Gonna Ride Again

The Phone Call

June 2015

I am on my tour bus hanging out with Ben, Jesse, Brian Davis and PJ. We just finished a show and are headed to get something to eat. Brian has been throwing out crazy ideas for songs and we have all been laughing cause he is about 3 sheets to the wind.

He says,"BG why don't you have a woman now? I don't understand it man, the ladies love you but you ain't married yet?"

"BD you know good and well why I ain't married. They ain't no woman ever gonna be comfortable with me on the road all the damn time. Besides I tried that shit, twice to be exact and it gave me some great songs but just not for me. I'm single for life."

PJ laughed," yeah they ain't no woman in her right mind gonna put up with his moody ass. You know he is worse than a PMSing woman"

I glare at PJ and give him the middle finger and he just laughs at me. I tell him," you would know since you bitch like one"

My phone buzzes and I check it and see that it is Deke from my MC

BG: Hey Deke what's going on?

D: BG I got some news for you brother and it ain't good.

BG: What is it Deke?

D: We need you to come home man, its Casey

BG: What happened what is going on ?

D: I don't know how to say this but to just come out and say it brother, Casey is gone . We lost him sometime during the night.

BG: Gone you mean he passed away?

D: Yeah brother that is what I mean I'm sorry BG to have to tell you this in a phone call.

BG: Shit Deke what happened how?

D: Not definite yet but preliminary guess is heart attack. He left your show last week and spent a few days at his daughters house and rode in yesterday.

BG: Did he have to lay it down or what ?

D: No he was asleep and Lucy went to see if he was gonna come out for the party and she found him.

BG: Oh shit Deke , what do y'all need ?

D: we need you to come on home the wake will be day after tomorrow and then burial with a ride following. BG someone's got to tell Sissie .

BG: I can't tell her Deke

D: BG you know that is what Casey would want. I know you and Sissie haven't seen each other in years but you were the closest one to her of all of us.

BG: I wouldn't know where to begin Deke, seeing me show up on her steps wouldn't help any you know she hated the MC.

D: BG come home and then we can sort all this out.

BG: Yeah man I will be headed home in a few hours. It  will be tomorrow before I can get to the club but I will be there as quick as I can.

D: Be careful man

BG: You too brother.

I hang up the phone and I sit down on my bed and I think about what I was just told. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that one of the men I look up to the most in this world is gone from this life.  I think about the first time I met Casey .

I was 16 and playing VFW and MC's . That night I was playing the local MC in Jefferson . I sang Modern Day Prodigal Son and this big sum bitch biker came up to me with tears in his eyes and tells me that he loved that song. That it moved him cause it was like I had written about his life. I remember looking up at this huge man and he was 40 or so and you could tell he had lived a rough life. He was drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and was smoking one after another and his long beard with grey in it and this wild hair and me this little scrawny 16 year old kid had brought him to tears. In that moment I knew I had done something great. And that night and interaction was the start of a friendship that I can't explain .

   I clear my head and send Jeff a text letting him know that I was headed to Jefferson for the next 7 dAys due to a death.  He let me know he would handle everything . I walk back up front and let the guys know that I will be heading home as soon as we stop for food and eat. PJ looks to me and said," What about Sissie? Have they told her?"

"No Deke said i needed to be the one to tell her but I don't think that is a good idea."

"BG you were the closest to her because you were the same age and she doesn't need it to come from a complete stranger" PJ tells me.

Ben looks at me and said," you don't have a choice man think what Casey would want and who would he want to tell Sissie . When you do that it has to be you "

"Hell y'all I haven't seen or spoken to her since that day 11 years ago when we were 19 and you think I need to be the one who tells her that her dad is gone ? I mean if you all don't remember let me refresh your memory she hates my fucking guts and made no bones about it that night."

PJ looked at me and said," Boss she was hurting and she said things and you said things that I am sure you both regret. Casey is gone and you need to do right by him so think about what he would want you to do."

We stop and all get off to eat and I know that its gonna be a long night. I grab my notebook ,computer and guitar and I take the time I am alone to write . I finally feel sleepy and head to bed knowing that in a few more hours I was gonna have to face the one person besides my Mama who could see through all the bullshit.