I WANT HIM, I WANT HIM NOT (MICHAEL JACKSON FANFIC)

Chapter 49

2 1/2 weeks. No drama. I'm satisfied at work and everyone's great. Well, there are two women who keep giving me dirty looks. I don't know who these women are or what I've done to them, but all I do is ignore it. Besides that, I'm happy. I know y'all wondering, what about Michael? Well...what about him? I haven't heard from him and I haven't seen him. I know what y'all thinking: doesn't that go both ways? Yeah, but he's the one who screwed up. And I don't even think apologizing would do. I come back from my morning jog and walk upstairs. I go inside my condo, head to my bedroom, and prepare to take a shower. 20 minutes later, I walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body. I walk in my room, dry off, lotion up, put on a pair of panties, and slip on one of my house dresses. I lay across my bed and go through my phone. I press Jaslene's name. I haven't talked to her since she moved back in with David. After ringing three times, she picks up.
"Hello?" She says, hesitantly.
"Hey, Jas."
"Girl, I was trying to figure out who was calling me. You got a new number?"
"A new phone, too. So, what you been up to?"
"As always, running the club with David. I do have a photoshoot coming up soon."
"I hope everything goes well."
"Same. How have things been on your end?"
I sigh. "Aside from me planning on breaking up with Michael, things-"
"Wait, what? Y'all breaking up?"
"Who's breaking up?" I hear David ask in the background.
"Well, if you must know, Mr. Nosy, Giselle and Michael."
"Oh. Tell her she was too good for him, anyway."
"You heard him?"
"Mhm."
"But you know you got to tell me what happened."
I let out a breath and begin telling her everything from Vegas to Michael's house. She's silent on the other end, which is so not like her.
"Jas?"
She lets out a breath. "I swear you two are...insecure, petty, and meant for one another because I don't know anybody who would deal with either of you." I roll my eyes. "But Elle, you got to let your past go. Because it's ruining your future."
I immediately get upset. "I'm so sick of everyone telling me to let go of my past. Until you've been through what I've been through don't speak on what I should do. But thanks Jas for all of your non-help."
I hang up and throw my phone down on my bed. I don't know why I got upset. Maybe because she's right? But it's hard letting go of something that shaped you. I definitely need some air. I put on a pair of shoes, leave my room and my condo. I walk over to the railing and put my forearms on it with my hands clasp. I sigh, staring ahead of me when I hear my next door neighbor's door opening.

"Oh, good morning Giselle." She says, walking out.
"Good morning, Mrs. Bailey."
"How are you?" She asked, walking toward me.
"I could be better. How about yourself?"
"Taking it one day at a time. So where's that young man who's got you skipping around here?"
I furrow my eyebrows, then I realize she's talking about Michael.
"He's been...busy."
"Mmmm. Well, you hang on to him. He seems like a good one."
"What makes you say that?"
"Intuition. Anyway, let me be on my way."
She walks down the stairs. Someone else who's right. Michael is a great man, and despite what happened, I do love him. It's just he in ways reminds me a lot of Scott, and they both have that one thing in common: a bad temper. And that's what scares me. Two different men with a common denominator. The only thing is they handle it differently. At least I think they do. I mean, I know Michael would never hurt me like Scott did, but how do I know that one day he won't? I suddenly see a familiar car park in a space. Michael gets out of the car and heads for the stairs. I hear his footsteps as he gets closer to my floor. Once he reaches it, he notices me and stops.
"Hey."
"Hi."
We stand in silence. It's obvious we don't know what to say to each other beyond the hellos and I must admit it's awkward.
"Did you get the phone?"
"Yeah, it's much better than mine was, too. Thank you."
He nods. "Can we go inside...to talk?"
"Sure."
I walk to my door and go inside with Michael following behind me. I close the door as Michael takes a seat at the table.
"You want anything?"
"No, I'm good." I nod and take a seat at the table, as well. "I know we haven't conversed in almost 3 weeks, but I did have my reasons. I needed my space and time to reflect. However, I thought I did nothing wrong. That you should be the one apologizing for putting me in that situation with Markus. I see now that I was an asshole to think that. It's nobody's fault but Markus'. But there was one image I couldn't get out of my head. That terrified look in your eyes when I stepped to you. I know you've had issues in your past relationship, but that's something I hope to never see again. And I apologize baby for making you out to be something you're not, for causing you any trauma, or hurting you in anyway."
Now I'm starting to feel bad for wanting to break up with him. Which is making this even harder, but I need to be honest with him.
"Your apology means a lot to me. I was deeply hurt by the way you acted and treated me. But I've spent these past weeks contemplating us. And I've decided I'm not dealing with another accusatory, temperamental relationship. I just can't and won't put myself through that again."

"What are you saying?"
"What I'm saying is...maybe we should end things."
He stands up. "So once again I'm paying for another man's mistakes."
"No." I say, standing up, too. "I feel it was a mistake getting together in the first place."
"Our love was a mistake?"
"I didn't say that. I said that us becoming a couple was."
"You know that's bullshit. We're drawn to each other like magnets." He's right. We've always had this strong attraction to one another, even when we were with other people. "And I don't know why you're acting like we have this tumultuous relationship. We hit one bump in the road and you're ready to bail?"
"This wasn't just some bump in the road like a petty argument. This was something more. Something that I've thought long and hard about. And that's why I thought it was best we break up." I can see the hurt and anger in his eyes before he looks down. "I will always love you, Michael."
His eyes snap up at me. "Don't give me that. If you really loved me, you'll be making things work with me, right now."
"Meaning what? Me lying on my back, hips spread?"
"Any way you want."
I look away from him. He's making me conflicted, again. And I hate it. Here I was sure about my decision to break up; but now, I'm not so sure.
"I don't know." I whisper. "This whole thing has my mind all over the place."
"Then let me help you put that at ease. You love me, right?"
"Of course."
"You want me, too, right?"
"Who wouldn't?"
"So what's the problem?"
I look down. "I'm scared."
He sighs, siting down again. "Come here." I walk to him, standing in front of him, still looking down. "Look at me, baby." I look up at him. "You don't have to be scared. I would never hurt you."
I've heard that line before, but when Michael says it, I actually believe it. And I'm unsure if I should. I feel Michael put his hands on my hips and I give him my attention.
"If you don't believe me, then let me show you."
I nod my head. Michael slowly reaches up to my dress straps, pulls them down, exposing my bare breasts. I remove my arms from the straps and Michael leans forward, kissing my navel. I close my eyes briefly enjoying the feel of his lips on my skin. Michael stands to his feet and starts unbuttoning his shirt as I pull my dress and panties down, tossing them to the side. I start unbuttoning Michael's pants as he throws his shirt aside. He removes my hands from his pants and finishes taking them off along with his boxer briefs, throwing them as well. He picks me up and walks over to the island, sitting me on it. I hope I don't regret this. But there is something nagging at me.