didn't tell you I wasn't allowed to.'
'He didn't, but he's the doctor and I trusted him to know what was best for you'
'How would that doctor know what's best for me?!' I asked, my voice slowly growing louder as the anger inside of me came bubbling up higher.
Luke looked at me once he realized I wasn't just a little irritated anymore and took my hands in his.
'No, V listen I'm-.' he started as I pulled my hands out of his and stood up.
'How could you think that not telling me this would be the best for me?!' I asked. 'Don't you think it would've been a good idea for me to be there? To know what had happened to her instead of leaving me in the dark? Don't you think it maybe could've sped up this healing process because I had no questions about her death anymore?' I asked, the tears slowly starting to run down my face.
'I do V, I do think that but-.'
'Then why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you at least tell me the doctor was going to explain to you how she died?!'
'Because-.'
'What makes you thi-.' I continued on but Luke interrupted me.
'V!' he yelled 'Please, I'll explain everything but you-.'
'Oh, now you want to talk about it?' I asked, 'You spent the entire week keeping it for yourself and listening to me while I tell you I don't understand how she could've died so suddenly and why the doctor didn't really say anything about it anymore after he called you and you knew! You knew exactly what had happened to her and the doctor did say more about it. Just not to me'
'This I why I didn't tell you! Because the second I sat down in the doctor's office on my own I knew I shouldn't have been sitting there alone and I knew when I would be telling you this it was going to end up in a fight'
'It wouldn't have if you would've told me right after!'
'But I couldn't tell you right after V because you couldn't even stop crying for longer than 5 minutes and I didn't want to make you feel even worse'
I looked at him, I looked at the fear in his eyes and the dark circles underneath them.
I looked at the tears that had started to appear in his eyes and his shaking hands that were rubbing over his face to try and keep himself together.
'Well...' I started, looking to my left where our bed was standing.
'That didn't really work out did it? Because I definitely feel worse now than I did this morning'
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A/N:
When you spent basically the entire day baking and almost forget to update...
Anyway, happy new year to all you lovely people!!