Remember

Chapter 59: Same Scars

"Hey, hey. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Sawyer tries comforting me. I hold onto his arm as he pulls me up and I lean into him. His head snaps down to our small embrace and I quickly let go. His eyes meet mine and the signs of anger seem gone.

"You left me." I whisper, still dazed and not all there. I picture myself in that dark, cold, scary place. He stops walking me to the car and turns me around to face him. He seems confused at first, but soon realizes I'm talking about my dream.

He stares at me for a while, trying to figure something out. I watch as his hand reaches  down in front of me and he moves the curls that are blocking my eyes out of my face. My eyes immediately close at his gesture and more tears start falling.

I feel him pull me close and my head rests on his chest, his warmth radiating off of him and warming me. "It's okay." I hear him mutter from the top of my head. I shake my head no.

Nothing is okay.

I feel him pull me tighter into him. We don't say anything for a long while, but he continues to rub comforting circles on my back. I pull away first, he's seen me cry one too many times  and I walk myself back to the car.

I sit in the car and watch as Sawyer makes a call. By the time he comes to the car he quickly ends the call. He doesn't say anything but I feel the tension. His actions are aggressive and the way he's holding the steering wheel, I know he's pissed. He speeds off and I can't tell if he's drunk. I hope he isn't. I watch him drive and when I'm sure he isn't swerving and doing anything out of the ordinary, I lean my head against the cold window.

At every stop we make, I feel him looking at me.

"Your sleep walking is getting worse." He says, but I don't say anything. He points out the obvious, and there is nothing I can do. I turn my body completely away from him and slip my arms into the shirt to try and stay warm.

I hear Sawyer turn the heater on and I close my eyes relieved I won't be freezing to death the whole car ride.

"Opal, we need to talk." He says, and Im not able to decipher the tone in his voice. I have to admit these nightmares are getting worse, but I can never tell Sawyer about them. That will be a dead give away that I know about Ezra and he's the only positive thing in my life, besides Drew.

I don't answer him and stay in my thoughts. I know staying completely silent kills Sawyer. I just want Sawyer to go away and leave me alone. I hate that I quickly want to tell him about everything, so the more I isolate myself the better.

"We need to talk. You can't stay bottled up forever. You're bound to explode." He tells me when we come to a red light. "Can you try?" He asks again, whispering. I shake my head no, and watch as his frustration rises; he runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath.

"Was your dream about the shadow guy?" He questions. I turn to him angry.

"Make fun all you want." I tell him, knowing he doesn't believe me on anything that has to do with shadow man. I stare at the red light and see him snap his head to me, trying to make eye contact, but my focus is on the light.

"I'm not fucking making fun of you." He says, looking at me and from my peripheral vision I see his fists tighten around the steering wheel.

I see the light turn green, but Sawyers focus is on me,

"Go, lights green." I quietly tell him and once again lean my head against the window. He presses on the gas and zooms off, angry.

"Okay, then just listen." He tells me, I still stay unresponsive, but he knows I'm listening.