Hamilton Oneshots!

Can't Say Goodbye (Pt. 1) {Mulligan x Reader}

pairing; hercules mulligan x reader

time; hamiltime

warnings; sadness

type of oneshot; angst (at least my attempt at it)

requested?; nope (so why am I doing this to myself?)

there WILL be a more fluffy part two bcuz me and angst don't go well together

---

Your POV

I was constantly anxious. I knew my husband, Hercules Mulligan, wanted to help his country get out of war -which I was okay with-, but then he wanted to take his tailoring skill to the next level; become a spy. That scared me. But I knew he'd make an amazing spy and would be a big help in getting our country away from England. So I let him go.

I missed him everyday, falling asleep hoping he'd be next to me when I woke up. I still vaguely remember the feeling of his strong arms holding me in a hug. It's been about a year since he left.

Currently however, I was sewing who knows what. Hercules really had an effect on me. I stopped a moment to look at my golden wedding band. It was quite simple, but had these beautiful engraved patterns on it. As I was about to continue, there was a knock at my door. "Coming!" I called. I put my sewing items on the table in front of me and made my way to the door.

When I opened the door, I was expecting to see Eliza or someone else but it was General Washington. I did a quick curtsey and looked at him. "Sir, what brings you here?"

He had a solemn expression on his face, and waved off my curtsey. "No need for formalities, Mrs. Mulligan. But I have some... news.. in regards to your husband."

I gripped my dress tightly. "Is he alright? Please tell me he's alright."

He closed his eyes a moment, but then shook his head sadly. "Mrs. Mulligan... the British found out he was a spy for us Americans. They didn't hesitate to... remove him. I'm so sorry.."

I could feel my legs shaking and I tried my hardest to not collapse right there. Washington pulled a letter out of his uniform pocket. "A fellow spy found it and had it sent back to us. I knew I had to give it to you." I reached out and took the letter with a shaking hand. Washington gave me a brief hug.

"I'm afraid I must be going now. The rest of the soldiers as well as I send their apologies." With that, he walked away, and I closed the door behind him slowly.

I finally collapsed to the ground, sobs racking my whole body. 'They took him away. They took him away. First my best friend, and now my husband.' I looked at the letter, and in Hercules's neat handwriting it said '(Y/N) (L/N).'

I tore it open, still crying, and pulled out the letter. It read:

'My dearest, (Y/N),

Being in England, far away from you, is honestly a pain, but doing it for my country helps a little bit. Not a lot though, I still miss you more than you know.

They haven't noticed a thing so far, at least from what I can tell. If I can keep it for just a little while longer, I will have gathered enough information (with the help from other spies) to get us out of this war. Then I could finally come home to you. You have no idea how much I've wanted to just leave to return to you, (N/N).

How would you feel about living a post-war life with your spy husband? I look forward to spending it with my sweet wife. I'll be home before you know it! Keep on living until I get back, please. It's only matter of time!

Yours always,
Hercules Mulligan'

The end only made my cry harder, but deep down I knew he wouldn't want it. My husband may have been strong and a bit on the tough side, but he was always so kind and loving. He made me feel so helpless.

I picked myself up, and walked to our... my bedroom, putting the letter on my bedside table. I knew now I couldn't say goodbye, nor did I want to face reality long enough to, but I was determined to live my life like he would want me to. I would do it for him. Like he had said,

It's only a matter of time.