I WANT HIM, I WANT HIM NOT (MICHAEL JACKSON FANFIC)

Chapter 25

Chris and I have been going steady for 2 months now and I've never been happier. I guess a good man, no wait...a great man and a healthy relationship would do that to you. Though I hate that we have a long distance relationship, we make it work. Honesty, trust, and love is what keeps us going. Right now, I'm meeting with the Goodsons to discuss my change of heart. After my first visitation, I've been wanting Nikki back for awhile now and I think it's time they've heard.
"Baby?"
"Huh?"
"Are you listening?"
"No babe, I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I said, are you nervous?"
"Of course I am. I'm sitting outside the restaurant now afraid to go in."
"Baby, relax. Take a couple of breaths."
I take a few deep breaths.
"Better?" He asked.
"A little. I just can't stop thinking about the fact that I gave them something they've been wanting for years and I'm about to snatch it away."
"I'm sure they'll understand. Just think positive."
"I'll try."
"Good. Look, I gotta go. Let me know how it goes."
"I will."
There's a moment of silence.
"I love you."
I smile. "I love you, too. Bye."
I hang up, letting out a breath. I grab my purse and keys.
"Here goes nothing."
I go inside the restaurant and walk up to the podium. The hostess greets me and I tell her which party I'm with. She leads me to the table. The Goodsons and I exchange hellos as I take a seat. I see they've already ordered something to eat, but I'm really too nervous to keep anything down, so I order a glass of water.
"Water? That's all you want?" Gerald asked.
"Yes. I don't have much of an appetite."
The waitress comes back with the water and I take a sip.
"I want to thank you both for coming today."
"It's our pleasure."
"But there's a reason for this meeting."
"Ok." They said slowly.
"It's, uh, about Nikki." I said, nervously.
"What about her?" Deborah asked.
My throat becomes dry and I take another sip of water. They're staring intensely at me. Just say it Giselle and get it over with, I thought.
I let out a breath. "I want her back."
They stare at me blankly as I stare at them back waiting for some type of reaction.
"No. No!" Deborah says. "You're not just going to come and take her whenever you please. It doesn't work that way and I'm especially not going down without a fight."
"Look Mrs.Goodson, I understand how you feel, but I've bonded with Nikki and I regret giving her up. I thought I couldn't do it. I thought I couldn't be a good mother to her."
"So 2 months is enough time for you to determine whether you'll be a good mother or not?!"
Mr.Goodson tries to calm his wife as some customers look over at our table.
"Yes Mrs.Goodson, I think it is enough time to determine that."
She shakes her head. "You young mother's, if I could call y'all that, are something else." She stands up and looks down at me. "We'll let a judge decide how good of a mother you are. Come on, Gerald."
She walks away and I drop my head playing with my nails. Gerald pays for their dinner, then places his hand on mine. I look up at him and he gives me a light smile. He gives my hands a few pats before getting up and leaving. I sigh.

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"Who in the hell does she think she is?!" Deborah says, slamming the car door. "I don't care if she's Nikki's biological mother! She handed her over to us! I knew we shouldn't have allowed her visitation rights! I knew this would happen! It was evident when she kept visiting 4,5 days out of a week! Every week!"
"Debbie, you have to see things from her point of view. She's young, had an unexpected pregnancy-"
"And whose fault is that?! She should've kept her legs closed!"
"Deborah, that's not fair. You have no idea how she got in her situation, so don't go assuming that she got knocked up by being careless."
"I don't believe it!" She says, throwing her hands up. "My own husband is taking her side?!"
"I'm not taking her side. I'm seeing things from both sides. Yes, we've tried for years to have a baby and nothing seemed to work. Then we finally get one and now the mother is trying to get her back. But Giselle being young and unprepared I'm sure the thought of being a mother scared her. The father isn't around and here she is alone with a baby. Just put yourself her shoes, Debbie."
"I don't care what you say, she's-"
She stops, putting her hand over her mouth.
"What's wrong?" I say, glancing over at her.
"Pull over."
I pull over and she unlocks the car door and as soon as she opens it she lets out everything she ate. I rub her back until she finishes. She closes the door, sighing. I drive back on the road.
"Deb, you've been doing that a lot lately. I think you should see a doctor."
"I'm fine, Gerald."
"Yeah cause not being able to keep your food down is normal." I say, sarcastically.
She glares at me. "Don't start."
"Don't start what? For once I just wish you would listen to your caring, loving husband."
She stares out the window, silently. The rest of the ride home was like that. We pick Nikki up from our neighbors. Deborah takes Nikki upstairs while I make a phone call.
"Dr.Lewis' office, Sandra speaking."
"Hello Sandra, this is Gerald Goodson."
"Oh hello Mr.Goodson, how are you?"
"Fine."
"And how is Mrs.Goodson doing?"
"That's actually who I'm calling about. She's been sick a lot lately and I wanted to make an appointment for her."
Once I finish making the appointment, I head upstairs to Nikki's nursery. I hear sniffling and I go in to find Deborah over Nikki's crib, crying.
"Debbie?"
She looks up at me with red, puffy eyes.
"Why are you crying?" I asked, walking over to her.
"I'm just thinking about us losing her." She sniffles. "I can't see our lives without her."
I wrap my arms around her. "Don't worry yourself. Everything's going to work out in our favor."
She turns around, returning my embrace.
"By the way, I called and made an appointment for you."
"Gerald, I told you-"
"I know what you told me, but I'm concerned. You've never been sick like this before, especially for 2 weeks. Just do this for me, alright?"
She lets out a breath. "Alright, but only because I love you."
I smile. She pecks my lips, then we kiss Nikki and leave her nursery so she could rest. I'm just as worried about losing Nikki as Deborah is and just like her, I can't imagine our lives without our angel, but I'm confident that a miracle will happen.

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"It was horrible, Chris."
"It couldn't have been that bad, Giselle."
"It was. As soon as I told them I wanted Nikki back, Mrs.Goodson let me have it. She said she wasn't going to go down without a fight and to paraphrase here she basically said she'll see me in court."
"Well babe, looks like you have to lawyer up."
"Yeah. And I'm sure once they left she had a few choice words about me. But enough about me, anything happen with you?"
"I'm glad you asked that because I did get some good news."
"Really? What?"
"I'm going to be featured in an art exhibit in a few months."
"That's great, baby. I'm really happy for you. Where is it going to be at?"
"This upscale place downtown."
"Well once you find out the day and time, I'll make sure I'm free so I can cheer my man on."
I giggle. He sighs.
I furrow my eyebrows. "What?"
"I wish I was there celebrating this moment with you." He says, sadly.
"Aww, I wish you were here too."
I finish my conversation with Chris and decide to go out tonight to clear my mind of what happened today. I go in my room closet searching for something to wear. An hour later, I brush off my navy blue and ivory jumpsuit while checking myself out in the mirror. Damn, I look good. I grab everything I need and head to the club. I pull up to the valet and my stomach drops. Getting out of the limo ahead was Michael and a few other guys I didn't recognize. I was about to leave, but the valet tapped on my window causing me to jump. I get out and hand my keys to him. I go inside and make my way through the crowd, heading straight for the bar. I order a bottle of water. I take a look around the place while bopping my head to the music. A few guys come up to me and try to buy me drinks or asked to dance, but I politely turned them down. I get up to go to the restroom. I squeeze past people on the dance floor when straight ahead I see Michael and the group of guys laughing, talking, and drinking. I freeze. I hope he doesn't see me, but just my luck, the restrooms are headed that way. I let out a breath. Ok, Giselle. Time to put your big girl panties on. I walk past their section with no problem. I use the restroom, wash my hands, and fix my hair and everything before leaving. I walk back past the table and Michael wasn't sitting there, but one of the men stopped me.
"Yes?"
"Though you probably hear it a lot, you are so beautiful. I just wanted to tell you that."
"Thank you."
I was about to walk away when he stops me, again.
"What's your name?"
"Why?"
"Just making conversation."
"Giselle."
"Giselle." He repeated. "Beautiful name for such a beautiful woman. Right fellas?"
They all agreed.
"Since I told you my name, what's yours?"
"Claude." He answered.
He introduces me to some of his other friends and I say hello.
"Well Claude, it was nice meeting you, but I gotta go."
"Wait, how about you sit with us?"
"No thanks."
"Oh, come on, please." He begged. "We need some beauty over here."
I was about to respond when a familiar voice beat me to the punch.
"Claude she said no. Why are you harassing her?"
"I'm not harassing her. I'm just being friendly."
"Go be friendly with some other woman and leave her alone."
He looks between us and stands up. He walks away, angrily. Michael shakes his head.
He looks at me. "I'm sorry about him."
"It's ok. I've been getting hit on like that since I came."
"I guess that's the struggle of us pretty folk."
"Yeah, well, it shouldn't be."
"I do agree, especially for beautiful women." He says, staring deep in my eyes.
Usually I'll fall victim under his spell, but I feel absolutely nothing.
"Well, I gotta go. Thanks again."
"No problem."
I walk away and go back over to the bar. I watch everybody dancing, having a good time, so I decide to go out there on the dancefloor. About an hour later, I come back over to the bar taking a break. Someone comes next to me ordering a drink. I know that voice. I look to my left.
"Can I buy you a drink?" Claude asked.
"No thanks." I said, looking ahead. "I'm fine."
"Yes you are."
Oh please, not that tired ass line. He drinks his drink and I feel him staring at me. I look at him.
"What?"
"Come dance with me."
"I've already been out there. Maybe later."
"I'll hold you to that."
I fake a smile and when he leaves I roll my eyes. He's so annoying. I hope he doesn't ruin the rest of my night.