Better Together (Patrick Kane)

13| Isn't What I Wanted At All

Danielle

"Have you ever played hockey before" Jonny asks as he takes his stuff off after morning skate. They had a game against the Jets tonight so his parents were in town. He was super excited about that. Christmas had come and gone and now the focus was back on hockey.

"A little bit. Never constructive hockey, maybe a pick up game or at a family event. Had plenty of those" I roll my eyes.

"It must be exhausting to be around hockey so much" he guesses.

"I love the game. I love the players too, so I deal" I shrug.

"That's good to hear" he smirks. "So, do you wanna do a little skate with me. I need someone to pass to me for some extra drills" he offers and I laugh. He just had his pads and skates on and he looked really funny.

"If you're worried that I can't lay a pass on your tape then you're worried about nothing" I assure him.

"I kind of figured" he laughs.

I put on skates and he goes out to the ice to re stretch. I grab a stick short enough for me to use and we get started. I pass to him and he one times the pucks into the net. His shot was crazy accurate and I was pretty impressed. I didn't have much to do with the drafting of him. In fact I was surprised he was still up for grabs at the third pick. But I'm happy Chicago is where he resides because he keeps good company.

Jonathan was a great player and a great person. He was great on the ice but it's what he offers off the ice that separates him from everyone else. He was one of my closest friends on the team, well besides Patrick.

"How is Stan doing" he asks and I smile.

"He's good. His cancer is in remission" I announce and he stands up. I forgot he knew about that.

"Seriously? That's amazing" he smiles and I nod.

"It is. He's been doing so good lately making it a lot easier at home" I admit.

We move from one timers to some one on one drills. We chase each other around the ice and have a lot of fun. There was not a lot getting accomplished but hockey is a hard business and it's not good to be all serious all the time. I snow his pants pretty good and he gasps loudly.

"Danny" he screams and laugh.

"Opps" I smile. He quickly grabs my hips and throws me over his shoulder. I don't get what's with these hockey player throwing people around that are smaller then them but I need to have a talk. He skates around for a second and I hang on to him for my life. Literally.

"Jonathan Bryan Toews you put me down right this instant" I scream.

"But first you must apologize" he claims. What a proper way to threaten me. Only him.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. Now put me down" I yell.

"Nope" he laughs and I pout. I pinch his butt and he lets out a yelp. He sets me down and I smile knowing I won.

"That hurt" he pouts rubbing his butt.

"I'm sorry, how can I make it up to you" I ask.

"Kiss it" he smirks and I smack his chest.

"Come on, lets get off so they can zamboni this bad boy" I say and we get off the ice.

We get changed and pack up everything before turning to each other.

"Thanks for helping me, I appreciate it" he starts as he stands right in front of me.

"Thanks for not dropping me on my head" I smirk and he shakes his head.

"I wouldn't drop you" he claims.

"Nice to know" I smile. I look up to his brown eyes and he was seriously right in front of my face. He grabs mine and suddenly leans in then puckers his lips and I freak. I didn't like him like that, but I did feel the tension building up and now he was trying to kiss me.

"Get off her" someone screams and I see Patrick pulling him off of me. This should be good. They scrapple a little before Jonny shakes him off as they stare at one another.

"What the hell is your problem" Jonny yells.

"You! You can't kiss her" Patrick yells.

"And why not" I ask crossing my arms.

"Because... because you don't want to be in a relationship with hockey players" he says.

"That's not up to you, that's up to me" I defend.

"What? What are you saying" he asks.

"I'm saying that who I am with is none of your business. You can't dictate who I can and cannot kiss. We're best friends Patrick, but I don't stop you from dating other girls so you can't stop me from dating who I want" I explain.

"So you want to be with Jonny" he asks.

"That's... that's not what I'm saying. I don't want to be with Jonathan. I'm saying that you can't just pull guys off of me if they want to show me affection, even if they are a hockey player" I defend.

"But you didn't want him to kiss you. I was doing you a favor" he insists.

"I don't need saving from Jonny. I'm more than okay explaining that I'm not interested in a relationship with him all on my own."

"He was going to kiss you..." he trails you.

"So he's not allowed to do that but you are" I ask and he stops. We didn't really talk about the kiss and this is kind of why. Jonathan gasps and I stare down at Patrick.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry" he asks.

"I don't want you to be sorry, don't you get it? I want that kiss to mean nothing to me. I wish I didn't miss the feeling of your lips on mine every time you touch me. I wish I wasn't so scared to fall in love with you. I wish I ever told you that we couldn't be together because every part of me want to even though every part of me knows I shouldn't. I want to forget everything about that kiss... but I can't because that kiss meant everything. Because no matter how much I lie to myself about not having feelings for you I know it's not true and every day I watch you go off with another girl and I have to pretend like I'm okay with it. So you can keep saying you're sorry, have at it. It doesn't mean anything to me" I spit. He stands there shocked as they both look at me.

"Danny I... I had no idea" he whispers.

"I'm just as confused as you are Patrick. I don't know what I want. Because what I thought I wanted isn't what I wanted at all. And I can't have you break up with Amber because I have feelings for you. That's not fair to you guys. I just... wish we never kissed" I sniffle.

"I don't" he whispers and I look at him.

The next second I turn away I run down the hallway. I hide in my office and try to calm down. There's a knock on the door and Jonny appears.

"Danny, I'm sorry I did all of this. I didn't mean to. It was the heat of the moment and I wasn't thinking" he begs.

"It's okay Jonny, it really is. I know you weren't trying to hurt me" I nod.

"I really wasn't. You're a really good friend and although I find you very attractive, like extremely attractive, I know we're better off as friends" he says and I smile. 

"Thanks Jon" I reply. He sits across from me and looks in my eyes. "Now about Patrick... you guys kissed" he asks and I sigh.

"Yeah" I inform him.

"And he was still with Amber with the time" he asks and I nod. "That's deep" he admits.

"Yeah. I just wish he would stop leading me on like this, for both of our sakes" I sigh.

"He won't stop. Want to know how I know that" he asks.

"Sure" I shrug.

"Because he wants you too" he assures me.