God Bless The Broken Road (Jonathan Toews)

Guardian Angel

Maisie

Going into December things were a lot smoother. I wasn't worried Jonathan would say the wrong things around Jackson or that I would say something I shouldn't in front of him. I could just be myself, and that was pretty cool. After the circus trip ended the Hawks had a lot more home games where their time was spent here which meant I got to see Jonathan more. It's hard knowing he isn't here sometimes, but when he is here it makes a world of difference. All the things I was afraid of happening were, but I wasn't scared of love anymore. For the longest time that's all I wanted and now I have it. Jonathan is a lot of things to me, but as far as I can see, he is my everything. Jackson only calls him dad now and Jonathan finds himself calling him his son, how I wish that were true. But everything that I was initially afraid of has gone away. Jonathan was my guardian angel, there's no other way to put it.

"So, I'm going up to my parents for Christmas and we would really like it if you and Jackson would join us" he starts as I make us dinner.

"We" I ask.

"Well yeah. I told my parents all about you. Well not all about you, but you know what I mean. You come up more times than not in our phone conversations and I've emailed them some pictures. They want to see you for themselves, if you would like" he trails off.

"That sounds really cool" I admit and he smiles. I've heard stories about his parents, I would love to be like his mother because she obviously did a great job with Jonny. It's a little intimidating but I've always wanted to go up to Canada and it would be a great thing for Jackson to continue growing. I make everyone's plates as we gather around the table for dinner. Even when I'm not working I'm still cooking... of course. Patrick and Nicole joined us for dinner as we just talked about the upcoming holidays.

"Are you excited for Christmas" Jonathan asks Jack as he sits in his booster seat just swinging his legs back and fourth. I was just hoping the food makes it in his mouth this time, he's already taken a bath today.

"Is that a actual question? Yes" he yells practically jumping out of his seat. He was one hyper-active kid. Once he gets comfortable around people there's no stopping him.

"How would you like to spend Christmas in Canada" Jon asks and Jackson raises a eyebrow.

"What's a Canada" he wonders causing us all to laugh. Patrick enjoyed that maybe a little too much.

"A place where I can guarantee that you will be able to play in the snow" Jon promises and the little boy lights up like a Christmas tree.

"Yay! I love Canada" the small boy claims and I roll my eyes. He loves anything with snow.

"So bud, what do you want for Christmas" Patrick asks and Jackson taps his chin curiously.

"Spiderman" he concludes and I had to laugh. Of course he wants Spiderman for Christmas. He goes through these phases and it seems that he likes a new super hero every month. First it was Superman, then Captain America, and for now it's Spiderman. Ive never seen so much red in my life between Spiderman and the Hawks. We finish eating dinner then decide it was time to decorate the apartment. While Patrick and Jackson argue over who gets to put the angel on top of the tree I make us all my famous hot chocolate and softly sing Christmas music to myself. I take the time to look around as Jonny had all the tall people jobs such as lining the wall with lights and hanging snowflakes from the ceiling and Nicole made Christmas cookies beside me. Patrick was holding Jackson as they pestered Jonathan just randomly poking him. This was a nice little life we got going on here. I pass out drinks and help the boys in assembling the tree. We couldn't have real ones in this apartment complex but I didn't mind any, at least I get to have one. After the tree was set up we take our time decorating it. Earlier I had Jackson running around Walmart looking for ornaments and things to decorate the tree with, he did pretty good for a four year old. Jackson got to take care of the bottom row, Patrick and I tackled the middle, and Jonny Long Legs perfected the top. We covered it with garland and lights and a random selection of ornaments. After about an hour we finally finished and it looked great. Jonathan puts Jackson on his shoulders and he secures the angel at the top of the tree. We step back to look at it and all agree that it was now officially Christmas time.

"Smile" Nicole calls out as we all pose for a picture. I look at the camera but Jonathan's eyes find me as the flash goes off.

"I'm going to need a copy of that" Jonny calls out.

"Yeah, me too" Patrick adds. Despite what most people think he is quite the family guy and is great with Jackson. I hope he can have a family of his own one day. I put some of the presents I already had under the tree and the place finally came together. Although Christmas won't be spent here I still like to have it decorated. I didn't celebrate Christmas the first seventeen years of my life so I really appreciate it now. Eventually Patrick and Jonny goes home leaving Nicole, Jackson, and I watching Rudolph covered in blankets. Jackson was secured tightly in my arms as his head rested on my chest. I hated what happened to him, to us. I hate that one day I'm going to have to tell him the truth. I hate that there's still a small chance I can lose him. I hate that when he asks where the scar on his head is from I have to tell him it's a birthmark. But I know I wouldn't have moments like these if it wasn't for all the bad stuff, so maybe, just maybe, it isn't that bad after all.