Gonna Ride Again

Rules and Apologies

Brantley POV

I can already smell coffee as I wake up so I jump in the shower and get dressed before going downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and I see Sissie looking out the window, I see her bag is by the door. I walk up behind her wrapping her in my arm pulling her back against me kissing her . She turns in my arms and says," B that's a line I can't cross. I am not gonna lie to you, I need you to get through the next several days, but I need you as my friend .... nothing else. "
  I look at her and realize she is ready to run so I can't push her fast. "Sissie I am here for you however you need me. I will not say that I am sorry for last night... that would be a lie and that is one thing I have learned from losing you is that I don't lie to you ever. I see you have already packed your bag. Look, I don't want to run you away. I know you will be needing me so any terms you want to suggest?"

  "No kissing for starters and please quit trying to take me back to being the 19 year old who left Jefferson. I am 30 now, I have changed. Hell B you have changed, can we just get to know who we are now?"

  "That's fair, I can do that darlin, let me take you out for breakfast before this long day starts"
   Sissie smiles and said," The Diner"
I chuckle ,"where else would we go? You want to take the bike?"
    She bites her lip and shakes her head no. I raise my eyebrow and she tells me," Not ready to go there right now"
   It is then that it hits me, she won't ride because of ol lady status and is probably wondering if any one else has ever ridden behind me. I look at her ," that's okay honey, we can take the truck but just to set the record straight , there has only been one woman on my bike."  After I said that I grab my keys by the door and open it waiting on her to go out and lock up behind us. She walks through and whispers," good thing to know"
    When we get to the diner Sue waves us to a booth and I start that way I realize it is our booth the one we had when we were together. I feel Sissie tense up under my hand at her back and I make a note, subtle reminders of our time together may be the way I can bring her back. She looks around and sees that it is the only booth open and relaxes.
  Sue comes over and tells her," Sorry to hear about Casey, he was a really good man and will be missed by everyone in Jefferson."
   "Thanks Sue I still have trouble wrapping my head around it." Sissie tells her.
   "Looks like you got the perfect person to help you through it with Brantley. He is a good one too but don't tell him I said so you know he will let it go to his head being a superstar and all" Sue jokes with us.
"Okay Sue I see how it is I bring her in for breakfast and it turns into a bash Brantley session, no more tickets for you or do I need to talk to Big Jim on how his waitress is harassing the customers?"
  "Now boy you aren't to big for me to turn you over my knee and tan your hide for that smart mouth or better yet call yo mama"
  "Okay now there is no need to bring Mama into this." I say laughing and I see Sissie laughing too.
   Sue takes our order and walks away after bringing us coffee. Sissie looks at me and said,"this is what you meant in the interview where you talked about the reasons you live here and not in Nashville"
  "Yeah it is, I went for a year after you left and lived there writing songs but the inspiration wasn't there. The inspiration for every song is here. In my hometown where I lived my life. Where I still live when I am not on the road touring. What about you do you miss Jefferson or have you truly made Atlanta home?"
" coming back has made me realize how much I miss this, everybody knowing everybody and all their family history how when something bad happens we all pitch together to fix it or just comfort the family. Atlanta is where I live and work but like daddy told me only a few days ago Jefferson and the MC is home for me. Always has been and always will be. And it hurts that I know he will never get to welcome me home. That is what I regret the most B that the one thing he wanted that I could give him I never did. He just wanted to welcome me home to Jefferson and the MC."
"Honey your daddy knew that you would one day find your way back home. He told me so just a few days ago at my show, he also told me that you and I were the two most stubborn smart dumbasses he had ever come across."
Sissie laughed," yeah well I probably got the same speech you did word for word. He was good at that and you know he was usually right on most things. "
Our food came and we began to eat and I stopped and looked at Sissie and thought to myself just bite the bullet and tell her.
"Sissie"
"Yeah B"
"I need to tell you something that is 11 years too late but I feel like you deserve to know the truth. I am sorry for the decisions I made 11 years ago to get lost in the bottle and the pills. Truth is I felt things for you that scared the shit our of me. I took the cowards way out and continued to do so for several years. When I was in the hospital Casey came to see me. Told me that he didn't picture a coward when he met me at 16 and wrote a song that brought a grown man to tears. That it was time to be the man that you Sissie always told him I would be. I let you leave and didn't go after you that night because I knew that you deserved better. But I did not ever think about another girl when we were together. I turned into someone I am ashamed of and I knew you would be too. It's all on me and I owe you an apology for the way I treated you and lied to you about the drinking and pills. I am so sorry I hurt you."

She looks at me and takes my hand across the table," Thank you B and you weren't the only one at fault. I know I was pretty unreasonable at times about all of it and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin back then. I accused you of so many things and I knew they weren't true but I had to find a way to break free. I couldn't stand by and watch you destroy yourself and me in the process. I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to fight and stay with you but that night was my breaking point. I had to get out and I knew that college was my way out. I took it and ran with it. So I accept your apology if you will accept mine."
  I smile and squeeze her hand," you know I will honey now that is behind us we have to deal with today."
  " Yeah I am ready if you are." She tells me. I pay Sue and we get in the truck and head to the flower shop.