Short Poems

8-29-19

As I allowed my eyes to close,
While I had my head resting on your chest,
Close to your heart beat,
I whispered three quiet words.

Then you squeezed me,
Holding me,
Trying to bring me as close as you can,
To your heart.
To the place I belong.
Yet...
You still used me,
Even tho...
I had been faithful and true.

Spreading all the lies,
Making every passing stranger,
Turn into another demon I fear deep down.
Cause their words eat me alive.

As your words got locked up inside me,
They started to form a cycle.
With every cycle,
They became more and more toxic.
Acting as a poisoned liver,
My body started producing its own poison.
Becoming a threat to myself.

Every blade,
Started to look like a lover.
Loving the pain and the stinging,
I fell in love with the streaks that now covers my skin,
Making my body a canvas.
I painted my pain in glorious gestures,
In hidden places.

Not wanting everyone around me to know,
Or see,
That I'm hurt deep down.
I didn't want people to know,
I'm lost.
I need help...

Every cut was a cry for help.
My heart wanted a sanctuary,
My body,
Wanted a break from my self sabotage.
And my mind,
Longed to be set free.

With everything cut,
My soul let out a cry to heaven.
Screaming to God.
Telling him,
I'm killing myself...
God help me!
And he looked down with sorrow in his eyes.
Knowing my pain,
He held me in his hands,
As I bled out from my external and internal wounds that had been slowly eating at me.

And with tears in his eyes,
And a sadness that only a true creator could know,
For what was once a beautiful piece of art in his eyes,
was now but a husk of their former glory.

"Someday I must stop this vicious cycle," he cried out
But just as he uttered the words,
he realized the emptiness around him.
For there's no way to fill such a deep darkness,
If there were, would it not just be light?