Hamilton Oneshots!

I Will Never Be Satisfied {Laurens x Reader}

oo boy time for some sadness... and jeggy.

pairing; john laurens x reader

time; modern

warnings; sad reader-chan

type of oneshot; angst

requested?; surprisingly yEs! thank you @onewierdfangirl for the request! I hope it meets your standards ;w;

also they in college BTW

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Your POV

I had finally made up my mind! I was going to tell my long-term crush, John Laurens, that I liked him! I could only hope it would go well.

Today itself had gone quite well. I got a part in the newest musical our college got permission to do. It was called Miranda: An American Musical (yes I added this again bear with me... it also helps out a bit in this oneshot). I got the part of Renee Elise Goldsberry (isn't irony just fun)! I honestly thought she was amazing. She was an awesome role model and a even better sister. I hoped I would be able to do her justice.

Currently, I was trying to figure out how I'd tell John I liked him. I was trying to narrow down some ideas when my phone buzzed. I looked at it to see a text from the guy himself.

Johnny: (N/N)!

(N/N): Johnny!

Johnny: I have something to tell youuu!

I found that coincidental. I guess I'd have to wing my confession.

(N/N): Really?? I actually do too!

Johnny: Awesome! (wow! i'm sorry let's just keep going...) Can you meet me at my dorm now? We can talk there. I have a guest over... but it'll make sense when you get here!

I was little suspicious, and I felt a part of me drop. Maybe confessing wasn't such a good idea... I was mentally kicking myself before I realized I still had to answer John. Might as well...

(N/N): Sounds great. See ya in a few!

Johnny: Cya soon (N/N)!

I tucked my phone in my back pocket (shh you have one now). Let's hope this doesn't go south. I walked out of my dorm, closing the door behind me and locking it. John's dorm was on the floor above me.

I quickly made my way up the stairs and found John's door.

Knock knock.

"Coming!" I heard John's voice call. The door opened to reveal John's freckled face. "Well that was quick! Come in!" I entered his dorm and found my close friend, Peggy, sitting on his sofa. So that was who his guest was. Peggy waved to me. "Hey (N/N)!"

I waved back, smiling at her enthusiasm. "Hi Pegs!" I took note of how enthusiastic they both were. I could already feel in my gut this wouldn't go well for me, but for what reason, I didn't know. I had an idea though...

I sat down on a chair near John's sofa, and John sat next to Peggy. John looked at me, his hazel eyes sparkling. "So (N/N), what was your news?"

I shook my head, waving him off. "It's not important, you can go first. I can tell you're very excited."

John smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah..." He glanced at Peggy. "Want me to say it?"

I felt my heart drop. Peggy nodded. "Sure! It's your news exchange after all y'know."

"Riiiiight..." John looked back at me. I prepared for the worst.

"So... (N/N)... Peggy and I are well... dating!"

There it was. I'm glad I at least started to mentally prepare myself. I should've known the moment I walked in here and saw her. I forced myself to act surprised and smile.

"Really?! That's awesome! I'm happy for you two!"

They believed it. John's freckled face lit up even more and Peggy giggled.

"We were afraid you wouldn't take it well," Peggy said. If only you knew... "We figured we'd tell you first and then tell everyone else, since you're like our best friend," John added. The words echoed in my head.

Best friend...

Best friend...

Best friend...

Best frie--

I could feel the tears pricking my eyes but I blinked them away. John looked at me again, grinning. "So what did you want to say?" My head went into a panic.

Damnit damnit damnit I had nothing to tell him! I knew I shouldn't have done this, this was a mistake! I backed myself into a damn corner and now I'm going to lose them...!

Suddenly, my mind remembered the play. Renee! I can tell them about my part! I cleared my throat, trying to block out the crazy thoughts and voices in my head at that moment.

"Well... you guys know that musical here at the college I wanted to try out for..?" I started. They nodded, and Peggy giggled. "It's all you've been talking about, (N/N)," she said.

I smiled. "Yeah... but it payed off! I got a part!"

Both John and Peggy went wide-eyed, then smiled brightly. Peggy jumped out of her seat. "I knew you'd get a part! I'm so proud of you, (N/N)!"

She pulled me off the chair I was in and squished me in a tight hug. I laughed. "Thanks, Peggles. You guys are awesome."

Peggy let me go. "Does anyone else know, (N/N)?" John asked. I shook my head. "Only Liza knows, seeing as she was at the audition too." John nodded, and I remembered my situation. I exhaled shakily. "I... better get going."

Peggy looked at me sadly. "Can you not stay for just a little bit?"

I messed up the youngest Schuyler's hair. "Sorry Peggles. College homework is a b*tch."

She pouted. "Fine. We'll see you tomorrow, (N/N)!" John nodded, smiling.

"See you two tomorrow!" I walked over to the door, and as soon as I left, I started sprinting to Eliza and Maria's dorm. I told them everything, and they always helped me.

As I ran, thoughts clouded my head. I really was like Renee now. What if Peggy had known my crush? What then? It didn't matter. John's words flooded my head, two in particular.

Best friend...

Best friend..

Best friend.

Best friend.

It was all I was seen as. Renee's words stuck in my head. I knew it was selfish, but I couldn't help it.

"I will never be satisfied."

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part two should hopefully be out later today! and onewierdfangirl I hope once again that you liked this first part!