Torn up. ~Flamingeos Fanfiction

Chapter 99

Leaving Geo was hard. But, the next time I see him I may be there to get him out of prison forever. I've texted his mum about it and she's already beginning to start bailing him out. She's gone to the prison now which is why I've left, so she can have time to talk to Geo and then begin the process of bailing him out.

Jack was home as usual. He was watching the TV with a bottle of water in his hand. I sat down beside him but not too closely and laid my head down on the pillow. For the first time in a while, I didn't have butterflies. I looked at Jack blankly, like he was a friend. But he didn't look at me the same way. He looked at me like he loved me. 

"So you're over me?" He asked, obviously trying to sound happy. "'Cause you look it."

"Um.. yes." I bit my lip whilst staring at the floor. I couldn't bear to watch how his face dropped. 

"It's cool." Jack shrugged. He then stood up and I could sense the anger in him. "I'm going back to England in a few days, by the way."

"Wait..what?"

Jack turned around and frowned at me. "Why should you care?" He spat. "You love Geo."

I sighed. I can't force him to stay with me, he has his own free will. I can't take that away from him, only God can. And I'm definitely not God. 

"I'll still miss you!" I gasped. I then stood up and ran to give him a hug. Luckily, he didn't push me away because I knew that he was anything but happy at me right now, even though he was the one who wanted me to be with Geo. He rubbed my back and rested his chin on my head. 

"You love Geo. So if I can't be the one to make you happy, I mays as well stop trying." 

For some reason those two sentences hit me hard. So hard that I burst into tears on his top. 

"I'm so sorry Jack.." I weeped. I know what it's like to have your heart shattered into pieces, but my heart has definitely not been as played with and shattered as Jacks is right now. "You'll always have a special place in my heart, you're the bestest friend I've ever had. I'll miss our hugs and deep conversations."

Jack was crying too. I hugged him tighter and then looked up at him, still hugging. "You'll find a girl Jack." I whispered. "You'll find someone who'll treat you better than I ever could, just you wait." 

Jack didn't say anything. I wanted him to, I wanted him to disagree with me and say that nobody could ever replace me. But that's just plain selfish of me, I should really stop wishing for these types of things.

Jack then let go and walked into his room without looking back. He left he staring at the wall in thought. Jack's really leaving me. He's leaving me in America with a house to myself. I'm going to have to pay the bills myself, cook myself, sleep by myself. Damn, that scares me. What am I going to do without him? What if Geo starts hating me again? What if Mario stops talking to me again? What if Ariel stops talking to me again too because she's jealous of me and Jack's history? What if I loose everyone?

There's nothing I can do. I've messed everything up. Well, not everything. But a lot of things. I feel so hopeless right now that it's beginning to make me feel depressed. The same depression I felt when I lost Geo because of him getting hit by a car. The worst depression I've ever experienced. It feels as though your life isn't worth it anymore. 

No more hugs from Jack, no more amazing kisses, no more conversations about life. No more staring into each others eyes with love, no more feeling his soft warm hands and smelling his somehow comforting scent. 

This time next week Jack will be erased from my life forever. He'll just be a distant memory. 

And me.. I'll just be a girl who he'll always remember ruining his life. A girl who made him stronger and made him realise that true love is definitely not running after a somebody who's already fixed on somebody else.