Better Together (Patrick Kane)

43| One Day

Danielle

"Have you thought about being a coach instead of a front office person?"

Patrick and I were hanging around the apartment just looking to pass time. I cleaned up already and cooked then cleaned up the mess I made when I cooked. It's hard to go out with him getting do popular so we find it important to enjoy the simpler things like each other's company and a heated apartment when it was so cold outside. So now we were just spending this rare free time laying in bed talking.

"I thought about it. But I doesn't feel right coaching without ever playing a game of hockey before" I shrug.

"Your grandpa never played in the NHL" he reminds me.

"My grandpa couldn't play in the NHL because he took a slash in the head in the minors and it cracked his skull" I tell him.

"Oh, so I guess that's out of the question" he laughs.

"I prefer it to be, yes" I giggle. Max joins us in bed and I pat the small space between Patrick and I and he snuggles in. He was getting bigger but her was still my little boy. Always will be.

We lay there just cuddling our dog before Patrick speaks up.

"How do you feel about kids, like not dog kids" he asks randomly.

"I love kids, if it was up to me I would totally steal my cousins" I admit.

"I'm talking about having your own kids. Maybe one day... our kids" he says and I look up at him. He was watching closely to see how I reacted and it made me feel good that he wanted to know how I felt about this.

"I would love to one day have kids with you" I admit.

"Really" he smiles and I nod.

"Yeah, I have it all planned out. You'll play in the league of 20 years before you retire. By that time we will have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. I took over my uncles job after he got tired and wanted to stay home with Suzanne and the family. We would have won 10 championships just so I could one up my grandpa. Our kids will play hockey if they want to, at least one of them will. The others are going to hate it but that's okay, they're still involved because they love us. Then one day when they all move out I know that I will still have the best thing that has ever happened to me left, and that's you" I say.

"You've thought this through, huh" he asks.

"My mind goes to some crazy places. But that's my favorite place to go" I smile.

"Well I can't wait until then... one day" he says rubbing my arm.

"Yeah, one day" I sigh.

Eventually we get up and decide to take Max for a walk. We take him to the park and play with him before Patrick gets recognized. We bring his favorite toy and play fetch with it for a little while. We throw it back and fourth and Max has the time of his life.

After playing for a little we take Max home and decide to grab a bite to eat at Chicago cut. The owners love when Patrick comes and we love their food so I guess it's a win win.

We sit down and order our food and enjoy the soft music playing behind us.

"So... I did something" he starts and I narrow my eyes.

"What did you do" I ask. This could be anything from I cheated to I bought three more dogs. Really hoping it was that second one.

"I was talking to your dad the other day at family night and he said something along the lines that he l wasn't sure if you wanted him back in your life after all he's put you through. I know I shouldn't be telling you this because he doesn't want you trying to prove anything to him but it's hard to sit here and watch you finally have something you wanted so bad and you can't really do anything about it. So I kind of had the cemetery retrieve this for you" he says holding up my necklace my dad gave me when I saw him two years ago. The last time I saw it it was in a box with other things that meant something to my dad along with my moms wedding band among other things. Putting that in the ground was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't want to let him go but I felt like I had to do it in order to move on. Now he's back and so was my necklace. It was nice and sparkly, just like the day he gave it to me.

"Patrick... I don't know what to say" I admit. He puts it around my neck and I see it rest over my chest. "Thank you so so much" I sniffle.

"There's a second part... I think you should talk to your dad. Like actually talk to him about why that necklace means so much to you. Because he doesn't see it" he says.

"I can't. We're doing so good right now, why make a mess of everything" I ask.

"You think that what's happening between you and your dad is good right now" he asks.

"No, I guess not" I sigh.

"Baby, I love you so much. There isn't a thing in this world I love more than I love you. But I'm not the man in your life, your dad is. And right now he feels like you don't want him and I know that's not true. Please talk to him."

"I don't know if I can. He's getting professional help and I can easily mess up that process if I say the wrong things."

"The only wrong thing you can say is nothing. You know that."

"You're right. I'm just, I'm so scared" I whisper.

"Don't be. He's your father, and he's all you got left. Things aren't ever going to be normal for you guys and that's okay. But it's not okay to have a fake relationship with him, you both deserve better than that" he says grabbing my hand. I look into his eyes and smile a little. I couldn't help it.

"I'll talk to him" I say and he squeezes his hand.

"Great" he smiles.

"Thanks for talking to me, that takes a lot of courage. But I didn't know you were so close with my dad" I admit.

"He's someone I look up to. My family is a big service family and what he's done is highly respected in my eyes. I grew up idolizing the guys like him. Plus he wants you to be happy as much as I do and I think that's really cool. He keeps asking me how you're doing and what your favorite things are. It's cute" he shrugs.

"I'm so lucky to have you" I admit.

"The feeling is mutual" he smirks.

We eat dinner and enjoy a lighter conversation. Every time the cold metal hits my chest I'm reminded that a big part of me is in my life again, now I just have to put the pieces back together.