The Daily Journal of an Average Teenaged Girl

Entry #58 4-29-14

You know I like numbers, right? According to the information I received yesterday, I have 20% or more chance of being with David. I'm not making up the starting number. The starting number is the absolute lowest my numbers can go.

Numbers!!

I almost didn't wake up this morning, and I was still trying to calm down and catch my breath from yesterday at David's. You can think of whatever you want, I don't care. I am not telling you the details of yesterday! We agreed. Except for the fact that I broke that by telling Libby the minor details. But she's my best friend. That doesn't count.

When I saw my Mom this morning for the first time in a day, I apologized sheepishly for not being home for basically 2 days. And she was like, "Don't worry about it. You're a teenager, you're supposed to be going out every day." I'm not sure why, but that made me a little more than happy. I think I unlocked unknown freedom.

I was on the bus this morning, clearly planning to not stay after school or go to David's house to be respectful, but then I remembered that I had DRUMLINE AUDITIONS TODAY. Plans were ruined for being respectful.

Well, when I got to school, I brought the duct tape that I accidentally took from David's house and gave it back. He forgot to bring my belt back. Oh well. I'll get it eventually.

He brought the last two Pepsi bottles that I bought in Sunday, and we drank that. I was in a good mood. Aside from being nervous about the auditions...!

And boy, did that simple subject disrupt me! Not only could I focus on the test in first hour, but I couldn't focus on ANYTHING in ALL of my classes. My heart was beating at 1,000,000 beats per second. I swear! By the time 10th hour study hall came around, I "forgot" to breathe on occasion. I yawned, like, 27 times.

Fun Fact: The reason of a yawn, is not because of tiredness, but because oxygen supply to your brain is low.

After school, it was audition time! I practiced mostly on the bass drum. I did some practicing on the Cymbals, since I was quiet sure that I had that part of my audition down. And, damn... Let me just say, I did such a terrible job on the bass drum, with too many errors to count. Whereas the cymbals, only counting at max, 2 mistakes.

I swear my face was scarlet red through it all. Oh my lord have mercy. [as of 10:00pm, and no results, I'm still anxious if I made it or not.]

Although I got to come home to a house of, uh, hate. Let's just say Mom and John got into a big enough 'argument' for him to be kicked out of the house. Only for him to return with a gash on his head from hitting it himself.

...

Is it bad that, at this point, I really don't care? Or how about I'm used to this whole fighting causing injuries? Or I'm immune to the sounds of crying?

Although, I still act like a dog when there's a yelling or screaming match. Now, I can't tell you from recent events, but I can tell you this. Last time I shook like a dog, and held my breath, is when there was an argument that included yelling, slamming, and broken glass. I wasn't sure who was shaking more; me or the dogs. I was so scared to move, that I sat were I was for over an hour. This was about 2 years ago.

Even though something like that hasn't happened for a while, I know I still react the same. Because I shake whenever any angry yelling is going on.

...ohh the memories I can share...

So, JUST SO I DONT END ON A NEGATIVE NOTE...

I had texted RJ for a bit, and he was like, "So what's on your mind?" And I'm all like, "Drumline, David, duct tape." And he didn't even bat an eye. He was just like, "LOL, They all start with a D!"

Oh, RJ. You're awesome. I hope you know that.

{So, at 10:10pm I found out I made pit. Which DOESNT MARCH. I don't think I could have been any more pissed, really. That's the one thing I didn't want, and don't even know why I signed up for it....}

Y'all Keep Smiling now, yuh hear?!

~Sharpie