"It's Not Love If It Hurts" //5sos

/104/

  "Sometimes, I want to punch you."

  The playground was abandoned. It was the early, early morning, just light enough for the clouds to be tinted with the sunrise and just dark enough for the shadows to remain hidden. Annie and Michael sat on the swings- they rocked back and forth gently, staring forwards to avoid looking at each other.

  Annie had actually asked him to meet her here. She decided that it was an important part of her recovery- facing him head on, and making a change. She didn't want to be afraid anymore.

  He snorted. "I'm surprised you only want to punch me. Back in Colorado, it seemed like you wanted to kill me."

  Annie put her feet on the ground, halting the swaying of her swing. It squeaked loudly, but Michael continued to swing lightly. "Fine," Annie agreed, after a pause. "Sometimes, I want to kill you?"

  "Sometimes?"

  "Yes, sometimes." She snapped, before cooling down. "Sometimes I think of other things."

  He sighed quietly. They both had deep set eyebags from waking up so early, though they had both agreed this would be the best time. They had both snuck out to come here- Annie didn't really want Calum to know, and Michael didn't want the others to know.

  The point of this bitter early morning meeting was to make an agreement. Annie wanted to be better, and Michael wanted to be free from the guilt that had been eating him ever since he found out that Annie was still recovering. He hadn't intended for his actions to have such a tremendous impact.

  Annie cleared her throat, trying to get back on track. The sooner they could get this over with, the sooner she could go back home, crawl into bed with Calum, and sleep the rest of the day away. But sometime told her this wouldn't be quick.

  "If you ever try something like that with me again, I swear I will kill you." She announced, the words hanging in air. "So far my morals and the situation have kept me from getting you in serious trouble, but I have no more qualms. I don't want to go through that again- I refuse to. So,just so you know, if you ever try something like that again I will kill you."

  Birds tweeted in the trees, just waking up. Annie's shoes crunched against the wood chips underneath the swing. Michael's swing squeaked as he rocked on it.

  "I'm fine with that agreement," he stated with finality. "I promise I won't do it again."

  Annie wasn't sure what came next. She wasn't expecting that response. In all honesty, she'd spent most of the night pacing, coming up with big words and firm arguments. And now, he was just... agreeing?

  "Okay." She said.

  "What?"

  "I said okay. That sounds okay. I don't want to be doing this anymore."
  Michael slowed down his swinging, looking forwards as if looking for an answer in the trees surrounding the park. "Why'd you want to meet me, Annie."

  Her name on his tongue caused a shudder to ripple through Annie, not ready. "I don't want to have to recover anymore."

  "You don't want to hurt Calum?"

  "I also don't want that." Michael scratched on the back of his neck, waiting for Annie to ask him the inevitable question. "But why are you here?"

  "Because you asked," he responded immediately, the words getting caught in his throat.

  "No, why are you really here."

  He paused, licking his lips. "I'm not a monster. I didn't think it'd effect you so much. I didn't even think it was a big deal. But..." Annie waited for him to go on, but he seemed to be having trouble getting the words out. "But... I guess it has effected you."

  She wrung her hands in her lap nervously. "You're sorry?"

  He inhaled sharply. Michael had trouble saying that word, but he supposed it was true. "Yeah." He agreed, after a moment. "I guess I am."

  Annie stood up, and Michael followed her lead. "I... accept your apology."

  "I accept your threat," he countered, and they shook hands. "But really... I am sorry Annie."

  It was retorical. He was looking for no response, so Annie didn't give him one. But this time, she noticed that when he said her name, she didn't shudder. It felt natural. And, for once, Annie was able to look at him and see something different from what she had seen for months upon months.

  He was a boy, with dyed purple hair that was going to fall out any day now. He had pale skin, and slightly hallow eyes. His pants clung to his legs, but his shirt hung loosely off his shoulders.

  Annie no longer saw him as a monster. For once... she saw him as a human.