Better Together (Patrick Kane)

28| Listening Ear

Danielle

My family has a private funeral service for my dad to put to rest what we know. Since no one knows what happened or where his body is we requested just to bury some of his things next to my mom. That's how he would want it to be.

We sit at the cemetery as the military does their things. They do the 21 gun solute and say a few words on his behalf. He served with a lot of guys and they all had the best things to say about him. Sounds like they needed him just as much as I did.

My dad was very popular in the military. 12 years of passionate dedication to fighting for the United States Army with the upmost pride. Five tours and over a decade of leading men into battle. Always on the front line with the men fighting for what he believed was right. He's saved hundreds of innocent lives and took down dozens of bad guys. He was the dude other veterans told stories about. And they always seem to find me, asking if I'm Bowmans little girl and how he always brags about me. They ask how I'm doing in school or if I'm still helping the team. They all cared about me too and that's what makes it that much harder.

Out of all the accomplishments and medals and honors he had, he always said I was his grandest prize. He would always say I was the light of his world and now my world went black. After my mom passed I turned to him for guidance and I always figured that I wouldn't have him around much longer either. All the great ones die too early.

So now I was forced to bury my memories of my father since we didn't have a body to put in the ground. That was the hardest part. I couldn't even say goodbye, tell him I love him one more time like I did with my mom. At least with her I had closure. But now I'm left here feeling so empty, so broken.

Patrick wraps his arms around my chest as he hugs me from behind. I wrap my fingers around his arms and hold onto him for dear life. The wind whips around my black dress as it beats against my legs. Patrick kisses my neck and I feel only a fraction of a percent better.

I pull the letter he wrote out of my pocket and sigh.

"Have you read it" Patrick asks.

"No. I don't know what could be in here. I'm scared" I admit.

"You're not scared of what could be in there. You're scared of not knowing what's in there. And the only way to fix that is to open it" he tells me. I slowly open it up and pull out the paper. I start to read it out loud but the tears were almost instant.

"Dearest Danny,

I'm so happy for you and Patrick. I knew you guys could do it. Not even the strongest of people such as you can deny true love. I can't wait to see how you guys are doing on your birthday. I hope you don't mind that I got your gift from out here, but it's pretty cool if I do say so myself. I've become good friends with the native people and that always make cool things. They ask how your doing all the time and I love telling them that my beautiful daughter is getting ready to rule the world.

I'm counting down the days until I can see that smile again. Places like this could use that thing to brighten up. The guys keep asking me what's the first thing I'm going to do when I get home and every time I give the same answer. I say that I'm going to see my daughter. Give my best to my brother and dad for me while we're at it.

I think this might be my last leg. I don't move like I used to. I'm almost forty now and I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm not really sure what I'm fighting for anymore. I thought it was justice and freedom but were not saving these people. We're hurting them, bombing their houses then asking what to do to fix it. It's bad over here, there's no other way to put it. I came into this war to protect you, but each little girl I see here reminds me that I'm not with you to protect you myself.

I've seen some things that could make the strongest men cry, I've experienced the hardest heartbreaks and listened to the loudest cries. But none of that compares to the pain of knowing you wanting me home and me not being there for you. I think this is the end of me fighting other people's fight and the beginning of me doing the best job in the world. And that's being your dad.

I hope to see you soon. Until then keep you head up and heart open. Keep being true to yourself and the rest will fall into place. I love you my Tiny Dancer, forever and for always.

It's you and me kid.

Love, your dad."

"He was going to come home. He was going to stay this time" I cry.

"I know baby, I know. Come here" Patrick says and I turn around in his arms. He rubs my back as I cry and cry and cry some more. When I don't think there's any tears left they keep coming. I was so close to having my dad and he was torn away from me.

I take my necklace off and place it on his headstone. There the two most important people lie to rest finally together again. I'm sad he's gone but happy he can be with mom again.

We finish up the funeral and return home. No one says much, we were still kind of shocked. It was hard to wrap my brain around this and I don't really want to.

Patrick and I go down to his room and we just lay there. No lights on and no sound. Just us breathing.

"Thank you so much for all you've done for me these past few days. It hasn't been easy for any of us but if it wasn't for you I would have lost my mind" I say.

"I have to admit, you scared the hell out of me when you ran the other day. I couldn't find you for two hours. I searched high and low for you but I wouldn't stop looking. Then I finally found you but I realized that you were out there because you had to be by yourself for a little. You were looking for something but I'm still not sure if you found it" he admits.

"I was looking for answers. I wanted to know why bad things keep happening to me. How many times god was going to take someone I care about away from me. Why I keep telling myself I won't get hurt knowing another disaster was right around the corner. I wanted to know what I did to deserve such pain. I never did find any answers" I admit.

"Because you're asking the wrong questions" he claims. I look at him and he can tell I'm confused. "There's this saying. It goes "god gives you a life you're strong enough to live." He wouldn't give you anything you can't handle. I can't tell you why there's cancer or a war or why it was your parents were taken down by the two. But I know that you are the strongest girl I know, you always have been. And you're just going to get stronger" he says.

"I don't want to be strong, I want my parents" I sigh.

"I know you do. And it sucks I can't give you that. But I'm here for you in case there is some way I can make you feel better. I really hate seeing you like this" he admits.

"There is one thing" I say.

"Name it" he says.

"If there's ever something you can do for a veteran, even if it's something small, can you help them out" I ask softly.

"Of course, it would be my honor" he admits.

For the rest of the night we sat in the dark. I shared my fondest memories of my dad and he listened the whole time. Because times like this when people feel like they should say something they often say the wrong things. Instead a great listening ear is the antidote to a hurting heart and Patrick was mine. I was lucky to have him and I knew I could get through this as long as I had him beside me.