A/n: WE HIT 2k OMG!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU!!
Unknown : Hello, my dear friend Phil. It's been a while. How are you?
Phil : Go away.
Unknown : Ouch I'm hurt.
Phil : So am I. You don't even tell us your name.
Unknown : I'm Morgan Freeman.
Phil : Fuck you!
Phil : Tell me your real name or stop texting me. If you don't, I'll block you!
Unknown : Okay, fine. I'll tell you.
Unknown : But ask me first.
Phil : I am asking you, idiot!
Unknown : No, like come meet me face to face.
Phil : I don't even know you.
Unknown : You do.
Phil : How? Are you our neighbour's dog?
Unknown : Asshole.
Phil : Oh I know you!
Unknown : Who am I?
Phil : You're the homeless guy sleeping on the road down the street!
Unknown : HELL NO
Phil : Then who are you? Are you an AI?
Unknown : What?
Phil : Artificial Intelligence.
Unknown : No, stupid. I'm an actual living being.
Phil : Then just tell me!
Phil : We can all be friends and have sleep overs and braid each others hair!
Unknown : WTF NO
Phil : I'm just kidding.
Unknown : ....I'm not so sure about that.
Unknown : But anyway meet me at the coffee shop that you always come to.
Phil : .....
Phil : OH HELL NO NOT HIM NOT THE BARISTA PLEASE NO
Unknown : Oh hell yes I am him.
Phil : Fuck!
Unknown : My name's Troye.
Unknown : Troye Sivan.
Unknown : There. Mystery solved!
Phil : Dammit! I never saw that coming.
Phil : Wait, then why did you call me a stalker? You knew we were a couple!
Phil : Also is that your real name?
Unknown : Because you and Dan are not the only people who come to my shop regularly, there are other people too, people who're alert and aware of their surroundings. This women came up to me and told me that there was a creepy guy sitting in the corner and that she was scared. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING SNEAKING PICTURES OF DAN? She obviously thought you were a pervert or something.
Unknown : And yes, it is my real name.
Unknown number added to contacts as Troye.
Phil : Well, I was bored and Dan never lets me take pictures of him because he thinks he's not good looking or something but I can't fucking take my eyes off him so.
Troye : God, you're pathetic.
Troye : No offense, man. You know it's true.
Troye : Oops now I know what happens. Dan is going to pop out of nowhere, isn't he?
Phil Lester added Dan Howell to the conversation.
Dan : Hi.
Troye : -___-
Dan : You have no right to talk to him like that! I don't like Phil taking pictures of me but THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Troye : Sorry -_-
Dan : Apology not accepted.
Troye : Aw, why? :(
Dan : Error 888: Insincerity detected. Try again later.
Troye : Okay, I'm really sorry, robot Dan -_-
Phil : Oi! Don't call him a robot!
Troye : Okay, Dan's bodyguard.
Dan : Don't call him that!
Troye : FUCK YOU! Y'ALL ARE IDIOTS!
Phil : HAHA look baby he's so jealous! Poor, lonely single people and their little problems.
Dan : .....
Dan : Come back to bed, phil. I'm cold.
Phil : Okay, baby :)
Troye : ......
Troye : ......
Troye : I hate them so much but I can't stop loving them. Someone help me!
YOU ARE READING
Candy Love//Phan
FanfictionPhil: MUM I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH DAN Mom: He's your future husband sweet heart of course you love him. Dan Howell and Phil Lester have been dating for 8 years now, but they're still so smitten with each other that even the phandom finds it adorabl...
