Avengers Imagines

We Need You- Clint Barton

(Gender Neutral Reader)

The thunder and lightning you watched clash outside your window was fitting for your state of mind. The constant state of mind making your life seem like a battleground the past year. You were curled up practically into yourself in front of the window, hands wrapped around a cup of coffee that should've been cold hours ago, and eyes glued to storm just past the glass. Darkness enveloped your entire apartment, as it always did once the sun went down. You had given up trying to use light bulbs after your abilities shattered dozens without your control. 

Energy was constantly coursing through you, not that you wanted it to. It was enough to keep you from being tired, which some could consider an advantage, but it just meant more time alone with your guilt. You sighed, pushing yourself up from your seated position to wander into your kitchen. You gulped down the remainder of your coffee to make room for the drink that might actually help you. Setting down your empty mug, you spun the cap off a bottle of bourbon and poured the last of it into your cup. 

Through ultimately groggy ears, you heard your front door open. With what you could do, it didn't make sense to lock it. The footsteps were too gentle to be a robber... And you didn't know anyone well enough to have visitors. Still, you weren't even bothered to turn around. You held a firm grip on the edge of your counter and waited for whoever was mixing up your routine. However, the intruder's reflection in your kitchen window caught your attention. Your body tensed upon seeing him, but it ultimately softened almost to the point of melting.

"I thought assassins were supposed to be subtle..." You willed yourself to speak first to know that you'd be able to hold a conversation.

"I thought you didn't drink," a voice you would always recognize said from behind you. It was only a matter of time for a member of your old team to track you down. You just wished it was anyone but him. 

"Yeah, well," you downed half of the burning alcohol, not even bothering to look back at him, "people change in a year. What do you want Clint?" you snapped with a low hanging head. It was harsh, you knew that, but the guilt ridden part of you still wanted to keep him at arms length. Or further.

"We need your help," he said confidently but you scoffed. 

"You can't use any help I have to give..." you bitterly muttered, finally throwing him a glance. You roamed back into your living room knowing Clint was right on your heels while he continued.

"That's where you're wrong. We have an, energy based threat," you scoffed again, shaking your head, "that could-"

"Wipe out the world?" you interrupted and turned to finally face him. Damn he was still distractingly handsome. "What else is new..." It was difficult to tear your gaze away from his blue/grey eyes. Sighing, you collapsed onto the couch out of the sheer exhaustion of the possibility of using your powers again.

"Try the galaxy," he added nonchalantly, though what he said was anything but. That caught your attention and he tossed a file down in front of you. You were still for a few minutes, since everything you had for the past year was screaming at you to not open it. You had built up a wall between you and your heroic past, and you were dreading the day you'd have to tear that wall down. And yet...

You downed the rest of your drink with the hopes of preparing you for whatever you were about to read. Your mug was slammed onto the coffee table and the file was torn open. Opening that door to your past was more than enough to frustrate you, not to mention dealing with another catastrophic and world-ending threat. Within the thin file were scraps of paper that had seen decades of time, all documenting different gems with accompanying pictures of said gems, and the wrath they'd caused. 

"If you want me for my powers..." you started, still in a staring contest with the file in front of you as Clint warily sat beside you.

"You know that's not true. Even if you weren't ergokinetic, I would still be here to bring you home."

"Yeah I guess you drew the short stick there. How'd you get stuck with this job?" you asked dryly. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his jaw tense. The question had been plaguing your mind since he got there, since you doubted he volunteered to track down and talk his ex into coming back. 

"We're your family, Y/N, and you belong back with us. It's as simple as that." You couldn't piece together why Clint breezed by the question. His tone dipped from professional to more personal, but he was still keeping a distance between the two of you. You didn't blame him.

"I can't," you said with finality. You shoved the file away before running your hand through your hair. 

"Yes you can-" he started but you interrupted again. 

"I can't!" You turned to meet his eyes after your outburst. Unfortunately, the hurt was clearly visible even in your streetlight lit living room. "I'm rusty! I haven't even used my abilities in months, not that I'd want to after..." you trailed off since you found yourself lacking the strength to even say it. 

"He forgave you," Clint said with determination. He was always determined to keep you from thinking negatively about yourself. Before all this, at least. 

"That's not the whole story and you know it." You didn't want him to see the tears in your eyes yet you couldn't look away. 

"Steve forgave you, Y/N. It was an accident-" You knew what he was going to say, he said it all after it happened.

"You saw what I'm capable of Clint! Everyone did! And if it were anyone but Steve when I lost control, I would've killed someone!" You held your own hands as tightly as possible to stop them from shaking. "If it were Nat, if it were Tony..if it were you... I would have killed someone. A super soldier serum was the only thing that stopped me from becoming a murderer that day." The crack in your voice gave you away. Surprisingly, Clint gently cupped your hands in his and didn't hesitate to slide closer to you. Leaving the Avengers meant you left him too. It was just another layer of pain every day, but you never stopped missing him. He was the love of your life, but you were terrified of hurting him after nearly killing Steve with your abilities. 

You all but collapsed into him and leaned your forehead into the crook of his neck. Tears were silently streaking down your cheeks, and Clint delicately stroked his fingers through your hair. After doing your utmost to repress what happened, it was like a dam burst. You knew you had no right to let him comfort you, since you left him with barely an explanation, but him holding you into his chest was still therapeutic. Unexpectedly, you felt a tear hit your forehead that clearly wasn't your own. 

"We trust you Y/N. We do, your team. Your family. We miss you like crazy...I miss you like crazy. It was an accident." You leaned back as he gently held your jaw to determinedly look into your eyes. "You can control this Y/N. You're strong enough to not let it control your life, you always have. That was a freak accident, and I can't stand to see it ruin your life anymore." You held onto his wrists to ground yourself into hearing his words. "Please, come back with me."

He was right. He had to be. You couldn't let it control your life anymore, and you did miss them all. Especially the man sitting in front of you. With a shaky deep breath, you nodded. Clint sighed in relief before planting a long awaited kiss on your forehead. 

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Hey guys, thanks for reading! Sam is up next, and I might actually post it in a few hours, if I can finish it. If not, then it'll be up tomorrow. The closer we get to Infinity War, the more anxious I get. I'm convinced this movie will break me. Anyhow, vote, comment, and request!