Gonna Ride Again

Surprises

Sissie POV

   I knew that B had to get back on the road to finish the last half of his tour, what I didn't realize is my feelings would be like this. I have cried the last 2 days while I worked at school. I tried not to let him see how much it was bothering me. Like right now I am heading home to put on some makeup to cover up my splotchy face before going over to his house.  I pull in and I see Ashley's jeep which alerts me that something has to be wrong. I grab my bag and open my front door and Ashley is sitting on my couch crying her eyes out. She looks up and I can see she has been crying for a while. 

"Ash what's wrong?" I ask her.

"Sissie, Eli and I just had the biggest fight we have ever had. You know that Tins starts school this year and Eli and I had always said that we weren't through having kids. So I brought up the idea while the kids were at Mama's. He blew a gasket. Told me that in no way shape or fashion was I to quit taking my pills. That just because Tins was starting school didn't mean we needed another mouth to feed. But the thing is Sissie is I am late. I am afraid to tell him that with the way he reacted. " Ashley sobs.

"okay Ash, first things first, I will go and get a pregnancy test for you to take. Then I will go find your dumbass husband and give him a piece of my mind for being a jerk. I sware sometimes he has a brain injury from getting hit playing football in high school. " I hug her and grab my keys and head to the drugstore.

  I quickly get 2 tests after reading all the information and pay for them hurrying back to the house. I run in and hand them to Ashley. While she is taking them I pour myself a glass of wine. I will hold off on pouring Ashley one until we know the results.  She walks out and I ask her ,"How do you feel Ash? Is this something you want?"

"I don't know Sissie, I mean I like not having a little person dependent on me 24/7, but at the same time I miss having a baby. Besides you know that I had applied for the half day preschool teacher job now that Tins will be starting Kindergarten. I only brought it up to see where Eli stood. I never expected him to blow up and yell and stomp out of the house, cussing up a storm." Ash tells me as her phone goes off. She looks at me and says,"Can you go look for me?"

I get up and as I do my phone goes off but I send it to voicemail. I will talk to B when I have Ash sorted out. I look at the tests on my bathroom counter and I don't know how she is gonna take the news. I head back and I pour her a glass of wine. She smiles and starts crying as she picks the glass up and takes a drink. "Well I guess Eli will be happy. "

"How do you feel Ash?"

"Relieved, a little especially with Eli's reaction but sad at the same time. I know that probably doesn't make sense."

"Oh it makes a lot of sense, I have had years to get over my guilt feelings about losing mine and B's baby. Would have been 10 same age as Cam. I remember thinking when it happened that it was a blessing cause neither one of us were ready to be parents. You and Eli were a different story. You both were over the moon happy when we found out about Cam. So I do understand the mixed feelings all to well. " As I finish those words my phone rings again and I send it to voicemail again. B can wait, Ash needs me more right now. I pour us both another glass.

"So tell me what has your eyes all red and swollen and face blotchy? Who do I need to take a bat after, a person at work or my brother B?" Ash asks me.

"Neither well not intentionally anyway. B leaves for tour in 2 days and I am a mess. I can't stop crying and feeling like I am losing part of myself. I have never been like this Ash. I feel sad and mad and I was just stopping by here to fix my face so he wouldn't know.  You know that I have always been so independent but I feel like my world is falling apart." I tell her and she laughs.

"Oh sweetheart you are experiencing your first sub drop. Your bigger than life Alpha Caveman Dominant is about to be gone and the submissive in you is reacting. From my experience it is best to ride it out. Just feel whatever you do, keep hydrated with water and gatorade. Also, you need to tell B what you are feeling. He can help you work through it, that is what they are there for. They need us to need them. It is part of what makes the Dom/sub dynamic work. Let me guess you feel like you are being needy and clingy and you think B will get mad. Let me tell you if you are feeling this, chances are he is feeling it too. I am gonna head on out and let you get ready to see B. Looks like we both have some talking to do with our men. Like I said talk to him tell him everything Sissie"

We were talking and didn't hear the truck pull in or B slip in until he said in the pissed off growling tone only he used," That's exactly right Karissa June I think you and I have a whole lot to discuss. I can't believe you would do this, try to keep me out of the loop. I thought we had worked past you running but I guess the hell not!"