Wherever You Are - l.h

I Can't

WARNING:

Some of the following content may be triggering.

Also, some of the content towards the end of the chapter gets a bit heated so if thats not your thing then please don't read it

"I can't do this anymore" I whispered to my self as tugged violently on my own hair while sitting on the middle of my bed. It was about 2:30am on Sunday morning and I don't want to be alive anymore, it's as simple as that. I tugged on my hair again as I cried silently in the dark of my bedroom.

"I just can't" I whispered even though I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. "I just want to die" I whispered as I untangled my hands from my hair and pulled my knees to my chest. I sobbed as I shut my eyes tightly. My hand gripped my wrist and I dug my nails into the skin.

"You are a stupid, fat, ugly bitch!" I harshly whispered my thoughts about my self. I fell back against the bed and I felt the tears slowing down. I miss Luke a lot. He is coming home in a few days, but I miss him heaps.

I pulled the covers up to my chin and cried. I can't keep going on with this. There is no point anymore. My life has no direction and no point what so ever. I sobbed into my pillow but I managed to calm my self down after a while. I could feel my eyelids finally getting heavy but that's when I heard the front door close.

My eyelids shot open and I sat up. I could hear muffled voices so I got up and crept over to my bedroom door. I looked out into the entrance way and I was completely stunned by who I saw.

"Thank you so much for picking me up" Luke said to my Mum.

"It's okay, now go surprise her" My mum said before walking up stairs. My mouth was agape and I was stuck to the spot. Luke turned around and saw me peeking through the door. His face broke out into a massive grin and my lips mirrored his. I finally broke out of my trance and ran up to him. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I missed you" I whispered as I buried my head into his shoulder. I felt tears escaping my eyes again as Luke's arms wrapped tightly around me. It felt like I was dreaming, but I knew this was real.

"I missed you too" He whispered in my ear. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and cried into his shoulder. "What's wrong baby?" He asked. I pulled away from him to look into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I-i..." I started but I started to cry again. I buried my head into his neck as he rubbed my back. I felt him starting to walk and then the sound of a door closing. A few seconds later I felt my back against the soft mattress of my bed. I opened my eyes and moved my legs away from Luke's waist so he could lay down next to me. He kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket before laying down in the space next to me. He pulled me close to his body and I smiled briefly at him.

"I love you Olivia" He whispered as he looked into my eyes. He brushed my hair from my forehead and smiled briefly. His fingers ran down the side of my face, his fingers tracing my warm skin softly. "So, so much" He whispered again. His fingers ran down my neck slowly, which caused goose bumps to rise on my skin. He pressed a kiss to my nose which caused me to break into a small smile. His rough fingers traced over my shoulder before travelling down my arm to my hand.

His fingers entwined with mine and he smiled.

"Oh I have missed this so much" He said before pressing his lips to mine for the first time in what feels like forever even though it has only been a few weeks. Our lips moved perfectly together, like always. I felt Luke's finger trace over the promise ring sitting on my left hand. I pulled away and looked at our entwined hands. I looked back to him and he pulled me closer to his side. I cuddled closer to him and my eyes closed.