Wherever You Are - l.h

Alone In LA

*WARNING: The following content may be triggering*

Luke: Skype?

Luke sent that message to me an half an hour ago. I threw my phone on the bed beside me and pulled my legs up to my chest. I cried as I sat in the empty hotel room, all alone. How is it that you can go from feeling happy to sad in an instant? Well for me, Luke Hemmings was my reason.

I was scrolling through twitter, which I don't do very often and a lot of people were hating on me again. Saying that I was only with Luke purely for the reason that he is popular. The hating made me sad but what made me feel worse was a picture that had been going around twitter. It was of Luke and a girl. His arm was draped over her shoulder and her lips were pressed to his. It was taken recently because the hickey I had left on Luke was peaking out of his shirt.

Luke: Baby, are you okay?

Luke sent another text message. I can't believe this. After a few stray tears fell down my cheeks I got up and went into the bathroom but it was a bad idea. I caught a glimpse of my reflection and burst into tears again and collapsed to the cool tiles. I knew I wasn't good enough. I knew I would be replaced. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone but I ignored it as I ran my hands through my hair.

I hate this. That little voice had broken free once more and was taking over. I pulled at my hair as I knelt on the floor, crying.

"I can't do this any more" I whispered to no one. I crawled over to the cupboard were I kept my bathroom necessities. I opened the zip with a shaky hand before pulling out a small box. I opened it and emptied the contents on my hand.

My razors. I take them everywhere with me even though I haven't hurt my self in what feels like forever. I took one before placing the rest back. I pulled my PJ shorts up before running the sharp object along the skin of my thigh.

I started to sob into my hands as I leant back against the wall. My phone started to blare again from my bedroom as the tears slipped away from my eyes quickly.

"Go away" I whispered, hoping the thoughts would just slip away with the tears and blood. I tugged on my hair lightly before pulling the blade across my wrist. "Just go away.... Please just go away" I whispered even though I wanted to scream. My phone rang again but I let it ring.

After a few minutes my phone had rang at least ten times. I slowly put my blades back into the cupboard before carefully getting up and going into my room. My legs shook as I walked and I felt completely weak.

I picked up my phone off of the bed and saw 16 missed calls from Luke. I laid down on my bed and he called again. I picked up this time.

"Olivia! Are you okay?" Luke said, his tone was laced with worry. I didn't respond, instead I just cried harder. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked as I cried.

"Y-you cheated on m-me" I stuttered as I cried.

"No I didn't, what are you talking about?"

"I saw the pictures on twitter, you and her kissing. Yeah, I found out Luke"

"Oh no! That is not what you think! She was just a friend" He said. "When we got to London a bunch of our mates came over to see us. She was one of our friends and we were hanging out but she wanted to get a photo with me so I said yeah and just as her friend went to take it she kissed me. I pushed her straight off and told them all to fuck off"

"Really? You aren't just saying that?" I asked him as I wiped tears away that were still falling down my cheeks.

"Of course, you can ask any of the boys and they will confirm it" He said and I knew he was telling the truth. "Now, what else is bothering you?" I burst into tears again at the thought of me self harming again. "Liv, talk to me. Please say something"