I WANT HIM, I WANT HIM NOT (MICHAEL JACKSON FANFIC)

Chapter 53

"Try eating this, Giselle." Jaslene says, handing me a bowl of soup.
The smell hits my nostrils and I get nausea. I run to the bathroom and vomit in the toilet bowl. I sit on the floor, holding onto my stomach as it starts to cramp. Jaslene stands in the doorway with her arms folded, looking down at me.
"What?"
"You wanna know what I think?" She asked. "I think you have another bun in the oven."
I roll my eyes. "I'm not pregnant, Jas."
"The fatigue, nausea, cramping, the symptoms are all there, Elle. They've been showing since we went Christmas shopping a couple weeks ago. And have you even had your period yet?"
I think about it. "No. But that's just stress, Jas. Stress can make you sick and effect your period, too. It's not uncommon."
"Ok. Fair point. But if you're so sure it's just stress, take a pregnancy test to prove me wrong then."
I get up from the floor. "I don't have a pregnancy test. Sorry."
"I do."
She leaves the bathroom, then comes back with one in her hand.
"You just carry this around with you?" I ask, taking it from her.
"I had a pregnancy scare, so I brought four test. This one I didn't take."
I'm staring at the box. "Alright, leave so I can take it."
"Have fun." She says, closing the door.
I open the box, take out the stick, and urinate on it. I sit it on the counter, wash my hands, then leave the bathroom.
"How long is the wait?"
"5 minutes."
Jaslene goes to the kitchen to grab the timer and sets it on 5 minutes. As the minutes go by, I wring my hands. I'm scared. If it's true-wait. I'm not pregnant, so what am I so nervous about? Jaslene is really getting into my head. The timer goes off. My heart stops and I sit frozen.
"Come on, Elle."
I slowly stand and I walk to the bathroom like I have cement blocks for feet. I look down at the test and there's one line showing on the screen.
"W-What does one line mean on the box, Jas?"
There's silence and I look over at her.
"You're pregnant!" She squeals, hugging me.
Unlike Jaslene, I'm angry more than anything about this news. I storm out of the bathroom and go to my wallet. I pull out a twenty dollar bill and give it to Jaslene.
"Buy me as many pregnancy tests you can with this."
"But Giselle-"
"Just do it, Jas."
She nods, grabs her keys, and leaves my condo. I start pacing. No way this is happening, again. I can't be pregnant. This can't be true. About 10 minutes later, Jaslene comes back.
"I got every brand you could think of."
I take the bag from her and go in the bathroom. I take all the tests, and just like the first one, they all say either a plus sign, the word pregnant, or one line. I mope out of the bathroom and Jaslene comes up to me.
"I'm pregnant." I whisper.

A tear falls down my cheek and she wraps her arms around me, comforting me.
"It's going to be ok, Elle. I'm here for you. And just think, this could be your second chance."
I pull away from her, shaking my head. "Not like this."
"What do you mean?"
"I was supposed to be in a relationship, possibly married, before even thinking about pushing out another kid. And look at me...single and me and the father of my child are no more. It's like history repeating itself." I sigh, sitting on my bed.
"Giselle, you gotta think more positive than that." Jaslene says, sitting next to me. "Yeah, you're in a tough situation, but you're not alone."
"I know. I just feel so stupid for letting this happen again."
"Well, the first time wasn't really a choice."
"And neither was this time. I was careful. I made sure I was taking my birth control."
"Did you miss any days? Cause this can happen if you do."
"No, I didn't miss any."
It goes quiet.
"So, what's your plan?" I shrug, looking down, playing with my nails. "Are you going to tell Michael?"
"He made it very clear he doesn't want anything to do with me, so why should I?" I asked, looking at her.
"Because he's the father of your child."
"And?"
"And he has a right to know."
"Well, I didn't tell Scott about Nikki."
"That's not even the same thing."
"With the way things are going it certainly does feel like it. And I've already made up my mind that I'm not telling Michael. So stop pressuring me to do so."
"Nobody's pressuring you. But let's say you have this baby, and 3, 4 years later the kid starts asking about his or her father. What are you going to tell him or her? 'I'm sorry, baby, but I never told your father about you so he doesn't know you exist?' Are you really willing to do that, Giselle? And what about if Michael finds out? If you think he hates you now, what do you think he's going to be like when he knows you secretly had his kid? So you see, I'm not trying to force you to do anything. I'm just trying to save you from an even messier situation."
I wish she was wrong about this, but as always, she's right.
I let out a breath. "Alright. I'll tell him once I make an appointment and find out how far along I am."
She smiles. "Good choice because I wasn't going to stop until you gave in."
"I know you wasn't."
We sit in silence.
"I've noticed something...you're far more willing to have this baby, then you were when you were pregnant with Nikki. Why?"
"One word: Scott. I hated and still hate that he's her father."
She nods. "So, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"
"It doesn't matter. As long as my baby is healthy."
"And I'm sure that baby will be beautiful. There's no way two pretty people like you and Michael could miss."
"You never know, it's possible."

"I doubt it."
I give a small smile. Now that I think about it, Michael and I do have some good genes, and I wonder whether our baby is going to look like him or me. I wouldn't mind if this baby looked like him...unless... Suddenly, I start thinking the worst and I began crying all over again.
"What's wrong now?" Jaslene asked, concerned.
"What if Michael denies this baby? What if he accuses me of getting pregnant on purpose? Like some sort of a trap? I don't think I can handle that."
Jaslene rubs my back, trying to calm me down. "If he does any of that, then fuck him. You don't need him. You have David and I. I told you everything was going to be ok and I meant that."
I sniffle and wipe my tears away. She removes her hand from my back and I look at her.
"I'm being silly, aren't I?"
"It's perfectly natural to be worried, Giselle. This is baby number 2 for you. Hell, I'll probably be pulling my hair out." I give a slight giggle. "But if Michael is the man I think he is, he won't leave you hanging and he'll take care of his responsibility." I nod my head. "So there's no need for you to be worried."
After an hour or so of hanging out, Jaslene decides to leave. I make an appointment and get myself ready for work, which was a mistake. Jaslene's little talk helped for the time being, but my worries crept back and I couldn't concentrate at all at work. It didn't go unnoticed, either.
"Girl, you've been out of it all day." Chelsea says, sitting down with her food. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really." She nods and begins eating her food. "I'm pregnant."
Chelsea looks up, eyes wide with excitement. "Congratulations!"
I shake my head no. "By my ex-boyfriend."
"I know y'all not together, but is that a bad thing?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
All Chelsea knows about Michael and I is that we were dating, then we broke up. She doesn't know the details and I like to keep it that way. I mean, Chelsea and I have become friends, but she's not Jaslene.
"He hates me."
"Oh. But I'm sure once you tell him that could change right? I mean, even if he still hates you, he wouldn't take that out on an innocent baby, would he?"
"I guess not. I'm just scared, of his reaction, you know?"
"Who wouldn't be? Especially since y'all break up was bad. But I'm sure y'all would work it out somehow."
"And if we don't?"
She stares at me for a couple of seconds. "Then you got me. I know we aren't at the best friends stage, but I think we've grown pretty close over this past month."
I give a small smile. "Thank you." She nods and goes back to eating her food. "And Chelsea?" She looks up at me. "Keep this between us, ok?"
"Of course. I won't utter a word."
After our lunch break, I'm able to focus a little bit more on work than before and I make it mistake-free to the end of my shift. As soon as I got home, I wasted no time stripping down to my bra and panties, and putting on my big t-shirt. I snuggle under the warm covers. This has definitely been one tiring day.