"It's Not Love If It Hurts" //5sos

/17/

Bargaining

Annie lay in the middle of the floor in her room, starring at the ceiling. She was wearing a huge white shirt, and no pants or socks.

"Mikey, why did you do it?"

A figure leaned up against the wall; tall, pale skin and red hair. Not purple- red. This wasn't the real Mikey, the true one, just the one Annie remembered.

"Do what?" His voice was salty and deep, like the ocean, like she remembered it. But he knew what she was talking about- you could see from the smirk on his face.

"Why did you rape me?"

He considered the question. "Which time? First or second?"

"Both."

Mikey nodded, standing up a little straighter against the wall. "Because I love you."

The words don't match up with his lips. Because he isn't saying this, he isn't here, Annie is just imagining it, but the words are true. That's why the words sound different- they are true, he actually said them to her.

"What can I do to make it go away?" Annie asked. "Just make it go away, just make it stop!"

She wasn't talking to 'Mikey' anymore, he was gone. She was talking to the ceiling, talking to the dark sky above the house and anyone beyond that, anyone who might be listening.

"Do you want me to be a better person? Be nicer to Calum? What?"

No response.

"I could eat more protein! Is that what you want? I'll eat all the protein! I'll eat so much protein my doctor is worried about me! He'll tell me go stop, but I won't, because fvxk the doctor! Is that what you want? I don't care, just make it stop-"

"Annie?"

"God?"

"No, Calum."

Annie looked over to the door, where Calum was peaking in through.

"What?"

"Who... who were you talking to?"

Annie shook her head. "No one."

"Sure..." Calum shuffled a little uncomfortably before remembering his purpose for being here. "By the way, breakfast is ready."

So she got up and went into the living room, sitting across the coffee table from Calum. Perhaps it wasn't normal- perhaps they should be sitting at the kitchen table instead. But this felt right.

Calum handed her a bowl of cereal and sat on the other side of the table, taking a bite and talking. "I was wondering if you thought you were ready to take the next step."

"The next... step?"

He nodded. "Let's go to a restaurant. Get some fast food, give you an pheromones opportunity to get out of the house."

She nodded, glad he was talking about her recovery, not their 'relationship', or lack therefore of.

"I guess I'd be willing to do that. When do you think?"

"How about lunch today? We can get some trash food at McDonald's."

***********************************

Annie was definitely reconsidering.

"It's okay if you need more time. We have all the time in the world." Calum reassured.

But that was a lie. They didn't have all the time in the world- Calum rarely had days off, and besides, they were both starving. Annie needed to get through the danmed door so they could get in the car and just leave! What about that was so difficult?

I wish this didn't have to happen. What I wouldn't give....

"Annie, just one foot in front of the other. I'm here, nothing will happen to you."

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have jumped through the elevator doors. Is that what you wanted to hear? It wasn't right, if I could turn back time I wouldn't do it. What do I have to do to turn back time?

"Annie, please look at me."

Annie's eyes shot open. Calum was offering his hand to her, to help her.

Why is it so difficult to leave? You've left the house already twice before- this should be nothing.

Annie shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts. She took Calum's hand, and let him lead her out of the house.