Gonna Ride Again

Intuition

Sissie POV

It has been 6 weeks since B left for this part of tour. I am ready for him to be home. The phone calls, texts, and facetime are just not the same as having him beside me at night. I have been staying out at his house instead of the house in Jefferson. Daddy would be happy either way but I just feel better staying at his house and to be honest B loves it.
He will be coming home on Sunday and I know that he is ready to be off for a while. What he doesn't know is that I plan to surprise him and show up at the last show at Red Rocks. I have always wanted to go and PJ and Jeff have helped me arrange it so I can make it in without him knowing. I need to see him the ache in my chest has been worse these last 2 days, almost like I feel something is going to happen ...like something bad. Ashley says its just because this whole lifestyle is so new to me but it isnt. I know something is wrong ....not sure what but something is.
Since being introduced to the lifestyle I have found that the connection we have always had has grown stronger. I mean when we were teenagers we always knew things without having to say them out loud. Now he knows when I am having a bad day and calls or says his chest hurts when I am sick or having a panic attack and he stops everything to check on me and make sure I am okay. So today when I felt the sharp pain I knew I needed to make it to him. He needs me.
I have my suitcase out packing when Eli and Ashley stop by to check on me and make sure I am okay. We sit around the fire pit out back and Eli asks me, "Sissie we have always been honest with each other and I need to know , are you in this for the long haul or after this year in Jefferson is up are you gonna take your stuff and leave again?"
I stop and just look him in the eye not believing he asked me that question, "Eli I have loved B from the time I was 16 years old. I never stopped. I have no intentions of leaving. Do you honestly think after learning about the lifestyle and accepting it that I would leave? Hell Eli , I feel like half my soul is gone when I am not with him. Why would I want to experience that kind of heart pain on a daily basis? "

"No i didn't think that you were gonna leave but I think you know after your research and training what the next step will be and I guess I am asking to see where your head is cause I love you and B both. Yall are both family and the next step is serious and I don't want to lose either one of you. And no I have not talked to B about this. I am asking so if you have questions that you know you can come to Ashley and me and we will help as much as we can or you can talk to B. "

"Eli are you referring to being collared? I am assuming"

"Yeah I am"

"B has already explained that a collar is more than an engagement ring it is a commitment that you trust the other person completely. He has explained that it has a bad history, that it was used to show ownership of slaves and while some in the lifestyle do the Master/slave dynamic, that the majority of the people we know it is more of a DaddyDom/little girl or Dom/sub dynamic. I also know some choose to not collar but do the traditional wedding for society's sake. However I am not sure that B would ever do the wedding scene. I know that there are several types of collars and meanings of them. I know that it is usually left up to the couple of what type collar they do, such as day collars that look like a necklace, an actual leather collar,or a choker. Anything embodying an unending circle. But more than being a piece of jewelry it is a symbol that it is an exchange where a gift is given entrusting that their Dominant will always do what is best for them. That I am saying I choose him that I defer to him to do what is best for me in all areas. But I do have a question?"

"What is that since I think you know all about it."Eli smiles as he answers.

"Well I know I would wear the collar but is there anyway to show that a Dom is taken?" I ask biting my lip

Laughing he says," and this is what I was expecting. Yes most Doms in our circle wear a cuff that matches their submissive's collar. So yes, there is a way to show that BG belongs to you, however, I will warn you outside of the lifestyle most people wouldn't know that he was in a relationship. Which is one of the reasons that many of us do the wedding for our families or wear wedding rings. Basically Sissie it is whatever you and BG decide is right for you as a couple. I figured yall had talked but I also know that Ash had lots of questions and it helped her figure out how she felt about it by talking to another older couple that had been in the lifestyle quite some time. "

"Thanks Eli, sometimes it is easier to talk to someone else because at times I feel that if I ask questions he might think I am not t happy but sometimes its just I need an opinion from someone else."

Ashley stands up gives me a hug and tells me," be careful in the morning and text me when you land"
Eli hugs me and I tell him ," thanks Eli I don't know how you always know when I need to work through something but you my brother have that gift. "

I finish packing and lay my clothes out because of my early flight. Tomorrow I will be back in B's arms and with those thoughts I drift off to sleep with a smile.