The Daily Journal of an Average Teenaged Girl

Entry#39: 4-10-14

I had a really long and exhausting day today! I woke up to my alarm today, wanting more minutes of sleep. But I eventually got up, ate breakfast for the first time in forever. And I went to school.

I went to my normal spot, and when David and Danielle got there, they looked happy. David looked really tired, but, you know... He's a junior working his hardest. He was a bit concerned for my pain, but he was also too tired to care. He eventually lied down on the floor, using his backpack as his pillow. Part of my wishes that he would use me as his pillow. Because, he too thinks, that I am super comfortable to cuddle and lay on. So instead of being his pillow, I lie down too. Not next to him, or cuddled to him, across from him I guess. Every bit of me wants to cuddle with him, Buuutt that's only for those rare days when he's confused about his feelings forwards me. I like those days. Teehee.

ANYWAY, in math class I got called down to the Social Office place. They wanted me to join an anxiety/depression group of some shit because of a survey I took way back in October. When this woman said that, I wanted to say, "Look bitch, I don't know what I wrote down, but I'm sure as hell I didn't say I wanted help. I don't like therapists, I don't like groups, I don't like none of that shit. So, like, let me skedaddle outta here so you an recruit some other poor sap." But no, that's a bit rude. So I kindly declined the offer.

Later, in band, we got a good laugh. In one of our pieces, some of us are supposed to speak German during the music. And you're supposed to SPEAK it.. Not whisper. So our director gave us an example. He told us all to say, "Hi, my name is... Whatever your name is" so we did. He explains that THAT'S what it means to speak your words. So he pulled out his conductor stick, and said, "At C!" (A marking on our music). An I guess all but one person heard him, because in the silence, you hear, "Hi, my name is....". And everyone laughed. If you're not at least smiling, I guess you just had to be there.

In 10th hour study hall, instead I working on my English Paper that's due tomorrow, like I promised myself, I started to Math. How does one Math? you may ask. That's when all you are about is figuring out a math problem, and then everything becomes an equation to you. My friend named Eric is a whiz at his calculator, and can make all sorts of programs on it. Well, he can make it so 2+2=5. In the program, it's basically "answer + 1".

Here, you figure this out:

What is used when 2=2 and 9=362,880?

Have fun with that.

When I got home, I worked on my research paper. Then I had dinner around 6. Then I continued to work on my research paper until 11pm. And finally finished it. Great, right?

When I finally got to my room, I said hi to my baby. Mason. Every time I pick him up I love saying, "Come to momma!" Because I feel like he's the only male that gives me the attention I desire. Plus... I'm his mommy. And he's a literal bastard. He has no daddy. There isn't a male that sees him enough. I love this little guy. And now he can't spray me anymore because his balls were cut off yesterday! Yay!!

Also as I was on my bed, thinking and writing, I can't help but think of David. I need to say no more. But... Every time I come home I miss him somehow. I need more of him. I just wanna grab him and hold him close to me and never let go. I want him as happy as he can ever be. I want to be his. I don't know. I feel like a silly little teenager, laying in my bed, thinking and daydreaming about the boy I love. But hey. I'm 15. Almost 16. Need I say more?

Keep Smiling!

~Sharpie