Better Together (Patrick Kane)

45| Nerves

Patrick

My first NHL playoff game was today and I was admittedly a little nervous. I mean it's only my second year here and we've already turned so much around, there was a lot of pressure to do well with this group of guys. It's the first of hopefully many post season runs but we had a good team, I would hate to waste it with a first round exit.

I sit in my room watching film closely as Danny finishes up some school stuff. I would much rather her be in here with me catching things I miss like always but I get why she's separated herself from me because I am a distraction to her. She had finals coming up and she really wanted to do good but she also wanted to go to all the playoff games. So right now she was trying to finish up as much as she could before she got sucked into the craziness that is April hockey.

After watching a old Hawks vs Flames game I go into the kitchen and find some leftovers to warm up. It's not as good as fresh off the stove but it still smelled great. I pop that in the microwave and sit at the island before going through stats for today while eating.

A short time later Danny appears at the door with Max's leash in hand and he runs in. He runs right to me and jumps on my legs. I scratch begging his ear as he shows me how much he's missed me.

"Hey big guy! I've missed you too" I laugh petting him. He barks a few times before Danny calms him down and he goes get a drink.

"Where did you guys go" I ask.

"I needed a study break and he needed a bathroom break so I took him on a stroll. We saw the city and just walked around enjoying the city life" she explains.

"That sounds like fun" I say cleaning up my lunch and going to wash them.

"There's nothing fun about what I just said... what's wrong" she asks.

"Nothing's wrong" I mumble.

"You're lying to me. You always weakly agree when something is on your mind so you don't over speak me so I know something is wrong. Don't you lie to me" she threatens.

"I'm just anxious I guess. We have a big game today, the first of many big games actually, in a way it all starts right now and I don't want to mess up" I admit.

"You know, I'm in a psychology class and we were just learning about this kind of thing. It has to do with anxiety, and it's when we are so afraid of something happening that we unconsciously make it happen. Like if someone's afraid of messing up a speech and they spend every second trying to make sure they don't, they're going to forget the basic fundamentals of processing and mess it up anyway. Therefore everything they tried so hard to avoid become inevitable creating the exact problem they were trying to avoid. The same goes for you, if you spend all your time worrying about something going wrong I can promise you it will. If you play too cautiously you're going to mess up and it's going to be a shame because you're too good for that. You have to trust yourself, take it shift by shift and do the little things right. Don't worry about making something happen every play, and don't worry about making mistakes. Don't worry at all, trust yourself and the process" she explains.

"You're right. I just want to do good so bad" I insist.

"I don't know if you noticed... but you're a very good hockey player" she claims and I laugh.

"I got that, but so is everyone else out on that ice" I defend.

"Maybe so, but you shouldn't be comparing your abilities to the ones around you. No one plays the game like you do so it would be a waste. You don't compare a banana to a apple just because their both fruits. The only person you should be trying to be better than is the person you were yesterday" she explains.

"How do you know this stuff" I wonder.

"I told you, I'm in a psychology class. I think it's important to understand how people think, how we see each other and how we function as people. It helps me better understand things from a business standpoint" she explains.

"Well I love your brain" I say kissing her forehead.

Before the game my family comes over and we chat a little. They wanted to come to all the playoff games so I was hoping to see them a lot lately. I talk with Danny and my dad as my sisters and my mom play with Max.

"So Danny, how is life treating you" my dad asks sipping a water.

"It's going good. I'm almost done with school then I can get my masters next year and that's exciting. Pretty soon I can start working with the team in a non intern position so that's fun" she says.

"That's awesome. How has my son been" he asks and I glare at him.

"He's been good. He works out every chance he gets and even takes Max on runs. We watch film almost every night there's not a game and I make sure he always drinks water and sleeps good. And I always hide his vegetables in dinner so he gets them" she smirks and I squint my eyes.

"I don't even hate vegetables" I defend.

"You don't like them either" she reminds me.

"That is... not wrong" I admit.

"Well its good to hear you guys are doing good on your own. This is a big city but I'm glad he has someone like you around" my dad claims and I smile. How sweet was that?

After hanging out a bit we go to the game. As soon as Danny is out of my sight the nerves come back and I was once again freaking out. I sit at my stall bouncing my leg up and down quickly as chaos ensues around me.

"You nervous" Duncan Keith asks and I chuckle.

"You can say that" I admit.

"Don't be. You're a great player and this is where you show it. These are the games that matters and I know when we need you the most you'll be there. Have faith in your abilities and we'll be there if you get in trouble. We're a team, and we won't let you go this alone. We got you" he says.

"Thanks man, I'll try to score one for you tonight" I say.

"Anytime kid" he smiles walking away. It comes time for us to go out and I take a deep breath. I got this.