Torn up. ~Flamingeos Fanfiction

Chapter 152

I walked out of the toilet to the living room, to see Geo sitting in front of the tv wearing his adorable school uniform.

"You're finally out!" He said, looking at me with bright, happy eyes. I wonder if he heard my conversation with Isla. "You look cute."

I sat down with Geo and breathed in his warm, comforting cologne as he rested his arm on my shoulders and squeezed me closer to him. He had a smile stuck to his face, and I couldn't help but stare at it in question. 

"You alright?"

A laugh escaped from his mouth as he stared at the floor. "I kind of heard your conversation with-"

"Isla? Wooooww."

He let out another laugh and now looked at me, his eyes even happier than before. "I mean we could do it now, we have time." His voice was a whisper and his mouth was so close to mine I could feel his warm breath hit my face.

"You're already dressed, Geo." I told him, although if I'm being honest, I did want to do it now. "Later."

Geo's smile instantly disappeared and he rolled his disappointed looking eyes. "You do like to play hard to get, don't you?"

For once I was the one who made the move first. I went in to kiss Geo and allowed his hands to enter my jeans back pockets as I began to sit on his lap. He began taking off his clothes and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. He's so impatient. 

"Fine." I chuckled, allowing him to take off my trousers as we remained making out. I laid down on the sofa and felt my heart thud when Geo went on top of me. I was scared, but at the same time so incredibly excited. I was finally doing it. 

At first it hurt, and I had to clench my fists to not wince in pain, but instead let out a moan.  

"You okay baby?" He whispered. I nodded and allowed him to carry on doing what he was doing. It felt so good to feel his bare skin touch mine. We've been seriously dating for so long now it seems stupid how we've never gotten intimate. 

He then began taking off my top, and I couldn't help but blush when he successfully lifted it away from me and threw it on the floor.

"You look nervous." He acknowledged after he sat up, staring at me whilst a frown creased his forehead. 

I wasn't nervous anymore. I wanted him to carry on, it was painful yet at the same time felt so good. I stared at his lips to try and change the subject, which caused him to bite his. 

"You know I want to." He mumbled as he remained biting his lips. "But I need to know if you feel comfortable."

If I was going to be honest I wasn't completely content. I've always struggled to accept my weight, and even though I knew I was probably a little too skinny for my height, I still hated looking at my stomach which wasn't completely toned. I see girls in my year with six packs and sometimes even eight packs. Yet all I can manage to give mine is one line. It embarrasses me, and I know it shouldn't. 

"We should get ready for school." I sighed, sad to end our moment. But it was true anyway, we only had twenty minutes until we had to leave. 

"B-but-"

"Geo, we have twenty minutes." I quickly put on some underwear and then scanned the room for my school uniform, which was lying down on my sofa bed. Someone must have put it there for me. 

Geo went behind me to hug my waist and attempted undoing my bra. 

"Later." I snapped, tugging it back on and then grabbing my school blouse. I couldn't look Geo in the eyes, I knew he wasn't happy, but I wasn't in the mood to get intimate again. For some reason I still felt embarrassed. My cheeks were burning behind my makeup and I couldn't keep my mind off what I must have looked like as my naked body laid on the sofa. I could see Geo's eyes staring at it constantly, was he judging it? 

After I put on my uniform my eyes met Geo's who looked pissed off.

"A-are you-"

"I'm so fucking sick of this." He snapped out of nowhere, his angered eyes glaring into mine. "All we ever do it make out and it's boring! Whenever we're close to having sex you make up some lame excuse, the one time we actually do it you have to end it because of school." He stopped for a second, took a deep breath, and then carried on. "I'm sick of this. Do you even love me?"

"Geo, you know I-"

"Do I though?" He let out a sigh as his tensed shoulders relaxed. This time he seemed more upset than annoyed. "Whenever I'm away from you go off to some other guy. It makes me feel like shit, I'm always wondering if I'm good enough for you or if you deserve someone like Jack or Mario."

"I've changed Geo. I promise."

"I don't know if I can carry on doing this."

Tears instantly began streaming down my eyes as I stared helplessly at my boyfriend who now couldn't even look me in the eye. He's wrong, I'm the one who isn't good enough for him.

"I fucking love you Lucy. I've never met a girl like you and I never will." His eyes welled up with tears and I noticed that his hand which ran through his hair was trembling. "But I know you don't love me enough. I know I'm not right for you. I've always known this. You deserve so much better."

"If anyone deserves better it's y-"

"This is why I didn't want us to go out." He interrupted. "Becuase I knew I would never be good enough."

I went to hug him but he moved away. 

"Maybe we should take a break."

"A-a break?"

Taking a break always ends up in a breakup, it's just a nicer way of saying "We need to break up". I don't want our relationship to end. I'm never going to find anyone as good as him.