"It's Not Love If It Hurts" //5sos

/114/

Warning: Foul language is used in this chapter. People talk about grossy gross stuff. Jokes are made. Viewer discretion is advised. Don't say I didn't warn you.

"It was horrible. Oh God, it was so, so horrible. I swear I wanted to die."

Luke shook his head, digging his hand back in the bowl of popcorn. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"No, it was!" Annie sat up more, smoothing down the dress over her legs. She had to wear a flowy white dress for her audition, but it wasn't the best for laying in bed. "It hate auditions. I always have. Even in high school, I hated them. God, they're awful. I had to go on stage and act out these lines, while these people judged me! It was so uncomfortable."

  After Calum had left for work that morning, Annie slept the day away. Only right before he came home did she wake up. He'd then driven her to her auditions, which Luke picked her up from, bringing them back to the boys flat.

Luke gave her a weird look. "But... you were on stage."

"Which was why it was so awkward."

"Nevermind. You're weird."

Annie opened her mouth to repond, but decided she didn't want to get into that argument. "Fine. But you have no idea, it was soo uncomfortable."

"Oh I'm sure you'll explain it to me in vivid detail."

Annie smacked his arm, not bothering trying to be light.

"Oi, what was that for?"

"You're being an ass."

"Well I'm pissed. I'd prefer Calum be here, not you. Everyone else might think that it's the same, but it's not."

Annie crossed her arms, leaning back against the pillows. "It's no picnic for me either. It feels like everyone's given up on my relationship with Calum. Instead they ship me with... you." Annie and Luke looked at each other, both shuddering.

"Good. Maybe you two'll break up."

Annie rolled her eyes. "Please. If we break up, it'll be awkward 'cause I'll still be one of your handlers. And you still wouldn't be allowed to date Calum. Johanna's pretty insistant on that whole 'illusion of attainability' thing."

"Speak for herself. Me and her have something in common. We both lost our fuck buddies."

"I don't know," Annie said, remembering back to what Johanna had said about John to her. "I'm not sure if they did the dirty or not."

"They totally did. You shouldn't seen them, some days. Michael thinks he heard them doing it in a bathroom once."

Annie groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. "Gross. Remind me again, who's your fuckbuddy you're loosing?" It was obvious, but Annie asked anyways.

"Calum," Luke grunted. "You've put me in a really awkward situation, Annie." He glanced at his crotch, as if mournful of the times when Annie wasn't in the picture and he and Calum could fuck in peace.

Annie looked at her nails, bored. "Gosh, if your that desperate then by all means, pull your trousers down now and I'll help you out."

Luke considered it, before shaking his head. "Nah. You're a girl. It wouldn't be the same."

"Oh. You thought I was serious."

"If I'd said yes you would've been on your knees without any questions asked."

"And why would that be?"

"Because you used to be a fan. Trust me, the instincts are still there."

Annie shoved him lightly, but didn't argue the point any further. "Fine. Then if you're so desperate, why don't you go walk yourself over to a gay bar and find some other lonely sap to blow in an alley?"

"You know why."

"Because alleyways are unsanitary? Hey, no kink shaming here."

"Because-" Luke started, pushing the empty bowl of popcorn to the side, "-if someone saw, they'd take a picture. Boom. Johanna would lock me in a cellar and throw away the key."

Annie snorted. "Yes, that's the only thing wrong with that statement. Fine, if you're so needy and you can't find someone else, then why don't you just ask Ash, or Michael? It sounds like you've been with all of them anyways."

Luke gave her a look, like 'seriously?' "They're not going to want to."

"Oh, sure they will." Annie turned to the open door, calling loudly down the hallway, "Ash! Come here!"

Slow steps echoed in the hallway, and Ashton appeared in the doorway, looking up from his phone.

"Luke here is in need of some help You down?"

Without looking up, Ashton muttered "ask Mikey" before leaving just as quickly as he came.

Frustrated, Annie called Michael's name, waiting for him to make an appearance. "Brilliant. Michael, Luke has a boner, can you help him out?"

Michael glanced at Luke's crotch. "What kind of boner is that?"

"The kind you get to make yourself," Annie replied, a little uncomfortable with Michael staring so intently at Luke's crotch. "You down?"

"Why can't you?"

"He said it'd be weird with a girl."

"It'll be weird either way."

Michael shook his head. "Nah, not today. I'm not feeling it."

He turned to leave, but Annie quickly called out. "Wait! But on another day, you might?" He responded with a shrug, actually leaving this time. "See? I told you you're buddies would be able to help you out."

"I don't want my buddies." Luke whined. "I want Calum."

"Yeah yeah, we've gone over this. I've given you options. Michael will do you, with some convincing, and you might even catch Ashton on a good day. Boom. All the sexual frustration relieved. Now, can we move on?"

Luke gave Annie a weird look. "Get on your knees."

"Fuck off."

He just shrugged, like he was expecting the reaction. "I was just seeing if your primal fangirl instincts would kick in or not."

"Just because you tell me to get on my knees doesn't mean I'll listen."

"I bet if I were Calum you'd listen."

Annie felt her cheeks growing warm. "Probably. But he is my boyfriend."

Luke sighed nostalgically. "There is that."

A/N:
It's late and I'm tired but I'm writing this weird inappropriate story anyways.
Update: Can someone give me some recs for good 5sos fics to read? Mama needs some inspiration