Bad Reputation (Shawn Mendes) complete

Chapter 10:

I hear knocking on my hotel door and I already know it's Shawn. "Open the door please" I ignore him ruffling through my suitcase to find my pajamas. "Come on Sam please" he jiggles the handle and I lock myself in the bathroom. I look at myself mascara smeared and red puffy eyes my hair looks like a each mess half straight and slightly curly. I look nowhere near what I usually do. I wipe of my make up slowly crying even more. Why does he even like me what does he see in me.
-
I pull on my pajamas and I reach for the doorknob then I stop. It's moving from the outside fuck how did he get in again. "Please Sam I want to talk to you" how am I going to get out of this. "Go away" I whimper my body lets me down once again and I start to cry again. "Please baby open the door" "don't call me that I'm not your girlfriend" "but you can be I want you to be" I lay with my head pressed against the door. "I don't think so Shawn" "and why not?" "I think we're moving to fast" I can hear him sniff from the other side "then why would you kiss me" I don't want to hurt his feelings but it's too much. "I don't know" I admit "so you don't feel the same way" his voice is cracking and I know he's trying so hard to keep it strong. "No Shawn I do-" "so why can't we be together!" He's getting frustrated. I can hear his foot steps leave the door and I open the door slowly. He stops in his track turning slowly and I can see his tear stained cheeks. "I thought you were different" he whispers before walking out.

-a week later
I can't get my head wrapped around anything. I'm so lost. Shawn doesn't even look at me and our studio sessions are worst. We don't speak he writes and he records that's all. I'm just there to critique his recordings but of course he doesn't listen to me. He's at an interview that he had begged Emily so badly not to do. He's annoyed and frustrated lately he's had a bitchy attitude. "Whatever's going on between you two please fix it" Emily begs me as we watch him through the glass.

Ryan: good morning I'm your host Ryan secrets and today we have the one and only Shawn mendes. So tell us how's the album coming along?
Shawn: it's going good
Ryan: so what about that song writer of yours anything going on between you two?

I can see Ryan elbow Shawn playfully and he smiles lightly shaking his head.
Shawn:no
Ryan:are you sure I could have sworn you guys had a thing?
Shawn: guess you thought wrong

Shawn shrugs looking down at his hands and my eyes tear up.

Ryan : so who's the luck girl you were dedicating your new songs too?
Shawn: no one in particular
Ryan: your kidding there has to be that special someone
Shawn:there is but turns out she doesn't feel the same way

Shawn cough so that he won't cry but it's already too late for me "Emily I'm going to head back to the hotel" "are you okay I'll have micheal take you back" "no it's fine I'll walk it's only 10 minutes" I tell her. And I turn to see Shawn staring at me and then glance away. I walk quickly out the building and walk all the way to the hotel room.

-
I'm back in this hotel room once again. I think this room is driving me crazy. I be tried endlessly to brush my hair straight but it just turns into waves so I give up. It's been hours since the meeting. I didn't bother to listen to the rest of it. I have shawns fans to inform me on what happened. I click on my Twitter app and they all come rushing in. @shawnswife we all know that the mystery girl is his song writer
@mrsmendes that Samantha girl broke his heart
@shawnsbae shawns taking all the blame for her

I feel horrible Shawn doesn't deserve this. I should have been more straight forward with him.
-
I'm currently in front of his room and my heart is about to burst out of my chest. My palms are sweating and I'm second guessing. I need to man up okay a here we go. I knock on his door but I guess he must have stepped out or he doesn't want to answer me but of course I don't blame him. Just as I begin to walk away I hear his door unlock. I turn around and he's shirtless standing at the door with his sweats hanging loosely from his hips hair messy ,he just woke up. I'm trying to find the words to say but even like this he makes me want to drool.

"Hi" I finally manage to say he doesn't say anything. I stand there unsure of what to do. We stare at each other for what seems like forever until he finally moves to the side and let's me in. I walk in slowly and sit on his bed. It feels like I'm in the room with a whole different person. The room is dark and dull just him and I not even the t.v playing in the background to help distract me just silence. He walks up to me slowly with sleep still filled in his eyes and something else....hurt. He's waiting for me to start "you aren't going to sit down?" I ask with a small smile trying to lighten the mood. But his emotions are kept the same he doesn't respond to me only difference is now his arms are folded. I look up at him and I take a deep breath.

"I'm not going to say sorry because I know that's not what you want to hear. But I didn't mean to make you feel the way I did" I try to find other words to apologize. "I Never wanted to hurt your feelings I just didn't know how to deal with my emotions" I can already feel my eyes watering "y-you wrote me those songs a-and I didn't know how to react" I fan my eyes trying to pull myself together. " you put me out there to your fans Shawn that was a big step for you, for us and I don't know if I was ready for that" my voice begins to give out on me.

His face softens but he doesn't move "Shawn it hurt me everyday to see you act so cold towards me, I want to be with you I want to be your girlfriend, I thought we were going to fast but then I realized that I'm falling for you more and more each day and it's always going to be that way.... I just didn't want to believe it, I didn't know how to react I wanted to scream for joy and thank you for writing those amazing song for me but I freaked out I panicked"

"I kept comparing you to him, to Matthew and I wished he would have treated me the way you do and I like you so much.... but I'm just afraid to love you" I'm cry more than I have my hold life pouring my heart out to this boy that I've met only a month ago.

He isn't saying anything and now I feel embarrassed the second I get up he steps closer to me. His hands lightly creep against my cheeks as he wipes my tears. I've been to busy crying to realize that he was too. Within second his cracked lips are pressed against minds. But I didn't mind because they were his lips and he was mines.