Gonna Ride Again

Celebration of Life

Sissie POV

    As I tell B and Luce to go on that I needed to say my goodbyes alone, I make my way to the casket laying my flower on top. I bend over and if I could I would lay down on it. My heart is breaking and I don't know that I will ever get over it. I tell him,"Daddy I am so sorry I didn't come home before this. I love you! You were the reason I was able to live my dreams, your constant unwavering love and support. I get what you were trying to tell me about Brantley, so for you well for me too, I will see where this leads. I promise I won't run without giving it a fair shot. Just don't let him break me daddy"
   I find myself kneeling and I stand up placing one more kiss on the casket before turning and why am I surprised, but Brantley is standing about halfway waiting on me. Even from a distance I see the concern and hurt on his face. His body language screams that he is holding on a tight rein from something and if I had my guess it is to come running to me to help me. As I draw closer he opens his arms and I walk into what feels like home. I get such comfort from the smell of leather and smoke and a scent that is all masculine and its him. Being in his arms feels like home, but I am so damn scared cause I know I cannot survive losing him again. He pulls me close and asks," you ready to go celebrate his life MC style?"
I can't speak so I just nod my head. He pulls back and we walk toward the road and I look back over my shoulder and its like I can feel daddy smiling. I turn back around and realize that the only thing left is his bike. I stop and shake my head,"no I can't B I can't ride into the MC lot on the back of your bike. They will all think I am your old lady and we both know that isn't true."
"In my eyes Sissie you are my old lady and unless you have had it removed I do believe you have my mark tattooed on your body. I am not gonna push you into anything you aren't ready for, Lucy and Ash had to go back to get the food set up. They all know the only way for you to get there is with me. Nothing more than a ride"
    " No I haven't had your tattoo removed but I am not ready for that title...not sure I will ever be ready .... So much to process B"

  " I know that's why this is just a means to an end so to speak."
   We walk to the bike and he opens up and hands me my vest from all those years ago and my helmet. I look at them and say," what the hell and I put them both on" I run my fingers over the patch that says "Princess"  I remember the day I got my vest and how proud daddy was to put that patch on it. I hike my dress up and climb behind B and wrap my arms around him and admit that it feels damn good to be like this but it is also what scares the shit out of me. I cannot lose my heart to him again for him to stomp all over it.

   We pull in and the only ones in the lot are Coop and Ash. I get off and Coop yells"Sissie you look at home on that bike are you sure that is all you rode?" Ash hits him and glares but I laugh trailing my fingers down B's arm and say," wouldn't you like to know but I do believe a lady never tells " I sashay into  the clubhouse looping arms with Ash.
   The celebration supper was great, everyone was telling stories and memories about daddy. The longer the night went on the more rowdy it became because it meant more alcohol consumption. I have been doing shots with Ash but not enough to be drunk just have a good buzz going. B was standing behind me talking with Eli with his arm around me and I feel him yank away. I turn to see what was going on and if it wasn't whore#1. It makes me furious that she is here and I open my mouth,"I know this is a club party for my daddy but I thought y'all said that the pussy brigade wasn't invited."

"oh please honey we all know he will get tired of not getting what he wants from you and I will be glad to help you out sugar " giving B a wink.

I look at B and see the disgust in his eyes and I narrow my eyes and said,"you couldn't get him 11 years ago when you weren't a used up piece of pussy what makes you think he would want you now knowing he would have to tie a 2x4 to his ass to keep from falling in and getting lost?"