The Daily Journal of an Average Teenaged Girl

Spring Break Entry #1

I had no idea what to call this entry. Deal with it.

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Memories! Ohh, they can be nice. And when I was thinking about David earlier today... Something came into mind.. That he doesn't know.

I remember, in my late Freshman year, I had tried asking David out. I tried, and failed, honestly. I was too nervous to do it in person, so, I texted him, "I would ask you out, but I already know the answer". He responded, "Which is..." And I replies with a red hot face of shame, "'No, that's awkward'". And I was right.

I was really feeling stupid. I knew he didn't like me. We had no chance in the first place. Why did I even try? These were all thoughts rummaging around in my head.

I knew for myself, I'm not entirely good when it comes to talking. About my feelings. When the other person doesn't know about them. But I knew I was great at writing! So that's what I did.

I wrote a letter to David. [Which, I'm 98% sure he still has]. It said, basically, that I trust him, care for him, and very happy that I had him in my life. I said, that there are very few people in this world that I can give my trust to. Who I can tell everything without worrying about what they think. That he is one of those few people. I said, that I cared for him deeply. I want him to be very happy, even if it meant leaving me in the dust. I said, that I was very glad to have met him. If I didn't meet him, I wouldn't know what to do. I would feel like a social outcast. I wouldn't be having as much fun in life.

Somewhere along those lines.

I had given it to him on a Friday. And, I didn't get any sort of response until a late start Tuesday. At the time, I sat on the floor, against the wall. I didn't sit with him, Danielle or RJ. We all sat separate.

I remember seeing from the corner of my eye him walking torwards me. Being as shy as I was, I pretended to not notice. And he sat down in front of me. So I just had to look up.

God was he beautiful.

He wanted to talk to me about the letter I gave him. I was shaking on the inside so bad.

He said to me, I'm one of the few people he can trust, that we've come to be very close friends, one of the closets friendships he's had. That he's very happy to have me in his life.

I was speechless. Literally. I knew if I opened my mouth, I would start crying. So I nodded, and he smiles, and he went back to his seat.

I hid my face, and started to cry. Not of sadness, of pure happiness. But, I was bawling. I cried, and I thought to myself, "I can't believe I mean so much to him. He cares! He actually cares for me!"

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So, that's my memory on crying of happiness over David. Maybe he'll force me to read this to him again. Haha. I really don't mind. Just like the letter, it's easier to say what's on my mind by writing it down. It's just really embarrassing for me to read it to him. That's all. I really do like it though.

Well for now,

Keep Smiling!

~Sharpie