The Daily Journal of an Average Teenaged Girl

Entry#6: 9-1-14

So, anyway... It's 11pm, let's write down today's thoughts.

1. That night with David...

2. Mom, Collin...life at home

3. Fuck you David

4. I'm hungry

5. Driving!!!

6. My Pajamas.

7. GODDAMNIT DAVID.

Yes in that exact order. It would be very confusing to explain it in that order too... Huh? Muahaha!

1. That night with David...

So two days ago on Saturday I woke up next to David snoring. (I can already see the shock and confusion on yo faces) I kneed his leg to get him to stop snoring. It wasn't his fault he had allergies. Yes... He was sleeping in my bed. From the night before. YES. We watched the second movie of Back to The Future... AND WITH PERMISSION he slept over. Honestly, I'm quiet glad that we were told to keep the door open. That asshole did some weird things I bet he didn't think was weird when we were cuddling. I love cuddling with him. I feel safe. I'm not sure what I like more though, my arm around his waist and my leg wrapped around his... Or him spooning me, with his arm around me and his knees by my thighs. Both was amazingly comfortable.

2. Mom, Collin... Life at home

Mom is so goddamned stressed. Yes I get it. You don't need to repeat yourself. I'm very busy, and I really don't make dishes or make any room messy. The only rooms that I'm solely responsible for is MY room, and the bathroom! Stop saying you're going to pull me out of band. Honestly, that would be stupid because that would just mean you wasted $100 or more from your pocket. Collin...? Apparently everything is my fault. And I'm a lazy slob. The bathroom is a mess.. That's my fault, yes. But one reason why I don't do dishes when I come home from school at 10PM is because maybe 2 of the 30 is mine. Why should I be doing your work, that YOU could have done when you were home all day, after I spend 8 hours at school running up and down 3-4 flights of stairs.. 2 hours at theatre, and another 3 hours at Marching Band. You think it's fun and games! Yeah, I joined because I wanted to have fun, but in order to have fun, you need to WORK FOR IT. And that's exactly what I'm doing damnit. Stop pinning it all on me. I'm 16. David once told me, "I don't know how you do it." After I vented to him. I told him that everyone goes to me to rant and vent, and when I give advice, they don't listen. I told him that I still listen to mom cry, and I don't know what to do. I told him I'm still suffering from every hardship I've had in the past 5 years... And he told me he doesn't know how I do it. It's days like today, when everyone is breaking down and getting mad... When I ask myself the same thing.

3. Fuck you David

So back to David. Remember how cute #1 ended? Get that out of your head. Because after we were both awake, and on the couch... With my head resting on him, and we were on my phone together.. It was another "cute scene". Except this time Collin and Mom were peering in on us. Collin tried asking if we were 'together' with hand motions. When I shook my head no, slightly aggravated... Mom told him that he just asked us if we were playing football in Sign Language. It was kind of funny... Until Collin pressed David into telling why we weren't together. David used that petty stupid excuse of "We're too good of friends, and I don't want to risk loosing our friendship". I swear to god, you motherfucker, you'll be risking our friendship if you use that fucking excuse again. Dumbest excuse ever. Now I'm stuck here, thinking I'm going to be a cat lady or something. I like 2 of the things my dad told me. One being I should ask to date. Just for a month... And after that we can end it. So that I'm satisfied, and to prove that nothing bad happened. See? And maybe he'd think actually about it. Second... I need a break from him. It's obviously really hard when I see him 4-5 times a school day... But I've done all I can. I've stopped texting him first. I've also gotten rid of the new wallpaper he put of himself on my phone. HE'S the one that put it there 3 days ago. I'm changing it because of HIM. I need a break. I need to be away from him.

4. I'm hungry

My favorite snack right now is hot pockets. Mmmmm. My friends and I joke about how my blood is really microscopic hot pockets. I love hot pockets dearly, they're my fucking life right now! Sad? Eat a hot pocket. Happy? Celebrate with a hot pocket. Bored? Eating Hot Pockets is amazing, right? Hungry? HOT POCKET.

5. Driving!!!!

I get my permit, literally, within 2 day, I'm so excited! I've been paying attention to the road a lot in the past year, and now I'll be controlling everything! It's scary and super awesome! My first day on the road will be on Thursday!

6. My pajamas

Every night I basically have the same pajamas... A t-shirt. Undergarment....aka, underpants! That's all!! I don't like sleeping with pants! Is that weird?? I wear short shorts on occasion... And when there's a sleepover, I wear my baggier pj pants.

7. GODDAMNIT DAVID

I swear to The Lord. I told David that I normally don't wear pants, and he was totally nonchalant, like "yeah ok, then take 'em off"... UM DAVID. I HOPE YOU WOULD KNOW THAT WE WOULD BE DISOWNED. It was a miracle he slept over in the first place. In my bed in the second place. Buuuut I did wear a tank top, with baggy pants. Because I'd be crazy if I didn't try to look kinda cute/pretty when my LOVE OF MY LIFE is sleeping over in MY BED. He admitted it was the most bare skin he'd seen of my upper body. Tis the point. [To be honest, I think I'm lucky that I didn't find my shorts to wear to bed...] I did think it was a bit odd that he thought it would be TOTALLY ok for my to not wear pant. Especially.. Well, he's a guy. And he's been making advances for the past 3 weeks. I'm not making myself even more irresistible. But yeah. No David. I'm sorry. You ain't gettin NOTHIN from me unless you're dating me. And he knows my rules. You can't have any part of my body in any sexual way AT ALL unless we're dating. For a while. Damnit. Stop trying to break that rule you fool. Damn you being so tempting .... I JUST WANT TO DATE YOU IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?? GOD DAMN YOU DAVID. Stop making things difficult.***

***Extra thought***

During a moment of weakness, I was texting Maggie, and we got on the subject if David. She also believes the same thing a majority of others think... But for some odd reason it's stronger coming from her. It's said that David really does want to date me... And he's just afraid to do it. He's afraid of loosing me as not only a girlfriend, but a best friend as well.

~Honestly I think the way Maggie put it was the best, NICEST way I've heard it. Collin has said that He needs to grow a pair. Libby's said that he's being a pussy, and is too aft raid to ask me out. With Maggie... I actually got the warmth of blushy gooeiness of Love to be called the possible girlfriend of David.

Do you see how Maggie put it all in a better sense?

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Okay! To wrap it all up... I'm really happy tomorrow is Late Start Tuesday, and that I get to stay at school til 10!

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Readers... Even when you loose all hope... In the end... There's always something to smile about. Even when that something is the reason for your tears. Never forget there's ALWAYS a reason.

Keep Smiling.

~Sharpie.