I WANT HIM, I WANT HIM NOT (MICHAEL JACKSON FANFIC)

Chapter 20

If you look up the word moody in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me. 3 days have gone by since I gave birth and I'm sure some of my moodiness comes from that, but today is also the day I hand my baby over to the Goodsons. As soon as I sign these adoption papers, she's all theirs.
"You agree with everything, Ms.Watkins?" Tonya, the adoption specialist, asked.
"Yes. I especially like the part about them giving me contact and visitation rights if I want."
I continue looking over the papers and Nikki starts to cry. Yes, she has a name. The Goodsons were fine with me giving her a first and middle name. Nicole Arie. I gave her my middle name because we're practically twins, so I wanted her to have some part of me. I put the papers down and pick Nikki up from her plastic carrier. I cradle her against my breast and rub her soft hair. A smile touches my lips as she lets out a small yawn.
"Knock, knock."
I look up and it's Deborah and Gerald Goodson.
"Hey, come on in."
"You got the papers signed?"
"Gerald." Deborah scolded.
I giggle. "No, it's ok. It's fine. Actually, I was getting to it until this one started crying."
They nod in unison. I put Nikki back in her plastic carrier, grabbed a pen, and pick the papers back up. I skim through the papers a bit more, then put my signature at the bottom of the last page. My heart started to ache.
"Here you go." I said, handing the papers over to the couple. "All signed. Now, she's yours."
A big smile spread across their faces.
"Thank you, Giselle."
"There's no need to thank me. I'm glad I can finally provide you guys with a child."
After the Goodsons, Tonya, and Nikki left, I decide to get cleaned up and prepare to leave. Once I've finished getting cleaned up and getting my bags packed, there's a knock at the door.
"Come in."
"You ready to go?"
"Yep." I said, grabbing my bags.
"Let me get those for you."
Nurse Hopper then comes in with a wheelchair. I sit in it and we all head down to the lobby. Jaslene puts my bags in the trunk while I slowly get into the car, then Jaslene gets in. I wave bye to Nurse Hopper and thank her once again for everything, and Jaslene drives off.

"Thanks again Jaslene for picking me up."
"No problem."
The rest of the way was silent, so I decided to turn the radio on and one of our favorite songs was playing. 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' by Cyndi Lauper. I smile while humming the lyrics and I glance over to see Jaslene tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat.
"They just wanna, they just wannaaa. They just wanna, they just wannaaa. Girls. Girls just wanna have fuun." Jaslene sings, quietly.
"When the working, when the working day is done. Oh, when the working day is done. Oh, girls." I join in, quietly.
"Girls just wanna have fuun." We both end in unison, loudly.
We start laughing. All the tension or moodiness I felt seemed to disappear. We arrived at my house, unloaded my things out the trunk, and I immediately got into my comfortable, soft bed.
"You need anything before I go?" Jaslene asked.
"No, I'm good."
"Alright." She kissed my forehead. "I'll talk to you later."
"Ok."
As soon as she left, this uncomfortable silence took over. I started feeling lonely. I decide to turn on the TV so that some of loneliness would go away. I flip through the channels and for some reason everything on is about babies. I turn the TV off frustrated and get up from the bed. I go in the kitchen and clean the dishes that was left in the sink. I then go inside of what would have been Nikki's room. That aching feeling in my heart comes back. I lay in the middle of the floor, hand over my heart, eyes closed, and silently cry. When I open my eyes, it's pitch black and I realized that I cried myself to sleep. I sit up from the carpeted floor, placing a hand to my aching forehead. I slowly make my way to my feet and walk to the bathroom. I turn the light on and open the medicine cabinet to grab 2 aspirins. I grab a cup, put water in it, and swallow the two pills along with the water. I finally noticed my red, puffy eyes once I look at myself in the mirror. No thoughts are running through my mind other than, "Holy shit, you look like hell." I turn off the light, leave the bathroom, and get in bed. It doesn't take long before I'm back to sleep. A week later, I'm getting myself ready for work. I've decided to end my maternity leave early. I call my job to let them know I'm coming in. I put my hair in a messy bun, grab my purse, grab my keys, and head out the door. I get in my car, start it up, and drive off. I make it to the hotel 2 minutes before my shift starts. I walk in and go straight to my manager's office.

"Hello, Mr.Jacobs."
He looks up with a big, confused smile on his face. "Giselle, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on maternity leave."
I furrow my eyebrows. "I wanted to end it early so I could get back to work, they didn't tell you?"
He sighs, frustrated. "They never tell me anything, but I'm actually glad you're here. I've been trying to find someone to take Christine's shift since she called out at the last minute."
"When is her shift?"
"Now. She's been taking over your shift since you left on maternity leave."
"Oh. Let me get to work then."
I go to leave his office when he calls my name stopping me. I turn back around to him.
"Yeah?"
"How's the baby?"
I give a fake smile. "She's fine."
I leave, clock in, and start my shift. 4 hours in, I wipe off the counter, then clean some of the glasses. I tend to some customers who have just shown up.
"Giselle."
I look at Mr.Jacobs. "Yes?"
"Have you taken your break yet?"
"No, not yet."
"Well go ahead and take your break. Deena will cover you."
I grab my purse under the bar, clock out, and head to the hotel restaurant. As I'm about to open the door, some chick storms out almost knocking me down.
"Watch where you're going." She says with attitude.
I bite my tongue and apologize because I really don't feel like fighting. She storms past some more people.
"Bitch." I say under my breath.
I walk in and since the hostess knows me I'm immediately seated. I order a glass of water and a salad. As I'm waiting for my food, I feel a pair of eyes on me. I look and I'm met with those doe brown eyes that I haven't seen in almost a year. I quickly look away and take a sip of my water. My salad comes and I began eating when a sweet vanilla scent fills my nostrils with familiarity. I look up and I can't believe he's sitting here in front of me. I sit here frozen as he gives me that smirk of his. I soon hear him chuckling and I snap out of my trance. Anger soon takes over as I remember what he did to me. I go back to eating my salad.
"So, you're just going to ignore me?"
I continue eating. If he thought I was going to be excited to see him, he has another thing coming.