42nd Country Road

It wasn't Me...I Swear

"Beautiful isn't it, Mark?" I said as calmly as possible. I felt hands run up and down my sides.

"You need to get sleep, Ev," Mark's soft voice whispered. I turned around to face him.

"I don't want to," I said, looking deep into his eyes. I felt my eyes start to get heavy.

"You need to," he replied. I started to lose my strength and fall into his arms. He laughed a bit. I closed my eyes and laughed back up at him.

"I'll go to sleep if you stay with me," I said.

"Deal," he replied. I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up in a grassy field filled with hay bales. I stood up and looked around.

"You know, I thought you would be less stupid," Said a familiar voice behind me. I turned around to see the dark me. The gone me.

"What?" I questioned.

"Oh, don't play dumb," She said, "You run, you hide, you never stay still,"

"I'm trying to live..." I started.

"You're trying to block me out!" She screamed, interrupting me.

"Look, I'm not trying to do anything!" I yelled back. She walked up to me, grabbing my hair and looking into my eyes.

"Oh yeah?" she said with the slightest eye twitch, "The bunker, the safe haven, the new era, you were scared of me, you ran,"

"N-no..." I stuttered out. She shoved a knife into my stomach. I winced at the incredible pain.

"Don't lie to me..." She said.

I woke up mid scream. I ran my hand across my stomach checking for any stab wound at all. All I felt were the closed scars. I ran over to the window and pulled it open letting the clean air rush in. I breathed in deeply. I sat down cross legged in front of the window just breathing. I was surprised that Mark didn't wake up to my extremely loud scream. I turned to the bed to see no one there.

"Mark?" I questioned the air. I stood up and walked over to the bed. I felt under the covers for any sign of warmth. The only warmth there was my own. I looked at the door which was slightly opened. I slowly started out the door

It opened to a partly empty hallway. The walls were lined with pictures upon pictures. I started to walk out, tracing each and every picture with my finger tips. Everyone looked so happy. They were all smiling and laughing. I wish I still had that. I didn't even know how to smile like that anymore. As much as I tried. I couldn't. I heard a creek behind me. I whipped around expecting the worst. I turned around to see Mark's brown eyes. I smiled lightly and ran into his arms.

"I heard you scream," He said with concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, I promise," I said into his chest.

"Are you sure?" He said looking down at me.

"I'm positive," I replied. I heard footsteps to my back. I turned in Mark's arms to see Jonas limping across the floor.

"Now will you work with us?" He asked. I looked at his thigh. I looked back at Mark.

"Did I do that?" I asked. Mark just nodded slowly. I turned around again.

"I'll help you under one condition," I said walking out of Mark's arms.

"What is it?" Jonas asked.

"I want to know where the hell Jack and Lisa are," I said. Jonas started to walk down the hallway. Mark and I followed him.

" Lisa is asleep in a room downstairs," He said. He opened a door to a larger room. Inside was Jack curled up on the bed. It was like we were at the cabin all over again. Blood was everywhere.

"Jack?" I asked slowly walking into the room. He turned over and looked at me.

"What are you doing here? I thought they took you," He said, stress straining his voice.

"I'm still here," I said calmly, "Jack what did they do to you?"

"Uh... Nothing I-I did this to myself, see?" He said showing his arms. There were cuts up and down his arms.

"Jack..." I said in shock.

"It wasn't me, it was the dark, I swear on my life Ems," He said. I heard the tears start to break into his voice.

"Jack, it's okay," I said.

"I-I didn't ask for this I, tried to tell him that it hurt, I..." He started. I ran up giving him a hug.

"I know how you feel," I said, "You're okay now,"

"I'm sorry," He said. I felt his tears soaking into my shirt.

"It's not your fault, Jack," I replied. Mark then came in with a med kit and helped me wrap his arms. I smiled at him telling him that it would be okay.He weakly smiled back.

"You'll be okay, I promise," I said.

Once Mark and I finished we walked out of the room. I looked up at him and shed a tear.

"Oh, Ev," he said pulling me into his strong arms.

" I did this," I said.

"You did nothing to cause this," He said.

"I did this," I said, "This was all me,"

"No it wasn't you Ev," Mark said, trying to convince me. I walked out of his embrace. I looked down the stairs turning dark.

"Handsome..." I said

"Yes, pretty?" He replied, dark as I was. I turned around to look into his deep black eyes.

" I need pain," I said "I miss it," I grabbed the bottom his shirt and pulled up a little.He pushed my hands back down.

"You need to be patient," He said. I looked at him, turning normal. Tears started to stream down my face. I let go and walked down the hallway to Jack's doorway. I just stood there and stared at the door.

"I'm so sorry," I said. I turned my head to the stairs to my right. Mark got closer to me.

"Don't be sorry," He said through love.

"Everyone around me is always getting hurt trying to protect me," I said.

"Ems, I do it because I love you and Jack is your friend, we do it because we care," He said slowly inching closer to me.

"But I care about you too, I just need you to be safe," I said.

"Ev..." Mark started.

"Just give me a few minutes," I said, my voice cracking with more tears. I walked down the stairs into what looked like a living room. The T.V. across from the couch was cracked and covered with bullet holes. I started to walk out the back door when two men stopped me. I went dark for a few seconds giving them a darker glance. They let me through the door into the backyard. I went normal feeling the wind on my face. I screamed to the sky.I fell to my knees, my head in may hands.

"I did this," I said, crying, "I DID THIS!" I screamed again. I ran my hands through my hair and looked up at the sky. I looked at the patterns in the clouds. I finally let go of my hair and let my hands fall to my sides.I sat back on my heels and closed my eyes, letting tears fall down my cheeks.