To the moon || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 53

I sighed, watching the guys drop our stuff in the trunk of the car.
We were leaving.
We were going to continue the road trip and I had decided we were leaving today.
Not because I wanted to get out of here but because I knew that the longer we stayed, the harder it would be to leave.
'You sure you're okay to drive?' Ashton asked, handing Luke the keys.
It was his turn to drive and despite the fact that all 3 of the guys had asked him if they should do it instead, Luke wanted to do it himself.
He nodded but he didn't look at Ashton as the cold metal of the keys touched his hands.
'How much did you sleep?' Ashton asked.
Luke looked at him shortly and swallowed. 'Enough to spent at least one hour driving' he replied.
Calum closed the trunk and I watched him and Michael as they walked up to us.
Everyone was being very quiet and careful, as if Luke and I were fragile little dolls that could break in half any second.
'Let's go then?' Michael said, although it was more like a question.
A way to give us one last chance to back out.
I nodded quietly, too focused on keeping my breathing under control, making sure I wasn't going to cry.
The guys all turned around to face the car, opening the doors while I was glued to the ground, looking around as if I was being abducted and I needed to be saved.
The truth was, I did feel like I needed to be saved, I needed someone to get this everlasting grief away from me.
I needed someone to take over because I felt like I wasn't going to survive if this pain kept going on much longer.
I could vaguely hear Luke asking Michael to lead me into the car, in the back seat, knowing I was going to need to hold on to someone as soon as the car started moving.
Michael appeared beside me a second later, taking my hand in his and softly pulling me to the car.
I sat down in the middle, my fingers tapping against my leg as if that was going to stop me from crying.
Luke sat down in the driver's seat and sighed.
The keys tightly clutched in his hands. He looked at the steering wheel as if it was his biggest enemy.
His hands were shaking as he put the key into the engine and started the car.
He placed his hands on the wheel and gripped it tightly, I could hear how his breathing heightened and I could see the way he start blinking faster, trying his best to keep the tears from falling.
He sighed again and rested his head on his hands, shaking his head and softly bumping it against his hands multiple times.
'It's okay Luke, I'll drive' Calum said from the passenger seat, already unbuckling his seatbelt to get out and switch seats.
Luke didn't seem to hear him and lifted his head off his hands, a few tears had slipped and were rolling down his cheeks as he stared at his hands, watching them as they slowly slid down the wheel and fell in his lap.
I watched him, tears filling my eyes until I couldn't see clearly anymore.
Luke got out of the car and despite the fact that I couldn't see it, I could hear him swear and I could imagine the way he was pulling on his hair, walking in circles and breathing with his jaw clenched tightly, trying to pull himself together as everything seemed to crumble down around him.
'I've got it' Ashton said from beside me, quickly getting out of the car as Michael softly wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and clutched a handful of his shirt as I took quick and short breaths to try and keep myself calm but I knew it wouldn't make a difference.
Whenever one of us would cry, it was only a matter of time before the other was going to cry as well.
I blinked away my tears and looked at Luke as he tightly wrapped his arms around Ashton in defeat.
I could hear his loud sobs and hasty breaths from inside the car which only made me cry more.
Michael, as smart as he could be sometimes, wrapped his arms around my waist tighter and placed one hand on the side of my head, covering my ear and playing with my hair around it so that I wouldn't hear Luke cry anymore.
We sat like this for what felt like hours although in reality it was no more than 15 minutes.
I had stopped crying and had closed my eyes, exhaustion finally getting the best of me after I had only slept a total of 4 or 5 hours in the last 3 days.
I could faintly hear the door opening and closing when Luke and Ashton sat back down in the car, Luke sniffling beside me.
I could feel him take my hand in his but I was too tired to open my eyes and crawl over to his side.
I was somewhere in-between falling asleep and being awake.
I was awake enough to feel Luke's touch and to hear Ashton and Calum talking to Luke, trying to distract him when Ashton had started the car and drove away.
But I was far enough asleep to make myself believe that it was a dream, that it wasn't really happening.
I squeezed Luke's hand softly when I could hear him let out a soundless sob, letting him know that, despite the fact that my eyes were closed and he thought I was asleep, I wasn't going to let him deal with this on his own.