Bad Reputation (Shawn Mendes) complete

Chapter 13:

"I am so over traveling" I sigh laying face front on the bed. "You haven't experienced half of it yet this is just the beginning" Shawn sighs playing with my hair. "I don't know how you do it" I say muffling into the pillow. "Neither do I but I put up with it for my fans" I turn on my side "that's why they love you" I smile over at him. "I would hope so" he chuckles pressing his lips to mines. "What was that for?" I ask "no reason I just did it because I can" he smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Have you um... Spoken to her yet?" I ask nervously. And he takes a deep breath glancing over at his phone "I texted her but she hasn't responded yet" he shrugs and I nod focusing on The tv that was playing old episodes of full house. "I might not go anymore" he speaks up. "What? Why not?" I sit up looking at him. "I was thinking about what you said and it doesn't make sense she cheated on me and it was wrong of her to do that in the first place maybe she doesn't deserve to talk to me" he shrugs again.

This is a completely different Shawn "no Shawn don't do that I was wrong " "but I don't understand now you want me to talk to her?" "yes, because I realized how jealous I was being and I didn't want you to do that for her because I know that Matthew would never do that for me" I sigh frustrated. "I-I just wanted him to be like you and I was so angry that he wasn't.... I want him to tell me why he left me , why now and why he didn't tell me before I want to know why he cheated on me in the first place" I say softly "He made me fall so hard for him and I gave him everything and did everything for him but I guess that wasn't enough he just dragged me on for 3 years and I didn't realize it then but none of that was ever real" I feel my eyes fill but I bite my lip holding it back.

"No baby don't cry" he pulls me into his chest and I still try to hold back my tears. "Your one of the strongest people I know you can't let him ruin you" I hold onto him tighter "You have me now and I'm all yours I don't ever want you to feel like no one loves you because I do" I jump a little as he raises his voice. "A-and I want you to feel for me the way you feel about him" I feel so stupid I look at Shawn and he looks like he's about  to cry cheeks red and his voice is cracking. "I love you why can't you see that?" He stand from the bed arms crossed against his chest "Shawn" I plead "what do you even see in him? What makes you so attached to him? He broke your heart and all I want to do is fix it, why won't you let me?!" I feel like an idiot I'm still hung over someone who will never love me the way that the guy in front of me will. "Shawn I-" he hold up his hand at me and at this point he's not even looking at me I stay quiet. "I just want you to remember that he will never be able to love you like I do-" "Shawn Stop it, you know I love you" I tell him walking over to where he stands. "Well I don't feel like it! Your so caught up with this kid and your feelings for him-he doesn't even want you! And he never will he likes men for crying out loud!" I wipe my tear "you don't know that! I was with him for 3years!" "Yea and it meant nothing!" I ball my fist angry and frustrated  "and you meant nothing to her!" I shout wanting him to feel my pain "I meant more to her then you ever meant to him! Atleast our love was real!" That's it he won.

I didn't have a come back because it was true. I stood there quietly wiping my tears every few seconds trying to keep myself together. But I couldn't everything he said was true and that's what made it hurt. I look over as his breathing begins to slow down his face softens and his fist unclench. "Samantha I....." He takes a step towards me while I take one back holding my hand up for him To stop."don't" I barely mange to get out my voice is shaky and my body is letting me down. " I didn't mean it baby" he walks closer to me and I back up until I'm pressed against the wall. "Just leave" I beg "I'm so sorry" he holds my face in his hand resting our foreheads together. "I'm so sorry" he keeps mumbling against my skin pulling me tighter in him embrace.

"I think we need a break" I say pushing him off . "W-what? No Sam I can fix this" "no Shawn" I shake my head "n-no! I can make this up to you!" I shake my head . I shrike feeling his fist collide with the wall beside my head. "Fuck!" He groans running his hands through his hair stepping back a few and I can finally breathe. He is scarring me now. "Shawn stop" I can bearly whisper my voice is hurting me now. "I'm such a screw up!" He kicks the wall throwing the tv off the stand . Thinking he was finished  he started to brake everything in the room. "Shawn stop!" I try to raise my voice but it's just as low as the last time. He bashes the lamp that was beside me against the wall giving him a huge gash in his left hand. I gasp walking over to him quickly and cautiously as he grunt in pain. "Fuck!" He yells. I take his hand softly pulling him to the bathroom.

As I clean his wound I can feel him staring at me. I finally give in and glance over at him. "Sam I-I'm sorry-" "you need to go to a doctor you need stitches this cut is too deep" (haha I really didn't plan that) I tell him holding the towel around his hand. "I need you" "Shawn" I sigh and there's a knock at the door. Thank god someone to rescue me from this madness. I open the door and i see Emily looking concerned. "What's with all the noise?" She ask crossing her arms trying to peak into my room. "Look for yourself" I tell her letting her into the room and her jaw drops. " what the fuck happened in her- Shawn! Oh my gosh what the hell happened" I close my eyes trying to collect my thoughts. "Did you do this to him!" I open my eyes and she's in my face" "get out of my face" I tell her and she doesn't. "If you did you can forget about being on this tour you can forget about everything!" "I didn't do shit!" I yell trying to control my temper " but since you want me off the tour so badly take me off then- or better yet I quit" . "My pleasure" she smirks and Shawn trying to get back up but stumbles in place. "No your not going anywhere" he stops holding his head. "He's getting dizzy losing too much blood get him to the hospital" I say helping him walk to the door and Emily guides him the rest of the way with the Ambulance on the phone.