Short Poems

I'm Scared

I'm scared okay???
Is that wrong?
I'm frightened...
What if I won't be a great mother,
What if I let them down?
What if someone takes them from me?
God...
Being a mother frightens me,
But....
Oddly enough,
I can see myself being a mother...
I just want to settle with the right guy...
I'm so un sure right now...
I can't promise anything.
I can't promise I will love you forever,
God...
It scares me...
I don't want to think of marriage,
I don't want to make a mistake.
I know I can lie to myself for only a short time,
Before the truth hits me...
What if I ain't meant for you...
Or am I one of those people
Where I run when I'm scared?
I don't want to run anymore...
I want to be open with you...
If I have to keep it a secret,
Then it isn't right.
What if I don't know how to just love one person?
I'm afraid...
What if I fall in love to easily???
Fuck,
I shouldn't even think like this...
I have having a history...
I want to start out clean,
I want to go back in time and change,
Everything...
Not do what I did...
Not live like a teenage...
Actually be able to give Myself to my husband...
Why didn't I hold back???
I regret all my choices...
I feel like...
I'm such a horrible person,
Yet everyone sees the Angel...
What would they do if they saw my devil?
I don't want to lose people...
I hate change...
But if the change is for the best then let it be.