Sweet Creature

Chapter 49

June 2017~
Gen's POV~

Harry was different....

He was quiet but not withdrawn. I'm not sure how to explain it, he just lost his best friend and he's pretending to be fine but I know he isn't. I was still resting against his chest, the sun had set by now. He wasn't making any moves to touch me. We have only kissed a few times today so I figured with us being alone and the emotional day he's had he would be all over me.

He isn't using me as a coping mechanism.

This is good, this is actually really good. As much as I want his lips on me, he doesn't feel the need to do so because of a loss.

"We should get back Harry." I whisper looking up at him, he hadn't shaved in a few days so he was pretty scruffy.

It looked so fucking good though.(Ya feel?)

He nodded silently, we got up and picked up our things before tossing them in the back of my Cayenne and jumping in. We had about a 45 minute drive back to the campus. Harry didn't say a single word, I just turned on some Coldplay as he looked out the window.

I had no clue what was going through his head and it scared me.

Once we got back to the rehab I parked and we came in through the back door, alerting Tess of course. We walked down the hall to my room, Harry just kind of stood there awkwardly. Almost like he was going to go to his room but I grab his hand, pull him into my room and head for the bathroom.

Harry looks at me confused as I put my purse down and start filling the bathtub before walking over to him and unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?" He whispers.

"Giving you a bath." I reply with a smile as I pull off my sweater and kick off my shoes. Kneeling I take Harry's left leg and pull off his boot then follow suit with the other. He was just standing there absently as I rid my body of my shorts and bodysuit leaving me naked.

He was seeing me completely naked for the first time and he wasn't reacting.

Swallowing my ego I continue my task, knowing that Harry did not mean to hurt me by his lack of reaction. My hands go to his pants, once unbuttoned and unzipped I pull them and his boxers down in one motion.

Harry wasn't looking at me, he was looking past me.

"Baby what's wrong? What are you thinking?" I ask cupping his face, his eyes finally meet mine. They are much lighter then usual and full of sorrow.

"It could of been me, it should of been me." Harry whispers and I immediately know whats going on.

Survivor's guilt.

"Harry you know that's not true, Louis was deep in drugs a lot more then you were plus he smoked." Harry rolled his eyes and looked away from me but I wouldn't allow it. "Harry its was a combination of bad choices HE made that killed him, not you. You know this is true right?"

Harry nodded as his shoulders shook and he finally broke down. Wrapping my arms around him I press my body to his, warming his cold grieving skin.

"Come on the bath is ready." I suggest softly and lead him to the tub, I climbed in first and then helped him in so I was sitting behind him. Harry was quiet while I grabbed my body wash and started massaging his back and shoulders with it. "I know your sad Harry, I know you feel guilty for being healthy and alive but Louis wouldn't want you to feel like this. Hell he'd probably want us to throw a party with all the sparkling cider we could find."

"And tracksuits." Harry whispers as his shoulders relax.

"What?"

"He would want us all to wear tracksuits." He says chuckling.

Breakthrough.

After grabbing a washcloth I begin to wash the soap off of him as I press soft kisses to the now clean skin. Harry surprises me by turning around, pulls me into his lap and kisses me sweetly.

"I want to bring him with us, to Mexico. Can I do that?" He asks thoughtfully.

"Of course Harry. I'll make the arrangements tomorrow."

"I've never been on a plane before." Harry admits.

"It's not my favorite this in the world but it's not horrible, plus I'll be right next to you the whole time." I assure him with a smile and he kisses the tip of my nose.

"I don't know what I would do without you Gen." He whispers while gazing into my eyes.

"Hopefully you never have to." I reply softly before biting my lip. Harry moans and pulls me into him as he reconnects our lips. My fingers tangle in the hair on the back of his head earning a groan and allow me access to deepen the kiss. Our tongues swirl together as I feel him harden between my legs. He detaches our lips and looks down.

"You're naked." He says with his eyes wide.

"So are you." I giggle.

"How did I miss this?" He says looking over my body and biting his lip.

"You were staring off, I stripped right in front of you."

"Fuck I'm an idiot." Harry sighs.

"No, you're just healing Harry."

"Gen I-." Harry looks down and shakes his head. "I really like you, a lot." He admits nervously.

"I like you too Harry, so much it scares the shit out of me." I whisper, gazing into his eyes.

"It's ok... We can be scared together."