Wherever You Are - l.h

Distance

I have been home for two months now and I have been so much better since I spent that time with Luke and the boys. Since then I have only relapsed twice. Even though my mental health is better, something between Luke and I has changed. When we call each other the enthusiasm to talk to each other isn't there anymore. Our answers are short and they lack the intimacy that they used to hold. I feel like I hardly know him anymore. I hardly speak to him and when we do it's a short phone call.

The last time we talked we ended the phone call on a quick goodbye. No 'I love you' was muttered from either of us. It hurt to not be as close to him. Everything has changed between us and I feel like we are wasting our time talking to each other. It's always the same thing. Every now and then we will text but that's as good as it gets.

Everyday it gets harder to be away from him and the ache in my chest grows. It hurts to be away from him and I think that I am losing him.

I was currently sitting at the kitchen table in mine and Luke's shared home doing an assignment but I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Luke. I tried to write out my essay but I couldn't do it so I closed my laptop and went to the kitchen. I made my self a cup of tea and sat up on the bench as I waited for the kettle to boil. I pulled out my phone and opened Luke's contact. I considered calling him but I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk.

Just as I was about to shove my phone in my pocket I gained the courage and pressed call. It rang a few times before he answered.

"Hello?" I heard a girls voice say and my stomach dropped.

"Um, where's Luke?" I questioned.

"He is just getting dressed, can I help you at all?" She asked and I hung up. He's cheating on me.

*Luke's POV*

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Can you hold onto my phone while I get dressed?" I asked our stylist. She nodded and I passed her my phone. I went into another room and changed into my clothes for when we go out on stage. I heard my phone ringing and then it stopped so I'm sure our stylist, Jamie, answered it.

It's been two months since the day Liv left and it has been a hard two months. I realised now that I shouldn't have let her go because I am losing her. Each day she just gets further and further away from me and I feel as if I have hardly spoken to her.

I took a deep breath before pushing all the thoughts away and walking back to the other room where the boys were and a few others.

"Olivia called. I answered and she hung up" Jamie told me as she passed me my phone.

"Shit" I said as I grabbed my phone and called her. She probably thinks I cheated on her. After a few rings she picked up.

"Why Luke?" She cried.

"Baby, that was Jamie. Our stylist. She was holding onto my phone while I got ready. I'm sorry" I said quickly. All I could hear on the other side of the phone was her crying and I fell back against the couch. I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair.

"I miss you Luke" She whispered.

"I know. I miss you too"

"What's happened to us Luke?" She questioned. I shouldn't have left her.

"I don't know"

"Are we wasting our time with this? I feel like we never talk anymore. I feel like I don't even know you anymore"

"Liv, I'm sorry but I can't help it. I have to tour and you have your school work to focus on. We-"

"Don't say that! You know that we can talk! We have made it work before. I try and call you but you don't pick up. I try and you don't Luke" She said angrily. "If you don't want this relationship anymore then just tell me. Just say the words because I'm sick of feeling like this Luke" She said before hanging up the phone.