Gonna Ride Again

Feelings

Sissie POV

   I broke down and called Lucy while B was getting ready and all she would tell me is that some aspects of a man are only meant for his woman. Then she changed topic and asked what we were doing tonight. I told her that he had promised to talk and now I was nervous and may just let things ride because it was good between us now. Lucy laughed,"Yeah is he performing shirtless tonight?"
"No he is not and he promised me not to pull that shirt up and show off his guns, but we will see" I tell her.
"Well then after the show why don't you just have a movie night that way you are both comfortable and the talk may just flow from there.Besides 50 Shades of Grey is supposed to be on, now that is one to watch with your man" Lucy laughs.
"Really Lucy? but movie night does sound like a great idea, got to go PJ is here so that means B is close to hitting the stage. love you and thanks"
" Love you too Sissie and whatever happens listen to the man with an open mind , please, he hasn't had it easy either"
" I promise Lucy"
I head off the bus beside PJ and we walk up just as they were about to pray, I slip under B's arm and he kisses the top of my head,"everything okay Princess?"
"just girl talk with Lucy, sorry I am late" I tell him.
"not late just on time babygirl" he says and then Jesse says the prayer and they all get ready to take their spots as the opening video rolls, B turns to me "I love you"
"I love you too ,now go kickass out there outlaw"

As I watch the show my mind goes back to all the times we have had together and he 11 years apart, the moment I saw him in the school office, it was like a part of my soul was back in place. I knew whatever reason he was there for,I would be able to handle it because I had him by my side. He walked in and took control of everything. Yeah Dad had it all in place but B, well he made sure everything had been handled like it was supposed to be. What kind of man comes in and takes control and stands right by an ex-girlfriends side even though she is pushing him away and fighting him tooth and nail. The thing is it felt good for him to do that, I felt relieved. I didn't want to admit it but i really missed having that in my life. He had always took charge even at 16 when he brought me supper because he had listened to my conversation with Lucy. I may have fought him but I always knew when he meant business and how far to push him, well I learned after an incident with the club, he took me to his room kicking and screaming and spanked me like a damn kid. It pissed me off at the time but now I can say I was acting like a brat and needed it. Although I would never tell him that, his ego is big enough. Home , I felt like I was home in his arms, that whatever the world threw my way, it would be okay cause I had him, and without a doubt he would handle it.
  I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize that the show was over until I heard that low rough voice whisper in my ear, "You ready to go to the bus Princess?"
"Yeah I am, think we can do movie night and snuggles?" I ask as he links his fingers with mine.
"I think movie night and snuggles sounds like a great idea.I always like snuggling naked " he said with a smirk.
I shake my head ,"that is not how we do movie night and snuggles and you know it B"
"Always a first time for everything darlin"
B heads straight to the shower when we get on the bus while I change into one of his tshirts and fix popcorn for us. I fix the couch and get the movie ready to play and decided to go with Lucy suggestion. I had seen the movie with a group of ladies from work and didn't really care for it, something just seemed off. Yes I read the book after I picked one up that someone had left in my classroom.
"um baby doll " I turn and see B standing in the doorway with one arm propped with no shirt and a pair of basketball shorts riding low on his hips.
"yes?" I ask taking a breath cause he does that , he takes my breath.
"You want to watch that movie? Do you know what it is about?"he asks
"Yeah I have seen it before when it came out, Lucy suggested watching it with you when I talked to her earlier"
"So Lucy suggested it, what else did Lucy have to say babydoll?"
"Oh you know same old same about being a good Old Lady and something about some aspects of a man are only meant for his woman. You know Lucy club before anything else."
B grabs the popcorn bowl and i grab the water and we get comfortable on the couch. I throw my legs over his and snuggle into his side as the movie starts playing. As the movie plays, it doesn't sit well with me, I get mad when he spanks her and then leaves. This can't be how it is, people can't think that this is right, can they? Close to the end B stops he movie, "Sissie what is wrong? Is this bothering you?"
"Yes it is bothering me, I admit I know nothing about this but I just cannot for the life of me believe that rational, normal adults do this"
A look I don't recognize passes over his face, "Sissie you do know people participate in BDSM every day, rational, sane normal people. People you would never think they would"
"Yes I know that, that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about this movie. To me it seems like he is just sadistic, its just wrong how he treats her. Spanks her then leaves, she has no clue what is going on. It is mental abuse....he isn't taking care of her, he is just a sadistic control freak."
He sits up a little and looks down at me with a slight smirk , "What you mean to say Little Miss OCD is you don't think you could give up even a little bit of control"
"No that is not what I am saying B! I just don't believe a true relationship works like that cause you know good and well as I do that if a man who worked in an auto repair shop and lived in a trailer park pulled this same exact shit all these women that love it would be screaming abuse and have the writer and movies banned. Granted, I don't have any experience but I don't think that is what that type of relationship is supposed to be like"
" Princess , you might be surprised , there are degrees to it as there are with all things. What works for one person may not work for all. Like your students, for example, they all have individual things that work for them on studying and learning. Some learn better with books, others through seeing it. And you understand that and teach them accordingly. I'm just speaking theoretically here of course. It could be that it is about the give and take."
"That was what I was trying to say, it can't be about one person controlling another. To me, I guess it would be about trusting someone enough to let them have control but that would be something that would take time and have to be earned. Besides I wasn't talking about the sex, more the emotional part. Hell we did some things as teenagers that would raise eyebrows if people had known."
" That we did Princess" he ssaid with a chuckle,"think those cuffs are still around somewhere, always have a bandana as a blindfold"
"Oh hush B," I say shaking my head at him.
We lay back down and I hear," Sissie you think you could ever trust me like that?'
I raise my head and look at him,"What do you mean trust you like that? I'm here so that has to tell you how much I trust you, got on your bike, left marks on your back....what else is there to trust?"
"Nothing, umm, never mind" he mumbles closing his eyes then opens them focusing on the TV. I sit up looking down at him , "no you meant something by that Brantley Keith and you better start explaining, NOW"
He sits up ,"Would you ever trust me enough like you said to give me control in our relationship?"
"Of course I trust you ,a relationship is about give and take"
"Not what I meant Sissie" he says quietly "Today when I told you, your ass was getting on that bike, what was your first instinct? To argue with me or to listen?"
"Well I argued at first, until you used a tone that I had never heard and it was like my whole body took notice and I knew to say yes sir and do whatI was told" I answer him.
"Exactly my point baby"
"Oh..Oh..you mean..Oh" I say with my eyes widening, looking at him
"Just forget it came up Sissie" he says biting his lip as I look at him,"It obviously freaks you out. No, " he says stopping."I have to ask. You never noticed anything like that in any of the other guys you've been with? I am not naive baby. It's been 11 years."
I blush and bite my lip and whisper, "There haven't been any other guys. The ones I went out with well most didn't even get a second date."