Not Without You [Chris Evans]

Bonus Chapter pt 2

Sadie's POV

I don't know how long it took for me to calm down; I do know it took even longer for me to run out of tears - something I hadn't done in months. Yeah, it sucked that my husband had lied to me for years by saying he'd be okay with another baby when he knew damn well we wouldn't be having one, but you can't change the past.

Honestly, it felt like I'd ripped a Band-Aid off too soon and torn a wound I thought had been healed wide open again. It didn't matter that Justin had been gone for eight months now; it didn't matter that I'd started trying to move on - betrayal still hurt like a wicked bitch.

I wasn't sure if I was more hurt by the omission or the reason he'd told Sebastian in the first place. Damn you, Justin James Wilson for being a stubborn ass, I thought. I should've known you'd find a way to get what you wanted.

It took a while longer for me to swallow my pride and decide to go back to bed in our room when I found that I just couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did. The heating pad had gone cold and I needed to take more pills, but it was still hard to shake myself out of my lethargy and start moving.

I needed to apologize; I'd been angry at Justin and had unfairly taken it out on Sebastian. I'd never done well with surprises, and while Sebastian had literally dropped a bomb on me earlier, he hadn't deserved my reaction - not one little bit. It wasn't his fault my husband had deceived me; I'd give credit for that where it was due.

I quietly opened the door and stopped short, seeing him curled up outside the door in the down comforter from our bed. He'd even brought a pillow. I felt myself starting to tear up again; it meant so much to me to see him there.

I snapped a picture before my vision was completely obscured and it took longer than I'd like to admit to compose myself again. I stepped over Sebastian, intending to wake him; his back was going to hurt if I let him sleep on the floor for much longer. 

"Sebastian," I said, crouching down and shaking his shoulder. "Sebastian."

He blinked owlishly before reaching for me. "Sadie," he breathed, pulling me close. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before meeting his eyes in the semi-darkness. "I was mad at him, not you. I'm so sorry I yelled at you, Sebastian. I needed some time to come to terms with things, you know?"

"I know - you don't like surprises, doll," he said solemnly, gently cupping my face with both hands. "I really didn't mean to spring that on you."

"If Justin was here now, I'd kill him myself," I grumbled before feeling a pang of guilt for saying that out loud. "I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't." Sebastian hugged me close, kissing my temple. "If Justin was here now, he'd have some explaining to do. I mean, he said he didn't tell you, but I didn't know why he wouldn't have at some point."

I sighed deeply, burying my face in Sebastian's broad chest and just breathing in his distinct scent as he stroked my back in a way that always made me melt into him. "I really, really wanted another baby after Isaac. It would have made things a little tight financially - but we could have done it. He didn't want to...and I think...I think deep down, I always knew that."

Sebastian's hands paused and I lifted my head to meet his quizzical gaze. He twined our fingers together, kissing my knuckles lightly. "Didn't seem like that earlier, doll. Wanna talk about it?"

I met his cerulean gaze as I sorted my thoughts, drawing aimless patterns on his bare chest with my fingers. "Justin never cared for the baby stage," I said slowly. "He'd never really spent a lot of time around babies until we had them ourselves. He was okay with toddlers on up," I shrugged. "Most guys are like that, though - terrified of tiny little helpless things."