Where Are You Know?

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Looking back at my life...
It has been short,
But not sweet.

You left,
Or my mother took us kids away
From you.

it either way...
I missed out on having a father,
And it sucks

Mother met another man,
Or should I say,
A few men?

They raised me...
One was a jerk to mother
And taught me to hate her.

The other...
Taught me to hate myself,
And how to bottle myself up.

Both men
Were teaching me
Negative things

And you were gone,
Always out of touch.

Then you decide
To come visit me...
But then leave...

And there was this one guy...
He was perfect,
Fit our lives so well...

It pains me to say,
I miss him,
More then anyone in the world of dad's....

He was funny, smart, sweet, and wise...
He had gone through shit,
And understood...

We could sit up all night
And talk about our problems,
Our thoughts on things....

But,
He disappeared.
Didn't even say good bye

He hurt me...
Pushed me away...
Blamed me

Said I changed,
When i was recovering
And time in my life.

Getting used to being diabetic...
Getting used to
Dealing with the fear of needles

Getting used to being different,
And looked at differently...
Going into Tenth grade diabetic

I was frightened
And needed him the most...
But he left...

It still hurts to hear his voice
When mother talks to him...
Or when he remarks to what I say.

It hurts so much...
Don't put people through that...
Where are you now?

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