Remember

Chapter 61: No Second Chance

I let Carter in and we sit on the stair case steps. I let the tears flow, not being able to stop them. I'm glad Carter is here, but I don't want him to see me this way, my vulnerability at an all time high.

I breath out a shaky breath, as I try to control my tears and Carter rubs my back. I flinch at his sudden touch and he quickly takes his hand back.

"Sorry." He says embarrassed and he looks away.

"It's okay." I tell him, my voice muffled.

"Why would they do that?" I ask Carter, even though I know he doesn't know the answer.

"Sometimes they build people up, just to tear them down." He says. I look at my shaking hands, and I see Carter put them over mine.

"It's okay, don't let them pull you down to their level. They just want a reaction from you." He continues to reassure me, his cold hands try warming mine. He squeezes my hands and tries to pull me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder, but stop myself from getting any closer.

"Where's Sawyer?" Carter asks, looking around.

"I don't know." I whisper and shrug. Sawyer usually disappears at least once a day. No one knows where he goes and I don't want to know. Okay I do want to know, but he won't ever tell me.

"Come on." Carter says getting up. He turns to me and stretches his arm out for me to grab.

"Where?" I question, wiping my tears before taking his hand.

"Anywhere? For a drive?" He says, a smile etched on his face. I look at him debating, I feel gross, but I could take my mind off of things.

"Let me get my shoes." I tell him and run upstairs. I don't think I've ever been this spontaneous in my life. I'm thankful that Carter is here, and being an actual friend.

Carter starts driving and I just sit, not caring about anything. He drives for about twenty minutes when he sees a park.

"Haven't been to a park in forever." He says, looking at the big hills and giant jungle gym. It's not as cold outside, it's chilly, but I'm getting used to the cold.

Carter gives me a mischievous look and I give him a knowing look. He makes a quick u-turn and parks the car. It's not that late in the night, but the park is empty.

We jump out of the car and race up the hill. I can't help but laugh and let myself enjoy this moment. Carter of course wins the small race we had and sits at the top of the hill, laughing at my slow run.

"You cheated." I jokingly accuse and he raises his hands up in defeat.  

"You're just a slow poke." He says with a laugh. "Have you ever rolled down a hill?" He says, looking at the long way down. I look too, and it feels higher than it really is.

"Nope." I tell him, I probably have, but I have no memory of it. I frown to myself, but don't let myself drown in the thought.

"Bye." Carter says, and lies down, rolling down the hill. My eyes widen at how fast he's going and I debate whether I want to do that.

"Come on! It's fun!" Carter shouts from the bottom. I sit down, preparing myself and let myself roll. I can feel myself going crooked.

"See, wasn't too bad." He says, as he pats off the grass on his pants. My laughing hasn't stopped and Carter pulls me up, laughing as well.

"Nice hair." He says laughing and I shake it making it worse. I start picking out the grass and branches from my hair and I smile.

Carter takes my hand and we walk to the swings, we are both quiet, but it's a comfortable silence.