Miraculous One Shot Compilation

100 Miles North

A/n - What my daily life at work would probably turn out like if I lived in Paris of the Quantic universe. I admit, this came out weird, but I'm posting it anyway.

The picture is actually a close up of my grandma. She got a bruise on her face that looked similar to the butterfly mask - therefore I wrote about her as an akuma.

All the news stations reported that there was an akuma in this part of the city. An elderly male (or was it female?) was running through the city yelling (or crying?), spreading uncontrollable waves of anger (or sorrow?) to everyone who heard. Yet when they got there, Ladybug and Chat Noir didn't see anything.

"Any sign?" Ladybug called out to her partner, who was vaulting in from the other direction.

"No, how about you? Any luck?"

Ladybug shook her head. The two stood in silence, unsure of what to do - the only sound being that of a pan sizzling on the next roof over. That didn't make sense...

When the two heroes investigated, they found their akuma with his back to them, placidly tinkling onto the street below.

"Um, is he... how do we stop him?" They had never seen an akuma do this before, and they weren't quite sure how to deal with him. The two stealthily closed in on him, hoping they could just snag his akumatized item and be done with it. They were almost there when another akuma came flying in, wailing as she went.

"No, Daddy, you don't dirty out here! You dirty in the toilet!" The second akuma swatted her hand at the first one. Each of her exclamations seemed to slug Ladybug and Chat in the gut with a punch of depression.

The male akuma swung back at the female one. "I don't need you to... to go!"

"Looks like we don't have a job to do if the akumas are going to fight each other!" Chat chuckled.

"Well, they're not going to dispel themselves, so keep your eyes peeled," Ladybug warned her partner.

The female akuma reached out for the male's arm.

"Don't touch me! You're the devil!" He slugged her. The female akuma shook him roughly in response.

"Now, Daddy, you know you're supposed to be my sweetheart, right?"

The male instantly calmed down "Right."

"And sweethearts are supposed to take care of each other, so you should be my sweetheart and let me take care of you."

"I'll do everything I can to help you."

The superheroes exchanged a confused look. "Well, that was easy."

Suddenly, the male akuma turned and looked at them. "There's someone over there and he's coming this way."

Neither of them had in fact been moving, but they leapt into action as soon as they realized they had been discovered.

"The red one flew way far away and the black one's going south," the old man commented.

"Now, Daddy, you don't pay any attention to that. You come with me and go back in the house."

"Okay."

--

The heroes followed the elderly couple back to a small house and paused outside. Both seemed calm and very unlike akuma, but the air around them seemed to be ticking from the impending explosion.

"Now, Daddy, aren't you glad to be home?"

"Yes."

"Does this look like your home?"